I prayed to God
With my hand to my heart
To give me the heavens
And the moon and the stars

But all he gave
Despite the words I prayed
Was a hand full of friends
And a rooftop for shade

Disappointed at at first
But soon came to learn
That the little he gave
Was more than deserved

So I took my friends
The few I was lent
And thanked my stars
For this life well spent...

The years are running cold
Like sand through your finger holes
Like cents in your old jacket getting lost in the pocket folds
Stilling hemmed to the edge of a jaded crown
To get praise from a faded crowd
Trading being right for the right to be loud
Tell me where are all your glories now
Just a clown with an open mouth
In a house where the lights are out

She had a crowded face with sterling grace to it
The clouds in the sky couldn't match its coldness
But she drew me in with a loveless flick of a shoulder
And I was a rabbit in a hole
A panting deer to the slaughter
She had me with the hooks attached to her sides
And like a jockie on a stallion
I attempted to ride
But I was swallowed by the current brought in with the tide
Folded in between waves that would never subside
Yet she was my guide
And pulled me out and care for me until I dried
Turning rich and golden but the bay side

The emptiness in my heart fills up my head
Silent motion in the dark that crowds up my bed
And I feel so light
I'm barely making a dent in my mattress
Now I fear the doubt is starting to compliment my sadness
I'm an open book
But all you'll read is dampness
If you like scribbles maybe you can untangle this madness
Cause Lord knows I've tried but I end up on a blank page
And I'll spend my weekends filling it up for days
I'm fond of the clouds
But I adore the sun rays
I hope can still hear the laughter
Everytime a child plays
Locked in my room where the covers they smother my mood
Until all this gloom somehow becomes understood

I find peace not in their hatred
But in my love
For they hate who I am
But I've never shown another face
For the face I've shown is the one I own
And the face they hate is one in the same
So if they hate
This face is to blame
But I find solace in the truth thereof
For if I wore a mask
There'd be a question to ask
Do they hate the mask or the owner thereof?

Drip drip drip
She enters leaking from every hole
Creating paddles on all my surfaces
Slip slip slip
I fall as I follow her
Sailing all my boats in her direction
Ship ship ship
On the oceans she makes
Sending me meandering merrily down the stream

drinking coffee to feel a buzz
doesn't take the place of feeling love
but feeling anything at all will be enough
to keep my waking hours from fading out