I'm 19 feeling dead
Like I've been dying
Gone for too long
Like I've been gone
Long enough for everyone
To lose their sadness
And just get over it
You've all long been over it
No more pain for anyone
Except me
I still have to deal with it
Feeling like I'm dying
What's wrong with this picture
Right
I'm so young
Have so much to live for
Should feel alive
But isn't feeling dead better
There may not be any warmth and love
But at least it's not cold, dark and alone
Like the bottomless abyss
That makes up my mind, body and soul

To get the notification
My poem is trending
Makes me happy oh so happy
People actually do read it
Some truly do enjoy it
I feel good enough
Like I'm good at something for once
I get proud of myself like
I've never been before
When I talk about my writing it's always
"I write really dumb poems and post them
On this website that I found."
Never really positive
Not that it matters much to me
You give me the positive feedback
That I can never give myself
And I am grateful for it all

My heart has been acting up
There's a rattle
A little smoke coming out
Something is wrong with it
Maybe some loose screws
A crack or two
It could be overheated
Possibly needs an oil change
I think I need a
Profesional opinion
Could you check it out
Let me know what's wrong

Sometimes I daydream
Wonder what it'd be like
To just be next to you
Be able to reach over
And hold your hand
Look into your eyes
Maybe see something there
That would make me stay
Hope you feel the pull
Just as much as I do
But it's all just a daydream
You're miles away
Lost trying to find you
And I'm here alone
Daydreaming about you
What it would be like
To actually meet you
Be wrapped in your arms
For the first hug
Hear your voice
By my ear
Maybe you'll say something sweet
And I can grin at you
Oh God these daydreams
Are going to **** me
One of these days
But I do it anyways
Let myself pretend
That you'd be good for me
And good to me
Make believe that you see
How I feel
That I care about you
Instead of being blinded
By your choices and ignoring me
Cause that hurts the most
You're too busy
Partying, drinking, smoking
To see what's in front of you
That I have feelings too
So here's to the guy in LA
Who's too busy being a *******
To notice me

believe whatever you want to believe,
but as for me, I believe that love wins.
Always.

I am nichts, only a memory.