I guess today you have said what you have been holding up on ya mind. And I respect whatever you said buh lemme just say you really did say a lot of things buh lemme start of with the main issue which is about me calling. I understand how you feel and there’s nothing nor anything one or me trying to toy with ya feeling. I know you feel like am using because I don’t call buh like I said am not. Sometimes I just feel to shut everything around me down buh I really really try not to allow it to affect what we have wallah I do buh sometimes it just suppresses me. I have this thing depression issue that comes from time to time and I feel like it’s turning into bipolar disorder I once asked you if you knew what it meant and it’s really really getting to affect us and trying my best to see it’s not, I know sometimes I can be narcissistic buh am trying to not be and the only way I try to keep myself together is by sleeping it over nobody knows why I sleep a lot people misunderstand me buh you the only one am telling this and my reason for sleeping a lot is because that’s the only way for me to keep it together and keep my cool it’s the way only place I can be to feel okay and must of the times I force myself to sleep buh what can I say I let it get best and I told ya this before most of the times I find it difficult to express myself ,my feelings, the person that talks a lot and emotions to people it’s all part of my my issue that I have and wallah really try to see I do try it myself to ya buh I guess I failed and it’s reached to a point where I made you cry, I have always prayed and hoped for a day to come for ya to cry or even to make ya cry. Today you triggered or brought up some memories I don’t like ever thinking about it really hurt and hearing you cry was really really hard and like you said any person that loves his partner will try to his to comfort that person in pain buh I couldn’t and I guess I failed as a boyfriend and I feel you deserve more you deserve better than someone like me. Furthermore I even made you feel as if you ain’t the one and buh lemme just say you the only one and I love you with all my heart you might believe and you got every right to buh that’s it.
And some of things you said really really hurt me to the core and I didn’t show you the real me you should justify me like that deep down in your hurt you I would never ever hurt you intentional or not comfort ya. Those words really did hurt it was very hurtful. You think I want this huh?, am trying my to see my issue not affect us buh you misjudging me and saying somethings is really wrong of you to do so I thought no matter what you will think there most be a reason why he acted like this and understand me that’s how I felt buh I guess am wrong. And you did really let the anger get best of you, I always told ya not to allow it to get the best of ya buh you did today by saying out your mind and I appreciate you for saying what’s on your mind. You know they say people whom are angry, drunk say what’s on there mind and they mean it buh babe what can I say you made feel as if I ain’t the right person for ya that person to love ya wallah buh it’s all good. You said you got a lot buh you never shared it with me because I wasn’t there for ya buh I know wallah I was its not that you gotta tell me over the phone buh at least when we are chatting you can if you wanted to you would have told me that’s why I always ask you if everything was alright and fine buh you always say you good when I know you ain’t. And I don’t know why whenever we on the talking most of the times your mind is always some where, you have have been doing this for along time and it’s really really bad it’s shows as if you don’t take me serious especially the one yesterday that’s what it show don’t get it the wrong way buh that’s it.
Buh anyways it’s all good my apologies for everything, especially for making ya cry, for not comforting ya when ya needed me, for not been there for ya when you needed me, for not been the best boyfriend you wished for, for making ya to doubt me if I really care about ya and if I truly love ya and for everything I couldn’t do and say plus not been able to explain myself and if I did say anything that makes you feel bad am sorry too wether it’s intentional or not
Am sorry once again
I love you..........