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126 · Jun 2020
Church
Slightly Lovely Jun 2020
When I walk,
into the house of worship and prayer,
with notions,
of souls without bodies,
and people not constrained,
by the labels and boundaries of this earth,
of loving without restraint,
without a condition of what they look like,
They all agree.
until I say,
I meant, the concepts of gender, and sexuality.
126 · Apr 2018
The words in red
Slightly Lovely Apr 2018
I CRIED
HE WHISPERED
I CALMED AND TRIED TO LISTEN
“YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND YOU ARE LOVED”
WHY DID EVERYONE TELL ME THIS
IT ISN’T TRUE.

“I KNOW YOUR HURTING, BUT THIS WORLD IS NOT YOUR HOME”
I KNOW SO WHY LIVE IN IT?
“BECAUSE, LOOK AT THE WORLD AROUND YOU”
I TURN, AND I SEE HORRORS
BUT BEHIND THAT THERE ARE MIRACLES
THERE IS BEAUTY
AND IT MIGHT TAKE A HUNDRED SLEEPLESS NIGHTS JUST TO HEAR HIS  VOICE,
OR A MILLION TEARS TO BREAK MY WALLS AND SEEK HIS  COMFORT,
BUT THERE IS SO MUCH MORE THAN WHAT WE CAN SEE.
SO I WILL LIVE ON,
IN AWE AND WONDER
...
123 · Nov 2018
sorry
Slightly Lovely Nov 2018
Im sorry
I know i’m clingy,
I know you don’t understand the hugs I need when I’m sad,
The embraces I give when I’m happy,
I understand that you simply don’t get this side of me.
This part of me that physically latches onto anyone I cuddle with,
The constant touch and contact I give and take.
I’m sorry I’m desperate and I need you constantly,
I know that you don’t understand how I can be so vain, and yet so self conscious,
The soft parts of me are so molded to be who my friends need,
And yet I can feel so alone.
I’m sorry….
121 · Nov 2018
Self Observation
Slightly Lovely Nov 2018
I hate the stretch marks on my thighs,
I hate the way I smile
I hate my chubby tummy and the way my arms flap,
I detest my hands, my odd fingers.
I despise the fat under my chin, the bump on my nose,
And I dislike my broad shoulders

I love my muscle in my calves,
I love my blue eyes, my long eyelashes,
I love my lips,
I like my long caramel hair
I take pride in my curves and indented waist
And I adore my sense of fashion...
Trying hard to like myself more...
121 · Aug 2019
To You.
Slightly Lovely Aug 2019
To the girl with long brown hair,
Your eyes are intoxicatingly intricate,
And I didn’t notice until
They wouldn’t leave my head.
Until they were all I could see...
Until they had left a haunting on my heart.
•••
To the girl with glasses,
I didn’t realize what was missing.
I didn’t know how I needed you...
And suddenly you were there...
And I felt whole.
•••
To the girl who smells of soap
and ocean waves,
I didn’t- couldn’t- express my feelings.
That day that you expressed yours.
Inside my heart, an unpredictable sea.
But the storm has passed,
and I know now.....
But it’s too late,
Opportunity missed,
like a leaf in the wind.
•••
To the girl who sings,
You feel of late night vibes,
A constant reminder of delirious laughter
And whispered secrets.
...
I know you have to go,
I even understand that you’ll be back...
I know it shouldn’t make a difference,
But it does
And I’m still hurting.

•••
To the girl of roleplays,
I know it’s lame to say this,
But when our characters,
Touch and love and kiss...
My stomach gets a million butterflies
And my heart does backflips.
•••
To the girl named Avery,
If I could express my feelings,
I would.
But you feel for another,
And my parents restrict on who I can love,
So I will sit here,
In my veil of       S   I   L   E   N  C   E
•••
To you, my sweetheart...
You make every day worth living,
And I know we hugged goodbye,
But I still cried myself to sleep last night.
•••
To the girl I love,
You are the most;
Smart, kind, ethereal, funny and cunning
person that I know.
•••
I can imagine us in our twenties.
In only our T-shirt’s and underwear,
We cook and dance.
It’s early, but you sing anyway,
as I only grumble at the time...
———————————————————
You hug me from behind,
And I kiss your cheek.
You’ll say “Morning Sunshine”
And I’ll sleepily reply,
“Morning Sweetheart”.

I imagine evenings where you are ranting,
Pacing our living space.
I’ll sit and listen, a cup of wine in my hand.
In the end, I’ll offer comfort and love,
Laying your head down on my lap,
I’ll hum,
I’ll play with your hair,
I’ll give you my thoughts,
And if you fall asleep,
I’ll lay there all night,
so as not to wake you.

I imagine you getting overwhelmed,
By all my emotions and irrationality,
But somehow still finding it endearing.
I imagine bumps and cracks,
But in the end, it’ll all be worth it....

I imagine us.
And I’m too afraid to say it.
I.    L O V E.    Y O U.
I'm dealing with some stuff and questioning some things.
121 · Feb 2020
We're not just kids
Slightly Lovely Feb 2020
we're people who have grown up feeling so isolated,
we turn the music up just to stop feeling alone.
121 · Apr 2018
Separate Lovers
Slightly Lovely Apr 2018
I was a piece
In your puzzle
Taking and giving
A breath of imaginary love
In and out
Waves of our lives
And you drew out of my harbor

You were certain
So was i
But some things shouldn’t last
And you were meant for her...
But i’m still hurt

And oh
I loved you
A cry of life
In a world of lukewarm
Moving in the rhythm of our secrets
Rising and falling instantaneously
But I was misinformed

You and me
You and her
Vertically falling
Always seeing you
When i close my eyes
Behind my lids

And oh
I loved you
A statement of love
In a world of lukewarm
Moving in the rhythm of our secrets
Growing and sinking into our shadows
But I was misinformed

I don’t regret this
But i wish i could forget us
Because i deserve sleep
And you deserve to be happy
But i guess that's why you left

I breathe in
You breathe out
I go under
You go up
Separate lovers
With separate love
This is more like a song... It's actually for a friend of mine, who is not doing so well.
121 · Dec 2019
Soul tie
Slightly Lovely Dec 2019
should i keep it?
or should i cut it?
120 · Nov 2020
(crushing)
Slightly Lovely Nov 2020
Darling,
melancholy tastes so sweet,
when I think about how I love you
120 · Sep 2020
Loving is easier than love
Slightly Lovely Sep 2020
Loving, is easy.
It’s the aching.
The waiting.
The breaking.
That’s what tears you apart and tells you,
Love is hard.
120 · Dec 2018
Romeo and Juliet
Slightly Lovely Dec 2018
A hot and deep hatred
Burning fury and scorching wrath climb out my mouth,
Your family indignifies mine,
Your bloodline an atrocity,
I mope and weep and hope for death,
But I soon decide I’d rather yours.
Blood lust and icy glares,
Unforgiven crimes and unapologetic faces.
I send a knife through my kin,
I destroy my only future,
The heat suffocates our sweltering bodies,
And my blood becomes the sun.
I watch the bodies pile up, I swear aloud and fight the urge to growl
A simple hand gesture can start a brawl
And a single kiss can start the bloodshed.
Hatred courses through these roads,
Filling the cracks between our city,
I curse and swing my sword
Thrashing and fighting,
Dodge, step, attack,
All our futures bleed out,
Drying on the cobblestones.

A kiss
Warm shivers,
cold winds
Night walks,
broken promises,
Love and lust,
Soft touches of red and fire,
Cold dread, constant worry,
Joy overflows,
Love blinds
Hate kills,
Lust torments,
Pain and fear, suffering and mourning,
But still,
We love.
A feeling fleeing to the dark,
Something makes me want to follow,
Fluttery feelings,
Quick succession,
A garden full of life,
A kiss,
A beginning,
The means to an end,
Love
This was a school project....
Slightly Lovely Nov 2018
I wish you could live inside my heart, see deep into my soul.
I wish you could rest in our love, be calmed by our mutual “more than friends”
I hope you would see me, feel me and tell me I’m better than I think of myself.
I hope you know how much I love you, adore your smile and how much I wish I could be loved.
I want you to comfort me, to get closer, to stay when I say go.
I want you to understand i’m pushing you away because I care too much, and it’ll only hurt when you eventually leave...
I know you’ll never feel the same, you could never love me, but I want you to understand how loved you are, because if the situations were reversed, I’d want the same.
I know this is cliche, but sometimes these words must still come out...
119 · Mar 2020
iknowyou
Slightly Lovely Mar 2020
i know you. more than you think.
i know you probably lied to me.
about almost everything.
i did too. at times.
i know you love your family.
i know you dislike them too.
i know that you probably felt off.
i know you missed me.
but honey, i knew that before we got pulled into the sea.
and i still jumped.
i knew you were probably afraid.
but i loved every part of you.
i saw those parts of you,
and accepted them.
i still love you.
even the parts you probably hate.
i'm not stupid. but love isn't perfect
115 · Oct 2020
honey
Slightly Lovely Oct 2020
time slows,
thick and sweet
honey slowing my veins,
lulling me.
I wake up only to fall asleep,
my classes are falling behind,
but I can't bring myself to care,
it all feels so distant...
114 · Mar 2020
when i met you, you were so
Slightly Lovely Mar 2020
Beautifully
Breathlessly
Dangerously
  Y o u.
112 · Jun 2020
The father
Slightly Lovely Jun 2020
You, my father,
The one who says
“Meet me in the middle.”
So I take a step forward,
While you take two back.
Ugh. I just. I will never, ever marry anyone like my father. I do love him, but he’s impossible and emotionally manipulative and too far in disfunction to even realize that he makes mistakes.
112 · Dec 2019
There once was A Girl,
Slightly Lovely Dec 2019
a lovely angel girl,
who fell in love with a beautiful human.
The girl eventually broke and fell and searched,
but she could not find her human, no matter how she tried.
so she wandered.
they say she got lost,
walking farther,
                            and  f a r t h e r,
                                                        and   f  a  r  t  h  e  r.
and now, no one knows,
if she can even be found.
111 · Jun 2019
I. am. valid.
Slightly Lovely Jun 2019
Today I told my story.
Every single little thing.
My old therapist told me I should, so I did.
One friend told me I was faking it,
because I'm too happy,
Another told me that I was just being dramatic,
cause I smile too much.
But the most charming smiles,
hold the weirdest pasts.
My bright blue eyes have cried so many tears that they have changed colors
And I know my heart is kind,
But the softest souls, have held the most pain.
I am who I am, because of who I was.
And that is valid.
I have become like the waters I jumped into,
turbulent once, but now,
Simply soft and caressing.
111 · Jan 2019
Prompt #1
Slightly Lovely Jan 2019
Deep orbs of water, like the depths of the sea
Soft and dappled in the morning light, I stare into your eyes,
Slowly forest specks are visible, deep and dark around the pupils.
I watch you dilate and reflect, struggling to understand my gaze,
I give a small smile, tired from talking all night.
My head falls to your shoulder, and you wrap the blanket closer around us.
Nights like this are the best, nights where I watch the laughter and mirth bubble through,
Causing the deepness of your eyes to twinkle, nights where we sit and cry, talking of all the hurt.
Up on our small roof I watch your eyes fill with tears, causing the soft specks to be prominent until I’m stumbling in woods of fir trees and emeralds. But I know how to bring the ocean back, how to make the waters as bright as the sky.
Describe your love interest's eyes without using a color.

idk if I failed because I used the words "forest specks" but....
110 · Apr 2020
Forward
Slightly Lovely Apr 2020
If we met again
And you said something along the lines of regret of our time apart or an apology for our outcome,
I’d turn to you and say
“Just some steps backward, and more steps forward to come.”
It wasn’t either of our faults
(Even if sometimes I blame myself)
109 · Sep 2019
You are an Iris.
Slightly Lovely Sep 2019
You remind me of the blue irises I used to walk past.
Disappearing when the world becomes frigid and dark,
And raising your striped arms, as soon as the sun appears.
You know how to sway your body,
Matching the movements of this world.
You appear cold and uncaring, but at your center is a heart of yellow,
Pure and warm and safe.
Yes, you are an Iris.
A beautiful flower, too far for me to see.
Slightly Lovely Aug 2019
I miss you.
I miss your laugh,
I miss the way you smell, of ocean waves and soap.
I miss the sound of my name on your lips,
Spoken like honey.
Sweetheart, why did you leave?

Can I take you back?
Give in, lift you up in surrender?
Let you breathe me in and drink my love?
I miss your arms, and your simple touches.
*******, I know I was the one to help you leave,
But I wish I had been selfish. I wish I'd told you stay.

Ironically, the only friend who'd understand I've drifted from.
I used to not miss her, but now all I want is to explain my situation to her.
I used to scoff when she said the word Love,
It was like a mantra, appearing at every friend she made.
But I think I understand.
Can I break the distance? Can we talk?
...
I don't know who I am.
Can you tell me?
You used to...
I never thought I would like girls.
Is this a phase?
Can you answer me? Do you understand?
I pray to god you read this poem.
I really just want my best friend....
107 · Apr 2020
Sweet.
Slightly Lovely Apr 2020
Not even death could be sweeter
Than the taste of you.
Slightly Lovely Apr 2020
I’m  getting really, really tired of having to think about my feelings.

For the second night in a row, I lay awake, their face flashing through my mind again and again and again. Guilt, fury, and shame all curled together in my gut, heavy as lead, weighing me down into the bed but keeping sleep at bay.

The guilt threatened to eat me alive. But the fury curled around it, hot and unrelenting, and justified every action past justification until I’m not sure what was right and what was wrong. Were their parents even wrong? Or mine? Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I went about it the wrong way.

Then came the shame. It was like fog, seeping into my chest, dousing the flames and filling my lungs. Making me choke on its lingering bitterness. If I had just kept my **** mouth shut, it would’ve been fine. Or maybe if I’d been bolder, I could’ve made a stand.

And once again, guilt spread through my gut, long fingers of ice scratching down my spine. I winced, dragging my pillow down over my face. All this thought about rights and wrongs...

It exhausts me in every sense of the word. My chest ached, their face appearing in my mind yet again. Were they just as torn, just as unsure as I was right now?

Guilt, fury, shame. The cycle continued. With a long, heavy sigh, I sit up; I guess I’m  not going to get much sleep tonight.

But what else is new.
Idk, it’s late, and I thought I’d write this? It’s not a poem, just a short story about why I’m up so late. God, love is really hard ain’t it?
106 · May 2019
Sick
Slightly Lovely May 2019
I watch the words swim,
and swallow razor blades.
I wish I could say I'm okay,
but unfortunately, I can't speak a word.
I skip lunch, my stomach too turbulent to trust.
I do my math test, correct some science papers
I don't want to go home, would honestly rather be at school
I don't know why I can't take a break, but I'll just keep coughing,
Sitting in my sick...
106 · Feb 2020
i miss you
Slightly Lovely Feb 2020
roses are red,
violets are blue,
these monsters,
are just memories of me and you.
103 · Apr 2018
T A K E
Slightly Lovely Apr 2018
Take your last kisses,
Take your imaginary love
Take your stupid anger
And Take your heart away from mine
C a u s e    b a b y,
We’re
T O X I C
I’ll be yours, and you can be my phantom
C  a u s e   b a b y,
We’re
F A K E
102 · Apr 2020
Without you.
Slightly Lovely Apr 2020
Losing you was breathing in cold air and not having anything to exhale.
It was staring into mirrors with no reflection,
Walking under the moonlight with no shadow,
Or rain pouring your clothes to your skin.
I feel everything and nothing all at once,
When I am without you.
101 · Sep 2019
I miss you.
Slightly Lovely Sep 2019
Letting you go was one of the hardest things I've had to do...
Its like all that is left are faded memories.
And all I think about,
Is how much I miss you.

I know how you adore the sun,
but I can't live without the wind and rain.
And I try to stay bright eyed,
But then I become addicted to others pain...
And you my Darling.....
You're my *******.
101 · Nov 2019
this isn't forever
Slightly Lovely Nov 2019
i'll see you again,
when the god above,
decides it's time
for our paths
to cross
again.
ill run back to you,
if only you'll wait for me.
100 · Oct 2018
yellow
Slightly Lovely Oct 2018
The taste of butterscotch and sunshine laces my lips.
And the scent of honey and smoke fills my lungs,
If I could choose one color, it’d be your love.
You are the warm glow of fire,
making even the darkest of places your home.
And if you could stay my friend, I’d greatly appreciate your kindness,
I know others are closer,
but when they pull you with them, begging for your soft glow,
I wish we’d stay here, closer in our friendship of yellow
okay this was a pure emotional write and i sort of hate it but imma post it anyway and just hope no one cares about how absolute trash it is..
100 · Feb 2020
Untitled
Slightly Lovely Feb 2020
im so so sorry
100 · Oct 2019
❀:・゚ y o u ・゚:❀
Slightly Lovely Oct 2019
I find you in the smallest breath,
in the quiet books,
the thundering rain,
sunflowers,
the light sound of wind chimes.
Your eyes are so out of reach,
and your lips have never pressed against my skin.
But still I see you,
still I have you.
and I can't let go, even if I tried
Slightly Lovely Mar 2020
You affected me,
Like sunlight affects the dust,
You took a grey, dull thing,
And made it magical.
99 · Dec 2019
i miss you
Slightly Lovely Dec 2019
If I could create a swirling haze,
I think I’d keep you right here.
In a hidden dream, (will it ever really be clear?)
….
……
And yet,
I still go looking for you in the space between,
Watching sunlight pour through leaves.

Can we ever go back,
to when you sang me to sleep?
Can I reach through,
to a time of hidden memories?

If you’d stay here, I’d put your head on my lap,
And stay with you through it all.
I’d give you the breath in my lungs,
And watch you shatter my heart,
If only to see you again.
this is a peice of garrrrrbbbaaagggeeeee
Slightly Lovely Oct 2018
Your face brings joy to the forefront of my mind
I look at you and know that no matter what,
I’ll be alright. I can be okay.
But along with that, there are times I think of you and my eyes *****
They burn with unshed tears, And for the life of me, I can’t understand why.
Maybe looking at such a great being, at such a wonderful friend, simply is too great for comprehension.
Maybe this feeling brings the same sadness as watching the night sky, and listening to the thunder,
Maybe when I look at you I see sunflowers and daisies, I see the forest in all its majesty.
But whatever the reason, you make me want to live everyday like its my last,
Your friendship brings out that part of me that wants to dance without a care,
That wishful part of me that believes I could sing without anxiety.
You make me want to feel soft kisses, and sometimes when I think of you…
It makes me wish for small tears that never come...
97 · Mar 2020
Idyllic
Slightly Lovely Mar 2020
Lately all I do
Is relearn how much I can miss you.
Every enjoyment orbited by bittersweet memories,
Every memory evoking a night of sobbing so hard I can't breathe,
Till I can't think.
I miss you so much.
I don't know if it'll ever stop,
because every pain just becomes replaced with a different one.
What we had was so beautiful.
can i have that again?
96 · Sep 2019
sad time hours
Slightly Lovely Sep 2019
Trying to be perfect,
is killing me,
sending acid in my veins
Fire in my lungs.
Maybe I'll just wilt away
And show you what you've created.
for i am only a shell because of you.
Slightly Lovely Sep 2019
You do not have to carry your guilt forever.
Forgive yourself for all the fracturable hearts you have struggled to hold,
when you, yourself, were stumbling in the dark.
Let go of all the people you have failed to save,
all those harsh things you have let slip.
You and me,
we are only human.
and it's time to let go.
Slightly Lovely Sep 2019
You were such a Lion Hearted Girl.
How do I stop feeling this way.
stop the guilt and the longing.
You never apologized for how you felt,
Life was tough, but so were you.
You were so harsh and sharp,
yet when you spoke to me you became malleable and soft.
God I miss you, but i didn't when you were mine.
Which is a sign as clear as any other...
93 · Feb 2019
You
Slightly Lovely Feb 2019
You
I miss you.
I ache with you like I never have before.
Sometimes I forget.
Get used to the emptiness.
Don't remember your absence.
Im sorry... I'm so. Sorry.
If you died. how long would it take for me to forget?
...
.....
I hate myself for doing this to you
...
I want you back.
But it's been a month and I don't know if you'll ever return.
So Happy Valentines Day Love.
91 · Jun 2019
To be clear
Slightly Lovely Jun 2019
I am Christian.
and I am loving.
Love who you love,
Cause God loves you.
He made you perfect how you are.
I believe if you have the opportunity to help,
you should.
That person's prayers could be answered through you.
And no, God doesn't hate gay people,
He doesn't hate anyone. That is his truth.
The journey might be hard, but it is always worth it.
I believe that everyone is better than their darkest moment.
And I never would have believed these,
If I hadn't been through hell and back.
I promise you, no matter what you believe or who you are,
It will be okay.
You will make it, even if you don't think so.
88 · Feb 2020
Someone stole my wallet
Slightly Lovely Feb 2020
i left it in the band hallway,
so it was stolen,
by someone i pass everyday,
they used my card,
but i do not know if they took everything.
I hope they left behind the rest.
but part of me hopes for an impossibility,
that god finds a way to make all 25 of my letters find their way into your hands.
Slightly Lovely Feb 2020
What *******.
Life will slam a million doors in your face.
I'm not gonna wait around for the "right door" to open,
If I know the path God has made for me,
is through the door Satan just closed,
You better **** well believe,
I'll open it again.
85 · Sep 2019
Sweetheart
Slightly Lovely Sep 2019
My head rests on your shoulder.
I rest in this place of felicity,
Our love is quite nights and shushed laughter.
But I wouldn't change it for the world
Darling, I must leave.
But it'll feel good to ache again.
Patience My Love
I'll be back.
promise.
Slightly Lovely Feb 2020
This dark is swirling,
stuck inside this house,
crawling and itching and building in my head,
the silence so loud, the shadows so quiet.
i wander, pulling a blanket over my shoulders,  
opening the back door and stepping out under constellations.
The wind is cold and cars move in the distance,
small lights heading to their little homes.
  the street is illuminated below our balcony,
barley aglow in the new fog.
I lean into the rustling wind, resting my arms on the cold railing.
I hear a whisper in the back of my mind,
quiet and comforting, the way God always speaks to me.
This invitation to talk to the heavens, to the quiet world.
And it's all I can do,
to talk about you.
I look up at the moon and tell it about how you laugh.
tears slip past my cheeks as i tell the angels how sweet you are,
and how you hide it.
I tell God how strong you are, as if he doesn't know.
And I'm comforted,
because we talk to the same god, under the same sky.
And maybe one day, it'll be okay again.
so I go inside and walk up to my room.
I close my eyes, under my covers, and dream of you.
this is a long one

— The End —