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JaxSpade Oct 2018
Bet you never wanted to fall
Guess you never wanted to get back up
At all
Your always on the floor
Crawling around
You called me darling
Drunken bones
I heard all your whipsers
Under your breath and tone
I understood the gestures
You couldn't make out
And I bet
You never wanted to fall
Guess you couldn't get back up
At all
You love the floor
More than me darling
Drunken bones
Remember I am listening
And I heard your call
Your always whispering
Something I shout
You've fallen down
You've stumblied in a lime green
avalanche
And you bang at the walls
Covered in a landslide
Darling was the name you called
Bet you never wanted to fall
Guess you never wanted to get back up
At all
Drunken bones
JaxSpade Oct 2018
Free lies
Wont cost you anything…

Except your mind
To believe

In every thing they achieve

They paid for your eyes
To think what they see
Paying you blind
Thinking it was free

Free lies
You took
Because they were free

And you couldn't afford
The truth of reality

You were sold on the cost
That paid for your thoughts

And you believe what taught
Your gullibility

Free lies
Turn on the TV
And don't think for your self

Just believe
JaxSpade Jun 2020
I'm seeing polka dots when I close my eyes.

Darkness holding each dot in place.

No colors.

White on Black together complementing existence.

When I open my eyes, there are no polka dots but I'm seeing the same thing.

They keep telling me what I see is impossible.
JaxSpade Dec 2019
Beauty is in the eye of the mind

Even if you're blind
You could see inside
How the heart could be a prize

Underneath the paint
Beyond the canvass
Where the textures were born
And where the true colors harvest

Beauty is the state of mind
That keeps the beholder honest

It is the true love that gives regardless
Of what the outside world ponders as flawless
JaxSpade Oct 2018
On the other side of the candle
Lives an image of my Father
Who looks like me
Atoms and water
I can see him
Behind the flickers
In the ripples
Of prayers
Like an otter
floating on the darkest harbors
Behind that candle
Is the maker
Our Mother
I am not like him
I'm smaller
And my skin is so different
Than others
On the other side of the candle
I see her
Staring at me through the flame
That burns taller
An image of a human looking
Similar
But smarter
I wanted to be like him
It was much harder
So I'm stuck with me
My last barter
To God the Father
On the other side of the candle
Have mercy on my image
For my Mother and my daughters
JaxSpade Aug 2018
I need money
And all its tummy
I need to be fed
but it's running
And I'm broke instead
And I'm broke
Again
I've lost my cents
And due is rent
All I've worked
Is spent
I've prayed for help
But my God can't
I need money
More than him
Because on earth here
I owe men
My itchy hands
And devious plans
Fight for ways
To get my ends
I need money
To survive plan B
I just wish it had
The need for me
JaxSpade Mar 2019
The moon cried spades
Tears of black
Fell on hearts attacked
With space
All the stars glowed faith
In the milkiest way
Spinning galaxies faster
Than my chase
The Sons reflection
Glowing in the nights complexion
Reminded me of my direction
And why those tears fall in pain
A puddle of spades
In the deck of cards played
On life's gamble for survival
Of the fittest out of shape
The moon cried spades
And alphabets committed crimes
With metaphors and paint
Everything spoke was said
In thousands of different ways
And it was read
Not yellow
In the marshes mellow
For the moon cried spades
In shapes of black arrows
That fell onto mother earths face
God shuffled the deck
And dealt me a Jax
Though tucked in my sleeve was the Ace
JaxSpade Aug 2018
Losing touch
The way it used to feel
Skin and flesh
Heart against breast
Tongue on tongue
        Legs in knots

                 Side by side
Together we crushed
The way it used to feel
When you wouldn't listen
                 To anyone else

And we did whatever we'd want

                        Out of touch
we lost
When we were in
                              So much

Because you wanted something
                                             More

                     Than us
JaxSpade Oct 2018
Wrapped up in a cocoon
With rainbows and the afternoon
A butterfly sleeps
Awaiting the day her colors bloom

She dreams of flight
And soon
It all will become true
As long as she can wake up

Soon

But the days never penetrated
Through the shell she laid within
And her body became a puddle
Soaking in the colors and grim

Her life as a caterpillar
Was all that would ever been

A butterfly sleeps forever
But I'll always remember
The way she inched
JaxSpade Dec 2019
The loving nature of this earth
Provides us never-ending love
Yet humans abuse her gift
And they are destroying all she gives
Her beautiful face lays battered
As she loves us unconditionally

Shouldn't we love her back unconditionally
And take care of our lovely earth
We could save her from the batter
And fall into the deepest love
All we have to do is give
For she surely deserves this gift

We all like to receive gifts
And to give them unconditionally
Everyone has something they could give
To the reception of our earth
There is a plethora of love
Even for a world so battered

Bullied, bruised, and battered
Seems to be the common gifted
Where is the abundance of love
To share with our planet unconditionally
Poor mother earth
Begging for us humans to give

Reach deep in your heart and give
For no mother should be battered
All men should love this earth
And the creation of God's gift
As he loves us unconditionally
We too can share this love



It is written, God is love
And it has always been his nature to give
For he first loved us unconditionally
Let us never succumb to satan's battering
But rather receive Gods blessing and gift
With open arms we shall love our earth

Love should never be battered
Give our mother a gift
Of unconditional love for earth
JaxSpade Nov 2018
I died in the moment I lived for
They tried to resuscitate me
Pumping my chest hard

Air
Air
Air

C P R

The moment passed
I was laying on the floor
I opened my eyes and saw the sky fall

Air
Air
Air

I coughed up a lung
And the world stared

I should've been dead
But instead
I lived for


Another moment
JaxSpade Sep 2018
The girl with her nose in the error was Miss Take
JaxSpade Mar 2019
Deeper the knife
        Went deeper

          I felt the pull
Sharp like a bullet

Deep wound
    Casualties

In what kind of war

Somebody was screaming
But no one knew what for

Deeper the knife
        Went deeper

I felt the pull

Diggin into my t-shirt
And through my pulse

Deep deep
       Wound
Bleeding me out

In what kind of cold

     It felt like I was freezing
When the knife was pulled

Out.
          Floor
JaxSpade Apr 2019
I'm just a scratch on the record
I'm just a skip on your cd
I'm just an 8 track effort
With a song that's never played

No one hums my tune
No one looks for my treble
And no one cares for my bass

I'm just an old b song
In a phonograph h cylinder
That no one wants to play
JaxSpade Mar 2020
I found your shoe
That left your foot ****
And my thoughts of you
So bare

It left me craving true
Loving who
Would make them a pair

If i could find the eyes
That danced with mine
Before the time ran away

I would give her a happy ending
Instead of pretending
This was a fairy tale

We made
JaxSpade Jun 2020
Dear Diary
I need something to inspire me
I'm just too plain
And no one knows my name
Or desires it

I haven't any friends
Just my pen
And what ever I write
No one cares

Man

I need something to inspire me
Someone to desire me
Dear diary

Your the only one
That listens to me

But what I need is some inspiration
Something to help my motivation

Because I lack all it takes to be
Successfully making it

Dear Diary
I need something to inspire me
And set me on fire D

I need some inspiration
But i can't find the invitation
Someone must have misplaced it

What's going to drive my thoughts
My heart
My soul
To write down something
Better than this bull

****

Dear diary
Are you tired of me
Begging for inspiration

Like a baby
I'm not patient
For breast milk

I'll cry
Until I *** the ******

Dear Diary
I was hoping something
Would inspire me
I guess I'll be retiring
But it was fun trying here
Anyway

Perhaps
I should try

Inspiring you
JaxSpade Jun 2019
The length of her legs
Were miles

She had the longest

Smiled
At me

She walked like a Jaguar
With a foxy physique
And It made me harder
Than masculinity

She slid
and slipped
                    By

dipped and sighed

Then left  her perfume
Right at my feet

The scent of this woman

Was a lion prowling
                       for roses

Pouncing on every motion
During the chase

In her mouth
The meat of her prey
Dripped oceans

Into the deepest abyss


I was left on the bottom

And the only way to get up
Was to climb the longest legs
Were miles

She had the longest
Smiled at me

The way she walked
Made me bark
And gave me a leash
JaxSpade Aug 2019
Out in the water

I swim
    paddle
         scoop

Arm over arm

Wading
In the
Deep

I am a frog
Disguised in a prince

And she's the darling
Who came out for a swim

Arm in arm
Over

Waiting for the kiss

That would ever change
Me from what I was

To what she wished
JaxSpade Apr 2019
Poetry is..
My battered heart
And broken brain

My soul on a stick burning pain

Poetry is..
My tears ink
My blood flow
My lungs breath

Everything my eyes see

Poetry is.. all

It's all of me

In every angle
In every thing

Poetry is..
The song I sing

The notes I read
The cuts I bleed
Its the love I please

Poetry is..
The world

             I live
          To be
JaxSpade Mar 2020
You're too beautiful to cry
What man did this to your eyes

Would you allow me to try
To put a smile inside

Because
If I could squeeze in some love on the side

Those tears would disappear
And stay clear
If you allowed me to apply

My kind
  Of love
JaxSpade Jun 2019
The past
passed

After it dragged
And dragged

My body
Pulled by the rope of tomorrows

Pulled me through all kinds of towns
And different scenarios

The past
Passed

And everything that was...

Had

The future  had the last laugh
That began with my embryo

Ever since that first day
The past left me behind
After it tied me to tomorrow

And it dragged  me through the mud
Mangling my body
and spilling my blood
Breaking my bones
And carving out the marrow

The past
Passed

I had wondered
How long it'd last

It stayed

Until the passed
Past

Was gone
JaxSpade Apr 2019
I could still taste your perfume
               And below your waist
Still lingers in scent with my morning         pancakes

Your moans and pleasures still echo in the chambers of my ears

They still pierce the scratches on my back
     Every deep ******
You passionately dug

Made me last longer
    Than I ever could

           And your eyes
  tattooed on to mine
  with a pain
That hurts so good
         It felt so right

The intimate gazing
             at your body

Every crack
           crevice and naughty

Playing my fingers

Yeah I could still taste the words you whispered
My ears still drip off your tongue
                                And wimpers

I'm trying to eat my breakfast
But I can't wait for my dinner

Because you're my night desert
And under your skirt
My imagination flirts
With your ******* pressed against
My girth

I'm in love with every syllable you blurt
And my insatiable lust beckons
To be the poetry of your heart
JaxSpade Feb 2019
I lit a fire
In the nights iris

And upon a star
I cast a thought

I
wished

It burned in the flames
Of the atomspheric change
While the temperature rained
My sweat

Into the ashes
My dust to dust went

For my oxygen lost the wind
As I melted in flesh

I lit the fire
But it was my desire
That conspired
With my lust

Witch tempted me
To jump in
Gasoline
And burn what I was
JaxSpade Jun 2020
You don't have to feel like a new creature
To be a new creature

You see what I'm sayin'

Change is a progress
It's a motion that takes time
To get where it's goin'

But it's growing
Be patient
You don't have to feel like a new creature
To behave good

Just work
Toward a better future
Sew the sutures
With a needle & twine

The fabric of the mind
Is a stitch in time
Everything seams to peace together
Just fine

The new you
Develops a feature
And everyone could see
The new creature

Even though you still have a long way to go

Just remember
You don't always have to feel
Like a new creature

To be one
JaxSpade Apr 2019
You dimmed the lights
As I crawled toward your eyes
I found your lips first
And they sank inside mine
We created a moment
Separated from time

Without any clothes on our minds

As we tangled in bedsheets
In moans and mimes
Our passion plunged deeper
With thrusts and drives

You said come deeper

                            In me
                           Inside

And never let go of my eyes
JaxSpade Apr 2020
The night fell
She
Let down her hair
I saw
The way she looked
At me
When I stared
I couldn't help myself
The night fell
And I caught a star
That shot across the universe
When she looked up
The night fell
Like a blanket
It covered in a dark
Statement
But all I saw
Was a silhouette of her
And a shadow of her form
I looked with my hands
And I felt her in
My palms
The night fell
She did
I swear
Right into my arms
JaxSpade Jul 2019
I've been talking in my sleep
Walking
Before I wake
Inbetween my sheets
I shake
Nightmares
Terrorize the peace
Of me I need

To dream
Is to speak
In a world obsolete
From being

I've been talking in my sleep
Tossing and turning
The other cheek
When I get beat
I bruise easily

Sleep walking
In my sleep
I began dreaming
In my dream
Waking up
Shaking sweat
Beads

Now now there
Close your eyes
The night in terror
Is awake
Yet your asleep
Walking around
Me
Staring at the ceiling

I'm only dreaming
About my
Dreams about my feet
Walking around
My sleep
I'm in a night mirror
Looking at me
JaxSpade Oct 2018
The night crept into his eyes
They were dark lights
Shining on neon
Glowing fluorescence bright

They were purple
Reflecting white skirts
Short and tight

His ears were techno
And he danced in the trance
Strobed in kaleidoscope windows

His soul was inside

And there she danced
In a mirror ball
With her tongue on a tab
And her hands embracing alcohol

She was lost to find

The night was still crawling
And they were stars falling
Out of the sky


Landing on a bed of dark matter
They glowed in a black hole
That grab their earth
And spat her
Towards a new universe

Then the night crawled out of his eyes
And said goodbye
As the new days came
To welcome their life
JaxSpade Jan 2019
The snow fell at my door

A cold friend
Made me shiver

Underneath snowflakes

Freezing summer

I held some
In my hands

A snowman
In the garden

A cold friend
The wind blew in

Knocking at my door

But I'm not going to
Let him in

Because I'm inside
Warm
JaxSpade May 2019
The odd shadows
Of a dim neighborhood
Filled with broken windows
And stolen goods

I left my heart on the table
It was gone
But my wallet was still there
I had already emptied it

So i was forced to sell my soul
The devil didn't want it
And my God just ignored

I tried peddling it on the darkened streets
On every corner where they hustle
It wasn't worth much
And I was only asking for a nickel

Behind the shadows
Under the beckoning cloak
I see the the theives wandering
Around the world

They've taken everything from me
But left me my soul
I couldn't pawn its value
Or sell the *****

So i walk this timeline
With nothing else
But a worthless soul
That never sells
JaxSpade Dec 2019
Here goes nothin'

Something


Farewell to flesh


My rotting sole

My rotten soul


Every where I used to walk

Now where will I

Go


Am I just a ghost

Shrieking through walls

Drinking boos

And suffering wrongs


Here goes nothin'

Something

For the cause


Where will I live

If I don't


What kind of mind

Was installed


Who am I really

If I was at all


Here goes nothin'

Something


For the world


And is it worth

A street of gold


Farewell to flesh

And my liquid soul

For every paid interest

It cost a fool


Here goes nothin'

Something


For the rules


If there weren't any

What would I do


One

Around


Farewell my skin

My eyes within

No more wrinkles

Or time to hold


Here goes nothin'

Something


What I know


Compared to the one

Who made it all


Farewell to creation

You better not fail


If you do

No one will care


Know


Here goes farewell

Nothing

Something of my flesh

For a never-ending goal


Here goes nothin'

Something
JaxSpade Jan 2019
As we search for greed
We fail to abnegate
Because we lust for needs

And as we vacillate inbetween
Desire and ephemeral peace
We advocate the disease

Feelings of wistfulness
Become more vociferous
When we fail to possess the pristine

Selfishness consumes wealth and wish
And sacrifices Truth

And when that offering plate comes around
We never account for what's due

In God we trust
On every dollar we purchase
In search for the sickness
Of our doom
JaxSpade Jul 2019
In my lap
Milk in a saucer
I'm the cat
That killed curiosity
Before it could attack

In my head
Board in my bed
Knocking against the walls
Nothing to do
But fall to sleep
I'd rather dream
Than fiend for something
That'll never be
In my hands

In my brain
My soul complains
It's trapped
In the flesh of my heart
Aches

It begs for a heaven
But hell if it knows
Where that is

In my end
It begins
To create
A lifes death
So it could live

I turn on the dark
So I could see the light
Switch

And the root of all money
Scratches my palms funny
For the price of evil
Only costs a man
JaxSpade Mar 2019
Traveling down that ghost town
Tumbling through the weeds
I'm nothing like a cowboy
And I haven't a gun to sling


I'm just an old man lost
In what's left of sanity


I'm wearing old kicks
On a dusty road ghost town
I've got a crack in my lips
From the sun beaten on down

I need a place to rest
But no one is around
I cannot find a bed
So I'll settle for a campground


I'm just an old man lost
In what's left of sanity


I found an old saloon
With a ghost serving whiskey
And he dared to impugn
Why I was so thirsty

He kept pouring more rounds
At my requests to hurt me
I was the only one in town
And like me it was emptied


I'm just an old man lost
In what's left of sanity



Drunken in walk
I fell into my cot
My fire burned out
So I laid in the dark

Staring at the stars
I was the loneliest scar
Lost in a ghost town
With vacant bazaars


I'm just an old old man
Lost
In what's left
       Of Sanity
JaxSpade Mar 2020
It was a picture she painted
She held in her arms
Corner to corner

A picture of a cat
Staring into a lonely old road

Was I the cat
   Or the road

I told her to leave it on the wall
It was a work of art
And It made everyone who saw it
Feel again

The poetry it read
Was a bouquet of words interpreted
By the imagination of each photograph

She left it on the wall

But it was more than just a decoration

Especially
If you're the road
JaxSpade Jul 2019
On the fourth of
Jewel eyes
Red in her blue
Whites
Turquoise diamonds
Exploding in the skies
I'm in love with my country
She makes me feel loved
When I wave my flag
I'll pay the tax
If you stab my back
When I stand for the Anthem
When the fires crack
And the m-80s blast
I kiss her face
Of the fourth of
Jewel's eyes
Such a lovely patriot
Proud of our Nation
American tasty pie
Red in her blue
Whites
I'm in love with my country
When I stare in her lovely
Jewel eyes
JaxSpade Aug 2018
The date
On the calendar of fate
Is when we made the mistake
Of thinking it was so great

Turned out to be just another day
Nothing special  or extra ordinary

Just a number that states
The next day advancing
             At a 24 hour rate

                      It's meaning less
Than what you gave its name

                                  Meaningless
To the one who wished it away

     Today is just another day
That reminds me of the way
You couldn't care less
         Of what it meant
JaxSpade Feb 2020
Is it so hard to love
To give
More than enough
To live for
God

Is it so hard
To believe
You were bought
So you could willingly slave for the Lord
And reprogram your robot

You were a thought
God sought
For his army of justice

Yeah
It's just us

Is it so hard to love your neighbor
Love your enemies
And labor for the love

Yes
It is

So hard

When you're flesh and human

To love
The habitat
That manufacturers demons

After the Good
Went bad
We became Man
And Woman

Now
it's so hard to love
When it's so much easier

To give up
JaxSpade Nov 2018
I made a mistake
I meant to be perfect

But I colored outside the lines
On purpose

I crossed the line
That meant to keep the lines inside

Because I'm not supposed to do it
JaxSpade Aug 2019
The triangle ate himself into a circle
Because people told him he was too square
And they meant the informal definition
So he kept eating to change his shape
He added a few pounds that multiplied his weight
But that didn't help
He wanted to be wondrous
Why couldn't he have been a rhombus
Why couldn't he have been born into a parallelogram family
I saw him sulking in the fact he was half the diagram
I told him he needed to go on a diet
And strengthen himself  into a pyramid
And only then would his base be the foundation
Of the family
He has always wanted
JaxSpade Sep 2018
Rose beetle
             Emerald shine
Grape and raspberry
             Flying my kite

             In my sky

             Shimmering
                               Sun
Flashes
Of Japanese

               ~ Milky
                           Spore ~

Beautiful
Destruction
                        Pestful
                          Horde

In this world of pyrethirn
                                      
                                        Swim
                                              In
                                              Drown
JaxSpade Dec 2018
What does the night sky hold
In its head
Above the stars hanging
On the walls of his breath
I saw one shine unto a light
Put forth before I step
Into the oddness of a every normal
Pile of ****

The sky of the night does what
Ever the moons says
Talking about the sun
And all the days he reflects

What tommorow brings
is the mystery you can't solve
Till it is

Every day you say you're going
To change
but the only thing that changes
Is what you meant

What you meant to say
Is that the changes that take place

Change
because they're different
Than the same thing that used to be before every thing changed it

The night sky changes what it holds in it hands
Comets and cosmic droplets
Of ultraviolet radiation

Somewhere in the human
Blood and oxygen
Consumes this universe
In a race for selfishness

Maybe one day
The night sky could change
The way it pays the day
Its darkness

And when we come to the end of the
Page
We could read one hundred
in the corner of the pages
Percent
But what we really need to change is the way we came to the end and Calculated
The fate of our death
JaxSpade Aug 2018
I found it on bottom of a box
It looked like a bird of solid rock
As a dove flew by
Resembling the look
It dropped an olive branch
On my Ark
I was floating my boat
In the depths of hope
I knew I should have kept the box closed

But I looked
JaxSpade Sep 2018
Runway
Strutting legs

Walking out calligraphy
      Write down your girl

Pout and pace the crowd

                   You're a model

Shake those bones
Everyone is looking
                          At you

  Checking you out
To see how perfect
        You could look

Posture think tall
    Hips sway dolls

Let your arms swing natural

              Attitude

              And never look down

        Slide those heels on
And stride the cats walk

You're not just any pen
                 You're a model
JaxSpade Sep 2018
Party on the moon
In the sunlight strobe
The stars are dancing a trillion grooves

Pulsars and quasors

          Galactic dudes
        Supernova girls

On the blackhole dance floor

       Starlights and planet kites
Flying in the universe's height
               They're aint no fights
                                           Here
  Just bodies crushing
Rotating and blushing
                       Energies

All this magnetic
Gravitational static
    Arcing electricity

There's a party on the moon
     Why are you still on earth

Come join this galaxy
    In a loving allegory

Take the next rocket
To moons eye socket
The party had already started

                    And it never ends
                                      Always
JaxSpade Apr 2020
Dash me
Against
The rocks

Pour me over the ice cold
Throb
And tilt me back

Swallow me
And fill your dizzy head

Draw the x's over my eyes
Remind me, my name

And by the way
I forgot yours

Tell me

Should I stay
Here
JaxSpade Sep 2018
Pencils
            I need

Commit to nothing

I can cHANGE my mind
nothings inked

I can trace the lines
It wont bleed

Pencils
            I need

Erase the memories
I can chAnge the time

Or me

Pencils

Erase the whole **** thing
JaxSpade Mar 2019
I framed my picture
Even though he was innocent
I painted him the culprit

Responsible for crimes

I've committed
I'm committed

To hanging it on the wall
Where everyone could see what I once was

Before I was
Framed at all

It was all my fault

You could fast forward
rewind
Or pause

Even though he was innocent
I framed my picture
For what he was

I made it look like
It was all his fault

Because I needed someone to blame
For all I've done

So I framed my picture

           And myself hung
JaxSpade Sep 2018
when I saw you in my dream
I felt your love
But it disappeared
When I awoke

Everything you said
Close to me
Everything you did
Felt so real

I want to go back to sleep
But I wont
Because I know
You're not real

Ever could you be here
In this world

Dreams never come true
For me here

I'm a dead man
Walking in shoe
Dieing in the thoughts
Of his truth

When you entered
My dream
All I could think
Is how could
I have you

But as I awake
You faded away
From being my girl

I want to go back to sleep
But I wont
Because I know
It's not true

I could ever have a woman
That loves me too
JaxSpade May 2019
The bed you lie in
Determines your sleep
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