You caught me laying on the train tracks
Listening to sad tracks
Thinking about times we had
Guess it wasn’t all bad
Too bad now we’re all sad
Wishing time would turn back around
so I lie here on the ground
Waiting for this train to come
I feel the vibrations as I hum
Hum along to the sad songs
I’ve been up for too long
Maybe I’m just tired
Hearts been set on fire
Can’t you see I tried for my last time
Stuck in a box like a mime
Except the box is my mind
Sanity is a little hard to find
But I guess it won’t matter that much
Just waiting on this train and such
Laying on some broken glass
Wonder how much time has passed
Running out of patience
Don’t wanna end up a patient
Just want it to be over
Some messed up kind of closure
Sorry but you just can’t help me
This never ending feeling of being lonely
Drives me insane especially at night
I hate that I love you, it’s poetic right
Hate me now but you’ll love me when I’m gone
I can see the light now, so it won’t be long

I’m done letting people step over me
I’m done being kind, nice, and lovely
I’ve picked up all of this broken glass
Tried my best to fix us and our past
On my knees begging for you to stay
Sick and tired of these games you play
So stab me in the back
Tell me what I lack
Make fun of my pain
Throw dirt on my name
I’m over trying to please you
My skies are turning blue
I’ve cut myself with the glass you broke
All those lonely nights I’d cry and choke
Hoping you’d change, see me for who I am
Tried to win you back, I’m sorry for the spam
Months of my life just thrown down the drain
So I listen to music while I walk home in the rain
Wiped your tears, held you here, kept you warm
Now I wish I never knew you were born
Just a terrible memory locked inside my head
It’ll probably stay with me til I’m dead
Go watch the sunrise with someone else
I’ll be here drinking until my heart melts

I’m beaten up and bruised inside
Never forgetting how you lied
Took my heart and ran away
Maybe you’ll text me back today
If you don’t I won’t care
I think I’ve had my share
Of your drama and your pain
Life goes on I’m switching lanes
I keep on acting like I hate you
I just don’t know what to do
Cause you used me as a rebound
But baby I know that deep down
You still care about me
And it’s hard to unsee
Everything we’ve done
What have we become
Absolute strangers
Fear my life’s in danger
Filling my lungs with smoke
Holding back tears as I choke
I can’t seem to find my mind
I’d be lying if I told you I were fine
Used to feel like you were always there
Used to make you smile and everytime I’d stare
I miss you and the things we’d discuss
But now it feels like there’s an ocean between us
I’m broken, lost, left without a clue
It’s such a shame you’ve left me black and blue

I called your phone but got no answer
This distance between us feels like cancer
Just wanna rip this heart out my chest
Forget about you like the rest
But I fear I’ve fallen in too deep
Get told to leave a message after the beep
You know it’s my number so you don’t pick up
So here I sit pouring alcohol in my cup
Thinking about everything you’d say
These things you’d say have their way
Of becoming worse day and day
Once made me happy now they tear me apart
I gave you my already damaged heart
Yet you abused it anyway, took it for granted
Now I cry alone broken and abandoned
I’ve typed over 40 messages to you
Cried and choked cause of a few
Gave my everything and even my all
All I ever wanted was us not to fall
But we’ve fallen down, out, and shattered
Your happiness, the only thing that mattered
You made me happy and once again whole
You’re gone now and there’s nothing but a hole
I sit in the corner of my room
Staring at the ceiling awaiting my doom
Crying and cutting and coughing and more
Soaking in blood along the floor
I’m glad you can’t see this wreckage
I’ll disappear like a deleted message

I’m afraid I don’t have long so here’s my letter
Hopefully reading this makes it a little better
Thinking about the first time I said I love you
Remember staring at the sky’s lovely view
Feeling like there wasn’t anything I couldn’t do
Feeling like life was a lot better with you
Last night I slid the razor down my wrist
Laughed when I saw the blood, a weird twist
The biggest threat to me is myself
Used to hide my feelings on the top shelf
I wake up everyday feeling empty and useless
Then proceed to make arrogant excuses
Feel like disappearing to Oklahoma
Or taking a few pills and diving into a coma
Failed at another attempt to find love
Asking god if there’s room for me up above
I’m thankful for everyone who’s been there
To who listened when my heart formed a tear
I’m sorry but I’m giving up for good now
I’d love to make it quick I just don’t know how
Everything I can think of I have to suffer a little
Just replace me like you would a fallen skittle
Pick me up and throw me away
Im left speechless I have nothing more to say
Goodbye, I’m sorry it had to end this way

Why do I feel so numb and empty inside
Gripping a blade while blood drips off the side
Thoughts of death creeping around my mind
Why is peace and love so hard to find
They said life isn’t easy
hard to breathe, feeling a bit wheezy
No one told me that life would be this hard
Walked all over like a little glass shard
My heart fell out my chest and shattered
Left me alone like I never even mattered
You can pick me up but I’ll fall right back down
Don’t know how much longer I’ll be around
I don’t feel like that same positive guy
The next time I smile will be on the night I die
I’m sorry to everyone I’ve upset
Once I’m gone I’ll no longer be a threat
I feel like this blade is my only friend
Wasn’t here for the start but it’ll be my end
I’m drowning in my tears while my heart tears
once I’m gone we’ll see who really cares
Suffocating before I fall asleep
Went from not cutting to cutting in deep
Put the cigarette out in my eyes
Feed me with more and more lies
Tell me you love me
That one day I’ll be happy
That this pain won’t last forever
That I’m special, loved, and clever
I’m just another heartbroken teen
With very explicit and horrid dreams
I don’t see why people try so much
As if they haven’t been happy and such
Lived good before me you’ll be better after me
My death is my only satisfactory

I wish she was happy and I was dead
Never forgetting the words that were said
You can never get used to a heartbreak
I pray to god my life to take
being told one thing yet feeling another
Inside my heart feels like my favorite color
It’s black for those of you who don’t know
Screaming for help but my pain I won’t show
I’m scared of opening up again
I miss the days way back when
I was just a stupid kid
Back when depression wasn’t on my grid
Before the girls, anxiety, and drugs
When everyday I would give lots of hugs
Now I sit at my desk with my flask
with the same questions I always ask
Why am I never enough
is loving me really that tough
What am I doing wrong
Is my life destined to be long
Why can’t I just pull this trigger
Can this hole in my heart get any bigger
was it something that I did
will I ever get to be that same stupid kid
I miss feeling happy, loved, and joy
now I’m just everyone’s personal toy
No one wants to know me
there is one thing I can foresee
Watching myself die alone
I wish I’d just sink into the unknown
whatever happened to that stupid kid