we promised ourselves
to never turn out  
like our parents
and yet any  minor
inconvenience the mask slips  crumbling to the floor  
revealing a piece of them
through us.
We quickly grab
the mask
trembling hands
Hold tightly
onto the shame
we promise ourself
to never act
Like that again
Repeat the cycle.

I shall kneel and pray to
any of the gods
except this god.
i cannot tell you what
happend
I tell you this .....
this god I never call
By his name ...
He is not worth the sacrifice.
He is not worth to abandon oneself
for false promises are claimed to be prophecies.

I can't speak what my heart feels yet only describe in mere words what it yearns for.
I cannot speak my mind , those whirlwind of thoughts keep me confused , which way do I go left or right? Do I know? I choose to speak my mind in a crowded room , with a blink of an eye the white walls reflect back to me empty and sterile nothing alike , like those thoughts i carry inside — their footsteps echoes in the back.
I tried ropes and ties in hopes of saving yet not  one soul grabbed what i had to  offer like i was mere wind of no means filled with nonsense.
Broken oaths still seek me , voices linger in the back of my head.
I feel the tightness in my chest spreading like a parasite eating me alive.

My head feels heavy like stone ,
while my eyes flutter closed , my body is screaming for sleep — my shoulders ache for rest while my mind won't rest. I spin in circles in this hell hole
I can only hope for the light to go out.