You always wanted someone there
You pushed me away
I was always there
When you needed me
I was there even when you didn't
I was never enough for you though
You always had others on your mind
My mind was all yours
I did my best to keep together
I couldn't
Now I'm just pretty heart broken

I am young and naive
I think I know what I am doing
I lack experience in life
This makes for troublesome times
Especially for a young adult trying to find their way
I have made many mistakes
I have done many things I wish were different
If I could start over again,
I would

I am a human
Being human is what I tell myself
To rationalize that I am feeling emotion
To tell myself that emotions are normal
I don't like feeling emotion
I wish I was a robot
I am human because I feel
I feel emotions, therefore I am human

I know things aren't easy
That shouldn't always be an excuse
Am I wrong
For wanting you to be here for me
Am I wrong for wanting more from you
I feel so alone
You're not always here
I try to be
More often than not I am
Am I a toy?
Sometimes I feel like one

Am I working on your time?
Lately it seems we only talk when you want to
I'm not sure if I'm here because I just don't want to be alone
Or because I want to spend time with you
I'm worn out but being alone grinds the gears of my soul

I had a dream
There was a woman
She showed me affection
I felt odd while she did this
She tried to kiss me
I rejected her kiss
I've been pondering this dream
Did I reject her affection because I don't deserve it
Can I not form a bond in this state
Where am I

Like music,
I can feel the beat of my heart
I can feel it quicken when you're near
I can feel it slow as I fade away
Unlike music,
This beat will continue forth
At a steady pace until no longer more
I wait for that day to come
I no longer can stand this hollow ache
My heart beat,
A constant reminder of how empty I am