4/23/2016

"Speaking of batteries,
what's the positive in this? Negative?"
she threw out there, lithe little

extensions of her hand palely wrapped about a martini glass stem. It held seltzer and ginger.

Long Island City, Queens
twinkled cobaltly, covertly, in the
harbour

incognito, morphing into the sky
in the gloaming.
"All those people," I said, ignoring

the question. I always ignore the question. "So many. But this city
so cruel and brutalist and impersonal."

She shook her head,
stirred her cocktail stirrer
the mint sprig moved to the bottom

of the glass.
"As opposed
to what?"

everyone else is so done with 2016
but *******, it's only the 17th monday

and today's not the last day, i suppose
so would you come back, would you stay some other time?

you're the one who makes breathing bearable
and life possible to be content with

though it tastes sour on the tongue
each word i gulp back is sweet in the throat

so i try to hold a secret deep in the deepest forest
and soon enough you catch my eyes like wildfire

i had hoped today actually was not the last day
but if it's not, would it have been different?

every time i remember your voice, your gaze
it was apocalypse

Stop telling me I need a savior.
I stopped believing a long time ago.
Stop telling me someone will deliver me,
I been waiting for my hell to end
Stop telling me I am loved
If he did love me, I would not know abuse
Stop telling me that prayer is the answer
I have prayed my life away
Stop telling me this life is planned
why would god plan for me to feel so inhuman?
Stop telling me it is in God's hands
If so, his hands are full of sin
Please, for the love of god
stop
trying to make it okay by using *God

I only consulted my conscious mind
When I judged my parts
And attacked with violence my fearer

Then the unprevented scars
Chased lovers of beauty away
And
I'm left with this ugly mirror