As i sit here next to the sound of peace
i drink away my sorrows as my heart speaks
I don’t know what’s gotten into me
but I’ve been feeling like the enemy
A stranger to a best friend & home isn’t home to me
Losing sleep & can barely eat
Contemplating on the blade use or for God’s blood to rain down on me
I’m getting calls & messages from people concerned
Even the main one who decided to kick your baby boy to the curb
I’ve been lost for a while now, heads up in the cloud now
Getting drunker by the minute, the end won’t be long now
I lay down by this tree as i daze up into the sky
Counting the stars above only wishing i could fly
Tears running down my eyes & my thoughts run a marathon
Heart’s tired of screaming for help just for no one to respond
I walked away from home without saying a word of my whereabouts
It’s 9:30 at night but i haven’t come back, I’ve risen some questionable doubts
Don’t know if I’m ok or unresponsive, the anxiousness begins to rise
As questions begin to play out as the suspense fails to die
Not sure if i wanna go back home or stay lost in the woods
Go back to a mental prison where i feel lost & misunderstood
Can’t explain what’s running thru my mind but in the end, does it matter
Cause the more my feelings are ignored, the more my soul dies faster

Left alone on her own since she arrived in this world
tears tell the story of a heart broken & forsaken girl
No one ever cared for her, everyone left after a while
never knew her real family, she was an abandoned child
It brings me to tears whenever I look into her eyes
to be left in a world so cold & yet, She Rise

Her story inspires me to be all I can be
with my back against the wall & nobody rooting for me
You can’t ignore the strength of a Queen who did it all by herself
fallen angel but slowly building an empire with every shattering step
She Rise

Her tears maybe invisible to some but her struggle is remarkable
to overcome so much to become a force that’s unstoppable
Yea her life maybe a stormy night of rhythm & blues
but her statement of dominance, not many could walk a mile in her shoes
She Rise

☆ Poetic Venom ☆

I’m travelling thru this journey to escape the mind that used to be
shaped around the terror of life & what’s been mentally abusing me
People think I’m weird because my poems are based on the depression within
but it’s hard to fake happiness when sadness has been my only friend
The Mind of Terror only contains the constant thought of paranoia
so I’m fighting to escape the only source that’s been my life’s destroyer
I can’t go out in public alone without the feeling of people staring at me
as if they can see that I’m a sad individual who’s afraid to be happy
I still dance with the tears that I’ve hidden from my past
thought I left em all behind but the experiences forever last
Even the bruises on my fist from the rage punching the walls
& the long dark nights I’ve cried to God yet he doesn’t answer my call
I know there’s light at the end of the tunnel so I’m running towards that day
when I’m finally happy with who I am watching all my sorrows go away
But until that day arrives, I’m just a poetic mental explorer
existing within the mind of a mental horror

☆ Poetic Venom ☆

I got anger, anxiety, & depression sitting right next to me
reaching out to an old love but she refuses to text me
I could never let someone know exactly what I’m thinking
take a trip thru my mind just to see how it’s depressing
Loneliness, heartbreak, pain, & depression mixed with alcohol
fading in & out of anxiety just waiting until the day I fall
It’s been almost a lifetime since I remember being happy
always full of tears, can’t recall a moment of me truly smiling
Can’t let a woman into my heart without pushing her away
cause I’m afraid that if I love her for real then she won’t bother to stay
Flying thru my thoughts & can’t seem to find a place to land
but there’s no need for you love me cause my mind you won’t understand
Family telling me to cool out before I lose my mind & go insane
feeling like it won’t be long before I take a gun to blow my brains
Side note, I think I found someone who really wants to see my smile
& I’m too afraid to let her love me cause that real love hasn’t been felt in a while

☆ Poetic Venom ☆

She told me it was my fault that we aren’t friends anymore
it’s my fault that I can’t hear her voice anymore
I would’ve been happy with life if I didn’t fall too quickly
it’s my fault that she walked away & not wit me anymore
I should’ve never fell for her but what do you expect
when you’re the 1st to love someone who’s used to neglect

Would’ve been the best friendship I could’ve asked for
but she wanted to be just friends & my heart wanted more
She wanted only phone conversations, I wanted to be held
just an idiot with feelings for the wrong person it’s my fault that we couldn’t excel
Guess this is what happens when you know the right choice but make a wrong
& that leads you to writing not a happy but a sad poem

You let me fall when I wanted to fall back into your arms
& allowed me drown in my sorrow
It’s my fault for living in the midst of these cold scars
left me to exist with a cold broken heart that’s forever hollow

☆ Poetic Venom ☆

No inspiration for another entry but my talent itches to create
so I look in various places hoping to get back to my creative space
Whether it’s thru social media or from a line in a song
I listen to the words being spoken as my thought process follows along
A Poet’s Blues? That’s something you may never be able to relate to
Just the need of wanting to write but nothing exactly to inspire you
It’s like facing a roadblock but there’s no detours insight to get around it
you’re just traveling thru it & facing the horrified soundtrack around it
Could you easily find your inspiration when you’ve written over 400+ entries
wanting to keep writing but your drive & motivation feels empty
Not sure if you wanna write about your life, to a song, or just something
to keep your mind running even if the poem’s about nothing
My Poetry Blues, falls in place when I get the desire to write based on what I see
coming from the soundtrack of someone’s life but it relates to me
I just sit there in my living room with my pen falling asleep on the paper
wishing for an idea to come my way thru my mental creator
A Poet’s Blues? Imagine having your mind freeze & you’re just standing there
frozen in time & frustrated with nothing to say as you pull out your hair
When it’s all said & done, you’ll probably never understand the anger or a talent’s snooze
cause at the end of the day, no one really cares about a Poet’s Blues

☆ Poetic Venom ☆

Though I’m all smiles when you’re around me
it’s only a fraud to hide the pain that surrounds me
I can’t deny the fact that I’m one of those souls who’s sheltered
still battling the pain from the past that I still remember
Not too long ago, I was involved in a situation that’ll affect me forever
causing me to be paranoid & failing to put myself back together
There are some things about me that I’ve never shared with you
including how I contemplated on living without you
And I know when you read that last line, you maybe confused
but the fact of it all is that I almost took my life away from being abused
Trapped in a hell hole where every day felt like it could’ve been the end
just the subject of someone’s rage & unable to reach a friend
Didn’t even tell my mom until years later when I moved away
but deep inside, those heart shattering events took pieces of my life away
Thinking about the nights I spend in the bathroom with a razor in my hand
crying my eyes out & asking why I’m being punished by this man
Thought I escaped Hell by moving away from my family
but I moved closer to it which later became my biggest tragedy
Even with you in mind, I still felt like I was in this world so alone
feeling the fire from the evil of a household whose heart was born cold
So I write this letter to you in requesting that you don’t give up on me
& just allow me to paint the picture of the real me
Although I’m still that guy you love, there’s many things behind closed doors
that I try to bring to light but refuse feeling like it’ll be ignored
Just please don’t give up on me if I feel like I’ll never be the man in my reflection
that changes the world through a God given poetic blessing
Don’t give up on me even if I feel the need to hang it all up
if I feel like it’s impossible & I choose to give this all up
I don’t just write for myself or based on myself but for those who express their pain
being that poetic umbrella protecting them for their emotional rain
And I’ve never told you anything before cause you’ll tell me to pray
but that doesn’t work for everyone at the end of the day
I’ve never done self harm, just turned to music & art as a result to cope
with the emotions to which most would take as a joke
So as I attempt to make myself a better person, keep your prayers raining down on me
& no matter how long it takes me, please Don’t Give Up On Me

☆ P e n c a s s o ☆