Kevin

Kevin May 6

I can drop one thing to pick another
I can pick one thing when I have another
It's just a dream I tell myself
As I recall the worst playing hula hoop in my head
It's just a dream...
It doesn't matter what I want
Because once I have it I want something better
Because an old woman told me I'm handsome
And I knew my choices would be temporal
I knew I'd always be searching for something brighter...
In the light of day
And the beauty in the northern lights
Cause I'm a loner trying to cover up the reality
But reality is sleeping in the dark hoping for someone to pull me out
Cause sometimes I push people away too fair forget I need them
And for so long I've been fixing people's broken parts...
That I've forgotten how to fix mine.

Kevin Aug 2020

Rusting Doll

I do not die...I do not sleep
But loneliness kills me with a mental dent
And I fall on a paradox to the inch of the floor
As little happy faces make me envy the warmth I long for

I do not breathe...i do not sleep
I'm just a little doll
With small hands and fabric skin

They call me names like a toy that ring
But I'm a rusting doll starving in a room
They use me whenever they need to
And dump me back in this dark scary room
And when months skims to July...
They seek for me
Those wretched humans
Their hands itch for my body
But my cold fabric skin urge for warmth
And so my helplessness gives in
As my feelings pour out and unfolds like dandelions
Their warmth
Their tasty grace
Their souls intertwining mine
And their strong breathing that sounds like a tempest
All these things I envy...
But when winter breaks I'm thrown away...back to the room
Like a litter in a ***** street

I stand on the window
As the sun touches the surface of the earth
And I see other toys in the backyard

And I panic on these heavy scars
That crawl through my cheap violet threads
Oh I'm a rusting doll tearing pieces of my sadness
Dwindling ecstasy from the warm courtesy of hands
The diligence I envy from them

But I'm only a rusting doll hiding behind the heavy door...
A lone soul in a musty fabric skin

Kevin Aug 2020

Time Forgets

You don’t remember me
Cause time forgets
Time hates me
I guess you hate me too

I miss your lips
And the times you kissed me goodnight
You where a good kisser

Let's say you're happy
And I'm still crazy about you
Let's say we met
Just to see ourselves again

Just to count our faults
From the work of our fiction
To my dazzled eviction
And it wouldn't matter if it works this time

But even if i wished that it did
We'd still seem broken...
Cause time forgets
And time hates me
I guess you'd still hate me too

Kevin Aug 2020

March

I'm always searching for you
In the fabrics of your clothes
In the narrow roads we've walked
And places we sat
I'm always searching for your comfort
In the warmth of your hugs
Sweet taste of your lips
Always searching for your familiarity
In the faces of people
On this blank date

Kevin Feb 2020

Mors

The darkest shade of black
Is a memory you don't want to remember
That dark apocalypse you think of
with compression of thoughts preoccupied in the brain
Or like grey matter enwrapped together...slowly twitching away
To the god of death...not today
But I screamed scratching my nails against the wall of my room
My body itched and I tore my clothes apart
It was the worst kind of pain
And I screamed more as more scars registered on my body
I couldn't stop scratching my skin
It was as if something inside was trying to get out
My parents watched as they held their hands
They had called a priest that night
But this wasn't a matter of priest but faith
I spent next few days locked in a psychiatric hospital
And I was overdosed over and over
Four people were needed to restrain me
And they'd put twenty injections to succumb me
To the priest I was possessed
To science I was ill
To me I was dead

Kevin Nov 2019

Who Are You

I'm a lone stranger
Drawing closer to death
With fragments of solidarity
And sour scent of cream and of birth

I'm a forlorn stranger
In a world born of death
So birth contemplates soil
Of elevated heavens and depressed hell

I'm a lowborn stranger
With dark little poems and noble anger
My body and soul
Are of salt and dust
And to my fall
Comes my elevated call
Of heathens and evanescence

I'm a lost stranger
Without memory of reminiscence
I open my mouth
With voice frozen on girth
And only my last breath…
Speaks louder than my birth

I'm a torn stranger
With a hat and a soul
A boot and a craw
What else…
Is there to know

Kevin Nov 2019

Melagra

Who calmly clings to his being
Like a lover to a rose
And sadden by sudden sadness
I'm half sick assaulted and gross
I'm not a monster
Or human as you see me
I'm a creature that blends in
Systems of old system
I exist in forms of pain
I exist as a persona of personalities
But I'm not the enneagram
I'm the architect of architects
I'm the melagra with chains
And author of those pains