The funny thing about standing at the mountain top
Is the way it casts a shadow on all the steps before
No matter that I’m looking down the path I just walked
I can’t feel that first step again
I can’t feel the feeling in my stomach the first time his hand brushed mine
I can’t feel the flutter of that first kiss
I can never again feel that first ******
But the cursed last one, that one you never forget.

Fingers like magma
Tongue like lava
Set my core on fire
Flames licking me from the inside out
Heat spilling from between my thighs

I love the high of discovering someone
Peeling back the layers testing their limits
Being whoever whenever to get the answers
It’s staying and watching them change, watching them disappoint and win and grow and shrink
It’s the staying that breaks my soul

Even in the places I go to escape you
I find you
I’m brought to tears in the middle of the dance floor with all of the motion, and lights and sound and smoke swirling around me
I feel the tangible space all around my body
I feel the weight of being without you