I am lost and wandering.
Like an animal, i fled the scene,
but she caught me.
shes vengeful and focused.
She found all of my secrets
most of them are more than hidden now,
behind itchy whiskers and soft meows.
my soul still lives though!
and i am haunted by my humanity
and my slippery grip on sanity
is disappearing.
slowly but surely
slowly but surely
s l o w l y
s u r e l y.

there is no time like the present,
they say, with no real meaning.
the only thing being that for most life doesnt seem
like a living age.
for me it was like a prison,
walls quickly moving ever inward; a shrinking cage.
and then there was you.
smiles for days, as if the happiness never ended
and when it did, tearful gazes that left me winded.
you are the oceans current, forever giving,
and whenever your name massages my mind
i feel as if i have nothing but space and time.

She didnt mean to do it.
but she relished in her talent.
the puddle of beauty surrounded her.
deep red and mesmerizing, like a late sunset.
staining clothes and skin alike; dry, wet.
his ruby soul spilling quietly
as his breath slowed.
making a wish on his very last grip
she reached her hand into the crimson reflective pool
and licked her trembling lips.

When i die, don't cry for me.
Know that I've been fighting
For an eternity.

I may have lost my life
But i never lost sight of those that
Truly loved me.

This is not about them.
They could not mend my pieces.
They are removed from my service.

Just remember the joy I tried to bring.

When i think of your eyes

and how they sparkle with kindness,

i am reminded, gently,

that we are made

from star stuff.

tension you can split
with the tip of your tongue
because thoughts of you linger
in places
they should not.
a warm hand resting on my thigh
inching up ever-so-slowly,
like it may never reach its
intended
destination.
So, i
breathe in - deep.
And i
bite my bottom lip
because we will meet.

"Let's love now," She whispered into his ear.
Their embrace was tight and filling.
They sparked and crackled
Despite the cold world reminding them
That they were broken - too many missing pieces.
But in that single warm moment
He was whole.

right now.
every day.
forever.
the timbre of your voice echoes
through my haunted mind
and its a series of very distinct sounds.
passionate, depriving, and when in the throes,
beautifully reminiscent of those times
when i had someone
right then.
every day.
whenever.

Locked away for safety
Or from a lack of courage.
Its clear that she is all wrong;
Has hit a point of damage
Past fixing.
Now shes just looking
For a soft place to drown.

you are, what they call,
a man that wants for others.
and i, among the rest, are lucky
to call you friend.

and for the one
who gets to call you lover, in the end,

i take pride in knowing

that i can do more than satisfy.

i know that with my lips,

with my hands,

i could build a man,

like you,

from a peasant

into a king.

I would treasure every part of you,

the parts she always misses,

with eye locked caresses

and moan covered kisses.

and after that,

id dip into your psyche

to tempt

and tame

the lion

that no one knows exists.

submission is the only option
in her twisted world.
at least thats what she convinces herself
while his hand climbs between her *******
and curls, tightly,  around her neck

its never painful.
at least thats how she feels.
well, not this part.
the pain comes from her silence
but here, in this naked moment, she is heard.

Neverending, beautiful,
And if you look far enough
Into the abyss
You can see it.

Nature's wild affair; the ocean kissing moonlight, the creamy Milky way,
and a billion twinkling lives.

Some would say your soul could compare. That we are all universes
In our own right.

But, i still exist in awe of gaia's magic.
Her science. Her godly work.
The night, her gift, belongs to lovers;
To us.

i cant sleep* she whispered.
she thought that meant something,
like maybe she misplaced her need;
but he always seemed to find it
hidden sweetly between her knees.

I just missed you last night.
Last year's first rain in late October
you and I spent the whole night
Opening each other.
It was the first time that
I felt like we really loved each other
and connected on a level  
I had never thought I could with another.
I just missed you.
Being next to you,
feeling your warmth,
hearing your heart beat.
Tasting your breath.
I remember us when
we were beautiful together and that
makes letting go so much harder

I pine to feel your lips on mine.
Your smile buried between my open thighs; my fingers grip pillows while yours slide in and out, expertly, as if you've always played this instrument.

And you constantly perform this piece to perfection.

an old song is like taking another's history
and holding it forever.
mulling it over; the words, the sound, the fever.
your soul shaping it into pearl or coal
depending on those memories
depending on your memory
depending on how he sang those words
when they slipped into your subconscious
and decided to stay without your consent.
his songs; still haunting with every single listen.

that i love
the wrong
all of the time

my heart beats, or pumps,

and i realize ---

that love is breathing inside me

no matter how desperately

i try to hide it.

if you are crazy
you must do all things the same
and expect a change

"You deserve this," he whispered
while he examined her position:
humbly displayed across his desk,
wrists tied back in submission
her *** exposed by a

short
black
skirt.

She heard his calculated footsteps,
and felt his penetrating gaze,
before his ridged hand traced
over her warm cinnamon flesh
inspiring eager goosebumps

as if her skin had intimate knowledge
of a future threat, sending visible shivers
down her spine. Leather slipped quickly
through cloth with purpose, a loophole to ecstasy,
awaiting them both.

eyes
slid
shut

and that first lash was glorious.
blinding pleasure intensified
by pulsating moans from her base.
Each loud spank brought her closer
to the only death one ever awakes from.

In the end he was breathless.
and she was bruised.
they both left the room without words
feeling complete, for a short while,
and pleasantly used

There once was  a God;

he did not know how to love,

but then he made her.

These trenches are dark, wet, and deep
but She reminded me that the sea
was never a mystery.

She told me that the world was at my
fingertips; i just had to reach forward,
open my eyes, and see.

When i took her hand, the water froze.
All motion halted, as this Gaia revealed
that this was nativity.

There's this joke
I forget how it goes.
No wait, its life.
Everyone laughs until we die.

Nothing is funnier than
My desperation to heal.
Forever damaged, trying
To cover my wounds like
A piece of alluminum foil
Too small to reach the edges
Of the bowl.

Ripping and tearing,
Falling apart. Caged in
A tank. Swimming with sharks.
Why am i alive? To feel this pain
It seems. Its the only thing
that feels real to me.

The pieces of me that love you entirely
are wholesome and wretched.
But you will never see them.
I am just around.

"I feel myself falling..."
She whispered to him while he laid there,
Seemingly sleeping.

Her hands wandering aimlessly across him like a coy traveler on ****** islands.

"I know" he thought
While the night costumed her, sweetly.
He always reached for her
Warmly playing

Landing  soft kisses on her shoulder as if shed never been tasted  there before

The world, as they knew it, ended there
in each other's arms.
A black hole of hope, despair or both
Only they could tell,

Enveloping them whole.  and for a split second all the light had gone

But see, the universe expands
As impassioned collisions of young stars
Tend to brighten their glow.
Always as above, so below.

He leaves pieces of himself every where.
Cigarettes on shelves, clothes scattered on floors, and broken halves of his heart buried within her; deeper than he could know.

She remembers songs she replayed over and over before she ever felt him. Warm green eyes twinkle in her memory, torturing a  heart that might never let him go.

They both lay awake, alone, trying to figure  how they loved so strongly once and why the lightening crashed down, a sign from the Gods, to destroy everything beating below.

falling has never been so effortless.
i felt the wind in my hair, the lump in my throat,
and his quickening pulse.
the silence was welcomed and inevitable just like his eyes,
a calm dewy green meadow during the sunrise,
what was there left to say?
i  am damaged, he is broken;
wholeness didnt seem like an option
before he held me underneath that diamond sky.
and now its all i think about,
a whirlwind of cosmic anomalies starting with shooting stars
and ending with an ache so deep i swear i felt the earth sigh.
standing there, between sordid history and a bright red beginning
"i think," she says pacing every heartbeat
"this feels right."

She reached for her savior  - a small and subtle release that would end all the ferrous pitter-patter in her brain.  as she placed, what she considered sweet fae in a world of demon,  in to her ears, she breathed deep and heavy - broken and ready.  

this love never let her down. the glorious sounds of others pain, love, heartbreak and triumph streamed into her blood system before heading right to her heart while she forgot all that was ever wrong with her beautiful existence .

I wonder if he thinks of me.
If the image of my smile-lit face
Brings him some kind of pleasure.
If when we touch, the memory lingers

I often wonder about him.
What his lips would feel like craving
my eager body, ready when hes willing,
Soaking up every ounce of joy i had to give.

I imagine that he thinks of us, on occasion
Finding all the sweet parts of me in unknown spaces - just our secret
Holding each other to an oath of only flesh.

I hope he learns how much i can endure.
How the initial sting melts into arrousal.
Light is lacking in the places id let him go.
It would be so satisfying to finally know.

That dewy night, the rain drops awakened
our reality with their sweet tune. We were
curled deeply into each other. Every motion
an expression of love already pledged.

Our giggles painted adorable pictures
attached to  future nostalgia; emphasizing
the steady truth: the search was finally over.
And even as we basked in weighted times  

We illicit joy from one another.
In hot blooded moments when your eyes
rake my body and that warmth feels just
like your lips against my skin;

Those times when i can feel your heart beat
through my consciousness. because your
rough hands have tuned me to your sound
and now its all i want to hear

No one ever tells you
that the little things will stick.

The sound of his voice when he was stern.
The feeling of his large hands on my arms.

The smell of his aftershave clinging to me
after every forced hug. He always held on too tightly.

Suffocating my being. Squeezing pieces of my heart
out of every single pore.

Outlining the existing cracks in my soul.
And now, he smiles, while I remain stuck.

I want so badly
To love myself.
To feel worthy
To feel understood.
No one will ever hold you
The way you cradle your self worth

And i am worth the moon and back.
With every dimpled smile
With every inch of this brown skin
I can be warmth personified.
I will fight for my love;

For my family
For my friends
And finally for myself.

I am the reason the sun rises.
A goddess of hope in your presence
Here to support your dreams
To remind you that you are dear.
I am empath, warrior, queen.

And even when im broken - jagged
Pieces of my heart stuck together
With bits of gold - i am still a prize
Not to be won
But to be experienced.

Someone youll never forget .
Someone youll forever regret losing.
So, Keep me close.

"Do you trust me?" She wispered in his ear.
While she snaked around his body and
pulled him closer.
his heart beat quickened.
Her transparent intent; to slate.
Her hands tilting his neck to the side, mouth hovererd menacingly above flesh.
Four little words and a world at stake.
And as she wrapped around him
In this visibly vunerable state;
All she wanted to know was
If he had faith.

"What is it you miss," He asked her.
She rubbed her hands together in thought,
"I miss how it felt, how it tasted...to be

In love feels invincible; tastes like the gods have touched down on the tongue and caressed it with their best honey mead.

Exiting love feels like leaving a sweet warm house, where futures and families happily mingle, into harsh rainy weather.

I miss feeling protected in his arms.  he could have kept the rest of him hidden. But, then, that wouldn't have been true"

The chamber is empty
But I promise to fill it
To jumpstart the ending.
Just remember me, well;
you dodged a bullet
Even with your help
I couldn't save me.

Where is the shame?
Why do i still want you?
Why do i crave your name dripping
Off of my skin?

I still ache to bear your marks.
I need that sweet tension to break.
To be bitten, used, yours.
One last time.

I remember the sweet smell
Of hopeful tension floating between us.
Lips inches away from one anothers.

A kiss was imminent. his hands inched up my body until they reached my shoulders while he looked me in the eyes. Sharing the same breath

That carried the most important words. So close to me, stroking my being with one hand and grasping on to my heart with  the other

"I need you"

...one more time...

"Ive been thinking about you"

...Please...more

"I want you"

What more could a girl see?

when i first met you
i knew we would be written in ink.
that youd leave me breathless
and id lead you to water.

I knew i could never make you drink
i knew we would end each other
and our endings, they would play
over and over in my head

I knew youd pull me open
but i still jumped in.
and tearing bits of you out of me
is much harder than youd ever think.

I think about you all the time
But especially times like these;
the twilight hours.
The moments when you would be
Cozied up behind me,
Taking deep breaths,
Tightening your grip,
Bringing me closer to your heat,
Telling me, with your body,
That I am yours.
That you are mine.
That we belong..
That we are doing the work
Of the divine;
Caring solely for eachother,
Healing one another.
And as I drift further into you,
I am possessed
By words and images..
Thoughts I'm scared to imagine
But cannot ignore.
Because you are my muse
And these are the confessions
 of the Inspired.

I felt myself step off the cliff.
A firm footed decision into the unknown.
I never, for a second, thought
That i wouldnt get caught.

The damage is done.
A failed attempt at healing; Its irreparable.
Laughter drowned out the crises
And now im in puzzle pieces.

Love is a word too often used.
Squandered on meaningless moments
or never truly offered,
so, we play it safe.

"I like you...a lot"
"I miss you...all the time."

Phrases allowing us to close the distance
between our hearts, slowly,
with well timed words instead of touch.

But when we are near each other,
when our bodies reunite,
I feel as if its a bit more than "like,"

a firm, rough hand on warm, tender lips
igniting an inferno of need always smoldering
right underneath our skin.

And even when you go,
pieces of your soul linger in the air;
sweet smelling drops of memory reminding me that
I haven't felt anything like this before
and leave me aching for so much more.

What do you do when the sky darkens around you?
When the wind picks up, and the stars disappear?
Head inside. Get into the safety of hearth; of home.
Bury yourself in the warmth of the lies you keep.

He was air.
He had atmosphere.
Occasionally arrid, stiff yet
Kind. Sweet like a soft breeze on a hot day carrying the scent of a memory.

She was water.
The earths blood.
The forever giving and desperately taking. An angry crash or a seductive wave caressing the sand at your feet.

They were a storm.
Tempestous and beautiful.
Mixed up in each other's make up. Mirrioring one another.
Trying to understand which color to mimic, which shape to become. Still They attempt to map each other but can't actually predict the weather.
And they never stop trying.

"Who left those holes in you?"
She simply asked the moon
As if the answer wasn't clear
As if he weren't sitting there
On the other side of her earth.

"Did you have good intentions?"
He asked, as if she could do him
Any reasonable harm. As if she could
Slip into his heart unnoticed.
As if she appeared there at all.
The gall of his question.

"Did i mean something to you?"
She replied. Tears filling her eyes
She already knew the answer.
But it no longer mattered.
She always paled in comparison.

He confirms it in the things he says
and how he looks at me,
that i am too round near my base
and too heavy on my feet.

that maybe I'm too insecure
and a bit too damaged to be here;
and i guess thats what i have to hear
to recognize i dont belong near.

i thought maybe i found my heart
but i was far too eager to share
and now im lost and falling apart;
too destroyed to care.

Truths as thick as the tension.
Theres nothing like a new beginning.
But first you wade through an ending.

And ours was glorious. A roller coaster of intentions. Ups and wrongs. Disastrous and necessary. And now the closing act.

My gut has never been so wrenched. Fake death has never been better acted. You pretended for so long. To care must be tragic.

You must eat your words with a side of honey salt to keep them from rotting when they finally exit.

i wish i was one of those girls.
the ones people fight to be around.
the Cleopatras and Helens of troy;
beautiful
unforgettable.

i always fall short though,
and it never fails to break me down
and i always become their toy.
used up
regretting it all .

Is that one day,
You will meet a woman who fills your heart, unexpectedly;
And it wont be me.

"Have you ever been devoured?
Body and soul?"

He asked with hungry eyes.

She looked away at first; coy.
Attempting to ignore the naturally heated ties.

Then her gaze met his and a smile slid on to her face as she spoke

"Yes, but i find that im a much better hunter these nights."