I'm no beauty queen
and I chopped off my hair to make sure
everyone knew that.
The ash from the tip of my burning cigarette
is the same dark, grey color of my lungs-
and I like it that way.
There's a hole in my black tights but
I wear them with my red dress anyway.
I'll slap on some lipstick and take a few pills to
fall back down the rabbit hole.
The best part is
I won't remember why my
two dollar mascara ran down my face.
So I won't regret a single thing.

i saw the sun strike your face
and saw your hazel eyes for what they truly are
kind

don't try and scare me away
because it won't work

i know the hell within your mind
worries you that i'll abandon you

my dear
you have already planted yourself
within my heart
your roots have already grown throughout my body

so when you say
you've warned me

i promise you
that i do not scare easily

everything you told me
promised me
was it all a lie?

i guess our love was so full of
passion and fire
that it exploded right in front of my face
with no warning

how do you wake up one morning
and decide that you don't love someone anymore

i put all of myself into you
planned an entire life with you
you made it seem like you wanted that too

and then the next day its
"it wouldn't work out in the long run"
"we can't be together"

why couldn't you have told me that?
now I feel betrayed and used
did you ever love me?
or was i just another distraction

now i'm back to nothing
unsure of what i'm supposed to do next
this happens every time

i wish i could find someone to love me
the way that i love them
i'm ready to give up

i feel like once i finally have a plan
i eventually end up with nothing
and i am so ready to let it all go
i am so ready to let myself go