Faith and fear opposites which lead to each other.
Are they truly black and white or brothers from  another mother?
Since one can be afraid and led to faith or faithfully afraid of an eternity never ceasing to remain.
But no cause if you have faith why would you be afraid?
I ask myself this day by day
But somehow the idea of a life after life does not grant me peace
but rather a terror which never seems to cease
it crawls and creeps a path to my soul
and makes me wonder if my belief has a hole?
Is my declaration of trust just a grasping manifestation for something to believe
when in reality
with my fear of what’s to come I’m worse than an unbeliever
with no actual conviction or peace in a greater wisdom?
These thoughts and doubts swirl around till they threaten to consume me
but my face won’t show any signs of my inward agony
because if I the pastor’s daughter
a voluntold role model gave a glimpse
of my lack of faith will I cause others to falter?
These are the lies
the enemy compiles
to take over my heart
but NO I do not have to carry these burdens that is not my part!  
From a manger to cross and then an empty tomb
there’s one who chose to fight my battles and He always wins them too.
He won’t let my faith mold into fear
and he won’t let these thoughts draw me near. He’s shouldered these worries when I could not
and lifted my eyes when all seemed lost.
He picked me up even with all my burdens
and didn’t complain even when I hurt Him.
He didn’t give me a second chance no He gave me seventy seven.
While my patience with others wore thin
before we even got to ten
he said “wait haven’t I far surpassed eleven? Daughter, I forgave you, why will you not do the same?”
But even then He would not allow me to be overwhelmed by my shame.
Instead He lifted my sights and directed them towards the heavens
and said I’ll meet you there in paradise though you have so many transgressions
my eyes swam with tears as I asked Him a childish question
for I turned to Him and whispered one word which caused him to simply smile
for the word that escaped was simply “Why?” And His answer caused me to think for a while. He laid His hand on my head
and He didn’t shout but gently reminded me instead
“it’s not what you have done
but rather my mercy in sending my son.
For I love you as my daughter
and so gave everything for you so know I am your Heavenly Father
and I chose to make you new.”

She’s book pretty
In the way that her messy bun always has one or two perfect curls spilling out
She’s book pretty
In the way that her voice is just loud enough that you can hear her but she doesn’t shout
She’s book pretty
In the way that her smile reaches her eyes and warms you to your toes
She’s book pretty
In the way that her light complexion, dark hair, and rosy cheeks all balance and bloom like the petals of a rose
She’s book pretty
But not just like the main character. She's more of the sweet best friend that you wish the book was about.
Because that girl doesn’t always think about herself but actually looks around
She’s book pretty but not just like the characters but also like a book
Because being with her is comforting whether in public or in a cozy little nook
She’s book pretty but not just like a book but also like a reader.
Because first and foremost she is one which shows with how she’s English smart.
She can converse like a lady but also passionately discuss something she took to heart.
She’s book pretty but not just like a reader but also like a writer.
Because she has the kind of beautiful mind that not many people possess.
For most everyone can write but not everyone can make you feel with their words but she does to that I can attest.
She’s book pretty
But not just like the characters, a book, a reader, or a writer
She’s book pretty
like someone that was written about in the greatest book of all time.
Like someone who had thought put into her loving heart and poetic mind.
Like someone who is loved and loving and holds the key to the brightest of futures
Because before she wrote she was written about
and before she read she was fervently sought out
And before she was labeled as book pretty
someone called to her chosen child come to me

I'm not an extreme feminist but here's what I've got to say
The pressure put on body types is grotesque and ridiculous
This goes for men and women experiencing this every single day
Not only does it measure up to nothing but it's literally ludicrous
I'm sick of seeing healthy girls cry about their weight
I'm done with hearing people say that one boy will be right when he grows
I can't fathom the view that is if they aren't chiseled they're not my soulmate
And i don't remember a time someone’s body type made us automatic foes
I mean think about it, why should it matter how long their bones are or how much their skin has to stretch?
Is his body what made Jesus perfect? Find a verse that tells me that
Don't get me wrong it's important to treat your body with reverence and respect
But to diminish a human’s value by calling them skinny, short, or too fat
How on earth does that make any sense when a precious gem is not called precious because of its measure
No its valued as something unique and beautiful no matter its shape or size
Things are labeled as beautiful when they evoke a joyful pleasure
So if beauty standards are creating sorrow then maybe it's all just lies
And what are standards anyway when my skinny is your bloated and my lanky is your poised
It’s a mess of comparison and wish i had that never stops going round and round
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the beholder is not always the same girls or boys
So what is a standard when the judge changes on the daily and there is no solid ground
The only opinion that never changes is one who knows every beauty and every ‘flaw’
The one who created something so outside of the box so precious and so rare
That no one could ever perfectly draw
There's no accurate representation of something so beyond compare
After all people weren't created to reflect the creator’s glory all in the exact same way
Trust me God is not so boring so don’t dishonor him by wishing for a different new
Know you were created wonderfully and by the perfect artist who wants you no matter what you weigh
You are not a body though yes it's a gift given to you
You are a forgiven sinner that's loved, chosen, and a distinct and spectacular work of art
Why does the state of my body matter if I have forgotten my heart?