I do not die...I do not sleep
But loneliness kills me with a mental dent
And I fall on a paradox to the inch of the floor  
As little happy faces make me envy the warmth I long for

I do not breathe...i do not sleep
I'm just a little doll
With small hands and fabric skin

They call me names like a toy that ring
But I'm a rusting doll starving in a room
They use me whenever they need to
And dump me back in this dark scary room
And when months skims to July...
They seek for me
Those wretched humans
Their hands itch for my body
But my cold fabric skin urge for warmth
And so my helplessness gives in
As my feelings pour out and unfolds like dandelions
Their warmth
Their tasty grace
Their souls intertwining mine
And their strong breathing that sounds like a tempest
All these things I envy...
But when winter breaks I'm thrown away...back to the room
Like a litter in a ***** street

I stand on the window
As the sun touches the surface of the earth
And I see other toys in the backyard


And I panic on these heavy scars
That crawl through my cheap violet threads
Oh I'm a rusting doll tearing pieces of my sadness
Dwindling ecstasy from the warm courtesy of hands
The diligence I envy from them

But I'm only a rusting doll hiding behind the heavy door...
A lone soul in a musty fabric skin

You don’t remember me
Cause time forgets
Time hates me
I guess you hate me too

I miss your lips
And the times you kissed me goodnight
You where a good kisser

Let's say you're happy
And I'm still crazy about you
Let's say we met
Just to see ourselves again

Just to count our faults
From the work of our fiction
To my dazzled eviction
And it wouldn't matter if it works this time

But even if i wished that it did
We'd still seem broken...
Cause time forgets
And time hates me
I guess you'd still hate me too

Who calmly clings to his being
Like a lover to a rose
And sadden by sudden sadness
I'm half sick assaulted and gross
I'm not a monster
Or human as you see me
I'm a creature that blends in
Systems of old system
I exist in forms of pain
I exist as a persona of personalities
But I'm not the enneagram
I'm the architect of architects
I'm the melagra with chains
And author of those pains

Dear little poem...
I write you on a piece of paper
With fifty shredded retries in a bin
With red blood in my vein poisoned
And black ink in my pen spilled...
I'm a psychopath...a demon that eats the daily light
A zombie infected with a virus called love...
And I fantasize everyday about who i was
As I  keep hitting my head into this wall
For answers without questions
Because I know...I'm a freak who doesn't know anything about love
Even though you would be standing on my door with bruises i cause
Just to apologize on my behalf...
I don't think I stole your heart
Murdered is a right term
And jailed in eternity of regrets
And now you're packing up this garbage of sweet nothings
Called memories to whatever distance relationship they call six feet under
Dear little poem...
I admit I'm a sucker who can't admit his shame
Cause I'm a crazy cursed twisted insane and creepy ******* with a rotten heart attached to these...stitches skipping every drum beat breathing every tantrum of breath
And Crazy **** I said
Whenever I was sad, mad and angry
But really whenever I had to rewrite my inborn mistakes
From your beginning smile to my ending regrets...
Thinking I've puked enough from that beer
Leaving my rage showing you the true ugliness contained in my eyes
From this melagra
Which is hard to feel
And I'm under suffocation, cause you left me numb
Visualizing you on plain paper without super vision
You said the flower faded...from riddles to ancient youth hidden in you
The same love I shredded...
But that's pointless
The fact is... I never deserved you...
And now I'm eating off my own white shadow
Caged in you with birds of thorns singing hallelujahs drowned in my own worries...
I guess all I'm trying to say are my sincere apologies

Love was enough...between us
You know it was
I was a boy with only…a dollar in my pocket
And We'd skip school
In the early summers
And I'd pull you near
And i'd whisper those words you were…eager to hear from me
On the banks of that lake
Where every word got to you
I knew you that well
I knew your heart
But only that time…when Love was enough

I know my crime
Apparently it tastes like cream
I search inevitably for time
Apparently it feels like a dream

I'm busy judging you
You wonder how it feels
I'm sedated cause I'm a fool
You wonder if it kills

I know it's harder than it looks
That's why you can't see it
I remember reading your books
That's because I was the only one fit

I know my crime
I know because you're the reason …