If you cheated on your spouse
Do the right thing and tell the truth
Lies only make things worse
Running away only makes you look guilty

What proof do they have anyway ?
Are the photos a dead giveaway
Maybe it was the social media that caused a stir
Did your ex call you just to say hi?

Or are you still in love with your old flame
Your older now its a different game.
Wives seem more demanding than the old days
They have changed but I stay the same

Being hurt by adultery can ruin your life
Your old now... why not try a dating service
Match keeps telling me there are plenty of offers
A bunch of money I need to date Miss Hopper

Ever see a 60 year old on a dating site?
They seem out of place and expect a few winners
And its the man who pays for dinner and drinks
Its a new ballgame you must take time and think

You get lots of women who want a sugar daddy
They will say anything to get a free date.
But most of the time the others just shy away
Finding Waldo is the name of the game.

But this online dating is just plane strange
Its not really a great way to find a new lover
Most of the women you meet on chat
Have other issues like having no car

Do you really want to drive that far away?
For a coffee date that's miles away
I didn't even get in my car
What I wanted was just to far to drive
I had to call and cancel at the last hour

Everything is so out of place
And I hear the Aliens are coming from space
September 23rd has been mentioned a lot
Maybe they will abduct me instead

I don't really have any choice
It's just a pain to find a good lover
Women have it much easier if pretty
They can pick and choose without pressure

Because another man  is always flirting
And I was the one who let her get stolen