I know you probably wonāt be able to read this bit of my soul, but I just wanted to say that up until now, Iāve crossed an uncountable number of lines. To other people, it may seem like I make a big deal out of minuscule things, but as a human, Iāve made many, many mistakes..but, Iām not one to forgive myself. Iām the kind who fits herself into the stereotypes ones boxed into.
Iām the ānerdā, āthe muteā; āquiet kidā, āthe hopeless romanticā, and every other category they box me into. I donāt fight back. I donāt look them in the eye. I just sit there with my head drooped, silently wishing to go by unnoticed, because the truth is..Iām afraid. Iām afraid of what they might say back. Iām afraid of messing up, Iām afraid, Iām afraid, Iām afraid. But most of all..Iām afraid of their words. Iām afraid of their words because what they might say back is unknown. By the time I wait, the words just melt underneath my tongue, and all thatās left is the uncertainty.
Through my experiences, I learned that I donāt need to be afraid. I learned that people can be harsh sometimes, but itās not my fault. Thereās nothing wrong with me. The only person who was wrong, was the person who thought they had power over me. The power to change my mind, to make me think that Iām not worth it. That Iām not worth it..?
Then came these seven angels..
They taught me to love myself, little by little, everyday. My world turned right side up, and there was nothing left to lose. Back before then, I remember not bothering to look both ways before crossing the street, because I thought, there was no good reason to live. I was wrong. I slowly started to realize my worth, I wasnāt what people said I was, because the only definition they were giving, was a reflection of themselves. I mean sure not everything was perfect from then on since, but I still continued to love myself because of these seven men from South Korea who had such an impact on me, that I could never forget.
From then on, I was the girl who didnāt let labels stop her from being her own self, I was the girl who kicked open the box of stereotypes she was stuck in for a long time. I was the girl who stopped apologizing for the things she did right. I was the girl who never stopped dreaming. But most of all..I am now the girl whoās not alone. I have these seven brave handsome looking knights and an entire āARMYā after all.
It may seem like I was pretty subtle about these āseven angelsā I was talking about, but a true ARMY would know exactly who Iām talking about. š