You ask me to explain
Why I don’t seem the same
I don’t know any more  
But my feet don’t feel on the floor
I’m floating off to sea
Anchor me.
Pull me free from this sea
This isn’t how I want to be
I want to be free from being me
But close to you, Not
Floating like a boat
Trying to stay afloat
Pull me into shore
Let me reach the beach
You holding my hand
My feet sinking into the sand.

It’s complicated
And with complicated
Comes complicated answers
And Complicated reasons
Which form complicated solutions
In the form of complicated plans
All of this causes Complicated feelings
with a complicated road to healing
complicated better be worth it dealing
With all these feelings I’m feeling

People think I'm a loon when I say I want to move to the moon.
I'm just so sick of the political tricks people play to get their own way.
Ashamed of the selfish attitude
that grows and grows
in a place, in the  space
I once wanted to stay
til i am grey.
Now I can't  wait to get away.
The more global we become the less and less we seem to work as we are one.
I feel less troubled in my Cornish bubble
But just because I can't see it doesn't mean there's no trouble.
People think I'm a loon when I say I want to move to the moon.
But that's just how this world makes me feel today, like I want to run away.

History repeats.
Why can’t you see?
When It’s so obvious to me.
Anxiety churns in your gut
So you fill up a cup and drink it all up.
History repeating
Why can’t you just see
When it’s so obvious to me.

You will **** yourself.
You will make yourself ill.
Be done with this curse
I really don’t get it
You are a nurse.
Why you can’t see?
What is so obvious to me
History repeating.
You just can’t see what
Is so obvious to me.

Love comes your way,
Why would you want to throw this away?
Both of you should want to stay.
Not destroy your body with boxes of wine
and pretend everything is just fine.
History is repeating
Why cant you see
when it’s so **** obvious to me.

I can see the future.
It’s really not pretty
and that’s such a pity,
That you both can’t see,
What you’re doing to you
and to me.
Please change your fate
Before it becomes too late

There’s a moment of bliss
Just a moment of bliss
Where I don’t remember all this
Why can’t it last
Instead my head fills up fast
I remember that I no longer feel secure
That I no longer feel loved
That I don’t know this person beside me
That I’m only part of one of his lives
Not important enough to be a whole part
But a small part.
These thoughts wake me up
I might aswell give up
Im trying to see through
But I just don’t have a clue

I hate my brain
Especially on days
It causes my eyes to rain
As they release all the pain
Oh I miss the bliss
Of that tender kiss
Stop
Allow no room
For these thoughts
To loom
Stop

I try and get as high as a kite
So I don’t remember the night.
But it’s not working
all my thoughts are lurking
Taking over in the night
And I’m waking in a fright
This isn’t a laugh
Blood in the bath
Why can’t I dream of
Sun on my face with
You in an embrace
Instead I’m lost at a cost
Days go astray and
Frights take over the nights

Your kindness blows me away
I really hope you’re here to stay
Unlike all the rest
You really are the best

I don’t give a ****
If I’ve used all my luck
Because you’re not like all the rest
You really are the best

I love you to bits
And not just for kicks
I try to forget the past
As I don’t have a mask
But you are not like all the rest
You are the very best

I love you and
I will endeavour
to make this
last forever

I want to disappear from life and all it's strife
I want to feel nothing
I don't wanna be me anymore
This is not how I hoped things would be
I want to wake up and feel free
But all I wanna do now is flee from being me
One small word or trigger makes for a loud bang
A punch in the face and happiness is drained leaving no trace
I want to feel love and be safe in this place
I don't want to cry, I want my eyes to stay dry without getting high
Nobody can help, there is nothing that can be done
I'm just wired all wrong
I just gotta hope while i sleep my mind is reset
That I wake up tomorrow with a new beat in my step

Santa is fat
And wears a hat
He gets out of bed
And Puts on all red
To deliver the gifts
To which spirits lift
all done by morning
the whole world still snoring
He thinks as he drinks
How lucky he is
That Being Santa is not boring
And how the whole world adores him

You smashed it all up
Like you don't give a ****
After I built it back up
No desire to clean up
All the pieces so small
Now I can't collect them all
I have no clue what to do
But sit here again with a **** ton of glue

As I lay with you Jay
The world feels less grey
As we play through the day
And make days go astray
I pray that this is more than a play
With facts not acts and
Bends not ends
And that you’re with me Jay
Until the very last day

You split yourself in two
And I didn’t have a clue
I was one and now I’m two
Now I keep a half from you
What you see on the outside
Is not what I’m trying to hide
That’s left eating me up inside

I don’t think Santa wants a whiskey or a G and T
Not by the time he gets to me
I think he’d prefer a Tunnocks and a cup of tea.
All night he’s been drinking
So this is what I’m thinking
A coffee perhaps and a little snack
But nothing that will make him too fat.

The betrayal is hard to swallow
I feel like a stupid ***** tool
Being so easy to fool
Yet none of these feelings
Are going to help me through
Perspective is the way through this
To remember this is a small part
Of a much much bigger dish
That I can not move forward
While still chewing on doubt
I think it’s time to spit it all out

Life may drain from my face
But It’s not that I’m dead
I just go into my head.
When you ask me if I’m ok
I try to relay these thoughts to you
But as I do they go astray.
and fade away.
I just don’t know what to say.
Apart from No I don’t think I’m ok
But don’t know what else I can say.

When I look at you
I think how much I love you
When I look at you
I think how lucky I am to love you
When I look at you
My mind and my body starts to melt
As it tries to hold all it’s felt
When I look at you
Just look at you
I turn to goo

People change
Start off nice
It’s happened to me
more than twice

The halo slips
I’m hoping it’s just a blip
But it slips some more
And ends up on the floor

Promises broke
This has to be a joke!
silence and lies
without any goodbyes

There’s never any Karma
in all this drama
People change
Start off nice
But it’s always me
That pays the price

I hope you are different
I can’t make that mistake again

I think how lucky I am to be able to sit in this space
The sea, the sky, and the wind in my face
How lucky I am to feel the sea at my feet,
the heat of the sun on my skin and the breeze from the sea.
This is the place where I can feel alive and be free.

I want to be a bear in a cave
Not for long
Just til I get strong

I want to lick my wounds
No big deal
Its just until I heal

I want to be left alone
Please don’t moan
I will come home

Just leave me in my cave
Let me be alone to feel
Everything I need to heal
It won’t be long
Until I get strong
and
When the time is right
I will come out

I can't read your silences
I can only fill them in
The blank space, an empty canvas
For my mind to colour in
With all the shades of black and grey
I paint a picture of all the reasons you stay away
With all the darkness I can dream
I fill in all the spaces In between

You said I love you
But I can't stay.
I said ok
but it has to be this way
You said I promise
I said ok
We can find a way.
You broke your promise
I said why?
You said nothing
And left me to cry.

I miss the trust I had for you
I miss living with no doubt
Now Theres nothing but doubt
As I try to work it all out
I miss seeing our future so clearly
And now it’s nothing but blurry
I miss feeling safe
But This is what I have to face
As you knocked us out of place

Take my pills
Make it a habit
Remember to eat
Make it habit
Light the candles
Make it a habit

Do it again
And again
And again

Pills are a tool
Eating is my fuel
Candles burn like
The Fire in my belly  
That can burn out
But I can relight
Every single night

The intrusion I feel
As you step into my home
Like you’ve stripped me bare
And do nothing but stare
I read your eyes and all the smiles
But I know what you’re thinking
That I’m never good enough
I’m a little too rough.

An important friend
So important we’ve never met
What does that make me?

I am me
if you can't except it
please leave me be

A dark mood, like a web
Suffocating the light
Sinking claws, sharp and tight
Tangled waves of dark and light,
Both trying to win the fight.

I’d rather look out my window
at beaches and trees
Than watch men fall to their knees
I’d rather hear waves crashing
Against cliffs
Than hear men using tricks with bricks
To sort out rifts
But this is where I’m living
Men fighting men and
No first aid given
Just dragged across the floor
In an attempt to be hidden
I need to get out of this city
It’s such a pity because
I used to see it as pretty
With dreaming spires
And so much culture
But now all that I see
Is vultures
Making  me want to flee
live by the sea
And finally be free

This is not a relationship
It was only an illusion
A complete delusion
And now all that’s left is
Confusion

I miss the rush of wind on my face
As I’m floating on a boat
In the middle of the sea
This is where I want to be
Looking out to sea
When looking becomes a stare
Wind in my hair
At the top of a cliff
Standing as a close As I dare
Looking out to sea
Wind on my face
Being in the sea
Waves crashing over me
Wind in my face
Looking out to sea
Me, Just being with me

I didn’t think you were capable of any of this
And now I know you are capable of all of this

As I read your final words
Tears flow down my face
I just hope you’ve made it to a better place
On the way you’ve left a trace
Touched so many lives
You gave me a new drive
New fight, new hope
You told me not to mope
You were right when you
Told me to fight
You broke the spell,
Taught me not to dwell.
You may have gone
But the memories live on
You changed my fate
I wish I’d told you all this
And now it’s too late

I wish I could have stopped you
Making this mistake
But now it’s too late
And this is our fate
All I can do it wait
And
Only Time will tell
If we can get through this hell

You shout about my imperfections
So that all the world can see
I smile and shrug it off,
every ****** week.
Until your words seep through
Just a little too deep

You were asked to end this daily show
Where all the acts are all the same
And nothing will ever grow.
Instead of stopping the hurt
You chose words that are curt
And shouted and swore until the curtains came down
Well at least that’s the end of the show

There is no explanation
I just did what I did.
Parties and drink
No time to think
Drown it with ***
I'm out to have fun
Chat to mates
Yeah this is fate!
**** it all up
Until she chucks you up

I am nothing now
So insignificant
Something small
To blow away

I wanted to be part of your life
Not hidden away
while you go and play
I shared my life with you
But in return that was denied
And instead you just lied

I have nothing to give
So I keep it all in.
Keep it locked
so no one can get in.
I'm hard to get to know
So nothing will grow.

I want to be a team again,
To dream again.
The future looks bleak
All alone I will be

I am the broken and
No one has a clue what to do.
No one has strong enough glue.
It's not nice what's inside,
Fragments of broken pieces
And nothing besides.

You like to hold the power
You hold it for months
I wait
You wait
What are we waiting for?

I wish we could start a new
Pretend we haven’t met yet
Start with, how are you?
I wish I could turn the clocks back
Do it all another way
I wish I hadn’t leant on you
With all that weight
You were bound to break
And now you bolt
It’s all my fault
I just wish you would have talked
Before you had walked
Even though I don’t really know
It seems you want me to let you go
I just wish you could tell me so
Face me
Disgrace me
Tell me what you feel
So that both of us can heal

There is nothing I can do,
This is all on you.
You could have made this work
But you chose to be a ****.
To walk away
No care of what I have to say
You can't love enough,
You leave the moment things get tough.
Three times you walk
All I needed was for you to talk.
I think that's enough
To show you don't give a stuff!

I don’t believe in an eye for an eye
Hate breeds hatred
Love breeds love
I know which one I’d prefer to grow
Fight with love
Not with hate
I know which one I’d prefer to know.
Show me who you are
Otherwise we won’t go far

My patience is large
as large as my heart
And now it’s wearing thin
I try so hard to keep it all in
Until it all starts to spill