I'm looking into an abyss
With all the lights off
And I can see only you
At the end of this tunnel
But why?
I can't have you
I know
You love another man or so I think
Because I'm basing off of assumptions
That I made at 4 AM
Yet a part of me keeps telling me
to move on
I guess I'm stubborn
Always thinking about whether or not
These texts have meaning
Probably not, probably just falling for
pain and regret
Too scared to make a move
Too confident to give up
It's almost like a paradox  
Of lies and truths mixed into one
And it says I can't have you

The abyss just got deeper.

Today, I am lonely.
Tomorrow, I'm depressed.
And the next day, I'll be dead.

So end the incesstant pains
Bring me
No more tears
Make it all alright

And excuse me for hiding away like a coward
But my soul is locked up tight
Trying to reach an impossible height
But yet it crashes

And still no one reaches out to catch it
Now my soul travels higher than ever  without a physical being
Or these emotional feelings

Walking around alive but dead inside
Looks as though there's a monster in my head
And it seems I won't escape the fantasy of these dreams that are of a happy life

One without strife

One filled with joy

One with love

One with a dove to carry me away

Only to stop right by my grave

I once dreamt of blood
Spilling on the carpet floor
And I know I can't ignore
Who the person is
Deep down
I know
But I can't see the face
For some reason
My finger just can't seem to place
Then I wake up
In a cold sweat
and the demons told me
That was you
Then I go back to sleep
With tears in my eyes
Knowing my soul is slowly dying.