I think I still love you but even about this I’m unsure maybe I’m just hooked on what we once were maybe I just miss being in love or I’m stuck in the past looking at memories that I wish were moments we still had

I spew words about you onto pages you’ll never read
Pages everyone else see
I write down my fears and doubts
That I didn’t tell you
Instead we made out we kiss like lovers but my heart always stayed in a safe far away because my fear that it would shatter was what caused it to break

I’m afraid of that terrified even
I push people away because I want them to stay
To show that I’m worth fighting for
Or maybe it’s my defence because no one chooses me
So I push you away before you can pick to leave
This is my apology that will never be enough
I should of said
I know you love me
Not question why
I should of showed you I loved you
Instead of fighting it  
I shouldn’t have thought it was better if you loved someone else
Because at that moment you loved me
And that should of been enough
And It was
But my fears and self doubts held me back
So when I love someone again
I’ll love them
How I should of loved you

I never liked coffee
But it reminds me of you
So I drink it anyway
And when it becomes lukewarm
I’m reminded yet again
That your gone...

Will you look at me like that again?
Will you love me again?
Or do I have to continue walking without you

These days everything taste gray
The flavours i once knew
Become memories laid to waste against tastebuds burned by your kiss
It is the last taste I remember clearly and also the one I can’t forget

In my chest
You keep my heart alive
By giving it a reason
To beat