This waiting room is painted of pain,
featuring faces with mouths down-turned,
impatience taking up these empty seats,
of family members already lost,
we feel like the least loved
in the mighty grasps of almighty fate's
crushing hands,
we feel like the last patients
to be visited during the night shifts,
by nurses and doctors,
the times of day when the most dust
is swept back to the humble soil
by an unseen, yet not-so-invisible bashing broom.
the old fan - barely hanging -
is closing in full circle,
a whole life lived.
dull curtains, some unhooked and five minutes to falling,
alongside the walls' stripes
designed with a print of doctors' usual words,
"I'm so sorry for your loss."  

If life truly begins at forty,
then hers ended at the starting line.
this would be a misplaced and mixed metaphor
if it weren't for olympics silently running in the background on the tv
reminds me of my mute cries, surprised eyes bulging, gaping mouths with no sound.

It ought to be a preventative measure; just a routine operation
a possibly cancerous lump.
I am flipping aimlessly through these magazine pages,
each catching a tear-drop for the dog-ears
(whoever reads them next will turn the pages over better).
Some puzzled maze pieces fall out of a box,
my baby cousin tries to gather the cardboard paper of a family tree picture,
but the least important twigs are lost, and the last friendly branch found missing.
The many portraits that make up the landscape go away from time to time.
It was just a little, smallish lump.
these news are hard to swallow.
my eyes are peeling onions.
my throat is winter-hands dry.
mum says she saw her the most alive
a few odd minutes before time clocked aunt out.
Grandma's sister blames herself for suggesting, advising, and in retrospect putting "pressure".
neutral colours ***** the Scrubs' floors,
hypothermia lurking in the corridors,
but the coke from the vending machine is medicine lukewarm.

It was a game of musical chairs,
But when the seven trumpets sounded,
the stools remained still, they stood facing eastward in hexagonal formation.
An angel ascended, the remnants were six shadows now.
With a plot twist, it's less players each round.
Who dies first wins, I've tossed too much soil on dust, my hands are *****.
We wash our hands clean with this paraffin.
Open-casket, the last sight took my breath away - the whitened clay still one,
but with the breath of life taken away, by the One, who giveth and taketh.

It's also winter our hearts,
dips of grief, dabs of black clothing, grim-reaper the thief, we still loath him.
another weekend
another sad-a-day
another funeral.
And his life was a summary,
too brief a breath, as the contraction is.
No sympathy to bother saying
"I am".
Public or private hospitals, dark clouds gather above all.

Twenty-twelve was a scar,
for four years now we are still scooping our scabs, from the bottomless pits,
that fell from ever-fresh wounds picked at a tad too prematurely,
so very early.
Some of the things we will take to our graves
will take us to our graves, as we exhume our pre-mourning selves.
And hurt still drops in drips,
red-bottomed-sticky feet from the blood-washed tiles,
the pain and the paint in permanent.
Some matters you can only think about
when you are half-awake and half-asleep, because these nightmares
are too real to be dreams.

uThixo Ovayo unoNobantu, nabantu bakhe bonke ngamaxesha onke.

~ by New-Black-SoUl #NBS

Those on high,
See me cry,
Feel my pain,
Life is insane,
No more home,
I'm all alone,
Can't see his face,
This empty place,
No laughter here,
Life gone I fear,
No more I know,
While life below,
My son came back,
From life's attack,
Gave all for us,
Did not a fuss,
Why war so near,
Takes those so dear,
And those behind,
No purpose find,
My heart is hurt,
My hope desert,
Can't hug him so,
I'm dying slow,
So hug your child,
So tenderly,
And truly see,
How precious done,
My lovely son.

Came on one day, the darkened clouds,
That hung in sky, a gloomy companion,
With rain, so summer, dropped steadily,
The sun did not come readily out today.

Damp sidewalks, pavements, black as coal,
With whistling wind that danced in trees,
A cool, invigorating massage of  face and skin,
A spiritual rebirth so surely on its wandering way.

Humidifying to our own bodies and souls,
The mugginess and moments of listless day,
So counting moments as they flashed before us,
Another, blustery fall day we shared today.

So, endless puddles of deepen water wells,
Splash out before us when we came to play,
But walking faster, the bus that flies by us
Is lightened as the sun peeks out to shine the way.

Searching every hole and cranny,
Wading deep in the lake of life,
Following every path and byway,
Lingering, always lost inside myself.

Holding life beneath the lamp of sadness,
Examining how each part does not fit,
Piecing parts of the cosmic puzzle so,
Never, ever fitting the circle in the square.

Past lives,  family ever, ever spinning,
Knowing how they want to rule me,
Trying daily to create my path of wonder,
Cramming their views deep inside my soul.

Longing for the sweet girl living near,
To ride in on a horse of fiery flames,
Saving my soul and placing it in a box,
So she can determine if I am truly living.

Tasting the rain, so ever dancing free,
Whistling the wind, the cooling motion,
Seeing dark clouds spinning like a top,
Never coming to face my, my own reality.

Noticing in a magic mirror placed before me,
Aging, loosing, this  youthful, fleeting force,
Staring at the old man, tired, searching still,
But never discovering the purpose of my life.

Magic bodies melting to,
Loving, yes, and loving you,
Kissing your face, laughing loud,
Every advantage, taking now.

Gliding fingers over your skin,
Hoping now, you will  let me in,
Now your hair tickles my face,
Sweet to be inside the human race.

Heaving chest, hot is the air,
Lost in love, how we care,
Smell the essence that is you,
Somehow feels fresh, so is new.

Falling garments, on the floor,
Just beginning, wanting you more,
Tingle, tingle, bodies now hot,
Wanting all, yes, all you've got.

Reaching inside, going now deep,
This is special, promises to keep,
Will this be, a lasting, sweet delight?
Or, one night stand, and just one night?

Once it's over, the magic now gone,
We sing the lovers, momentary song,
Picking up, slowly, the garments that fell,
Perhaps tomorrow, who can  we tell?

Around and around in circles I go,
Lost, lamenting on this orbital globe,
Wandering aimlessly, lost in night,
Frozen in motion and falling in space.

Mental confusion, we're all falling down,
Circular motion,  spinning through time,
Laughing hysterically, not knowing why,
Onward and onward till all goes away.

Planting my feet on once solid ground,
Running in motion, but not moving forward,
Looking in past and the others that follow,
Willing to surrender, but no one is there.

Being so blown down streets dark and damp,
Tumbling like rag dolls, falling and falling,
Hitting my head on the cobblestone street,
Where am I going and when am I there?

Now finally finding where this is to go,
Muddied and tired, stumbling along,
Finished with trying and slipping away,
There's just the darkness, showing its face.

Chased the moon in late night bliss,
But couldn't count the numerous stars,
Caught the planets swirling madly,
Deep within my prodigious mind.

Grabbed  a rope to lasso the world,
Tied it tightly in my cosmic fashion,
Pulled and pulled until I passed out,
Lying, lingering on the dampened Earth.

Lights of rings round glowing moonlight,
Cool air dancing in tree branches so high,
Call of the wild from a desperate coyote,
Dogs came running to escape demise.

Stretched my arms so protecting to heaven,
Saw the night dance play out it's routine,
Breathed the night air so sweet as a nectar,
Wandered aimlessly till the wee hours arrived.

All the splendor and all the beautiful creation,
Playing slowly like a movie of days gone by,
Heightened sounds like an orchestra playing,
Feel how the night now is laughing aloud.

Yearn to be free, to have a voice,
That someone will notice and rejoice;
To stretch my dreams so far they go,
That everyone will now hear and know.

To stand amongst the crowd and sing,
We'll hear the sound of freedom ring;
Let loose with breaths of joy and hope,
No longer strangled by society's rope.

We'll share our feelings and desires,
To live unhindered most every hour;
Discuss whatever our lives contain,
No longer in shackles, or in pain.

Stand up and lay our lives to bear,
If we're to triumph and truly care,
Stand tall along the shores and say,
Today is all our independence day.

If love is to begin its course,
We must then tell the way we feel,
Because in love no minds will know,
Unless the head and heart do tell.

Life is too short to stand unseen,
Just take a chance and love another,
But we must first share how we feel,
Or love is gone and no more seen.

I knew a girl who stirred my soul,
Each day I longed to be with her,
But being shy I stopped my desire,
To watch another go quick to her.

I vowed to never let someone I loved,
Be gone before my heart revealed,
How I would live and die for one,
No longer chancing a love so sweet.

So, now I say be bold and brave,
If so rejected, then life is such,
But never hold your words at bay,
Even if it means such a heartfelt pain.

Another girl one day came dancing,
I took her hand and body near mine,
Then whispered my love into her ear,
Until the time she smiled agreed.

I am no longer afraid to love,
Then this is how my life unfolds,
Be bold and shout your passion so,
When a beautiful woman comes along.