The *** was less
But hey, she hated me from the off
Told me often enough
I could sleep with my husband
I could
You I use, just for fun
Such fun, yet I never see you laugh
Maybe your husband’s the one who’s laughing
Laughing at my pain, mainly you
He’s ******* the maid, I’m ******* you, you hate me, I hate you
Do you think the maid is getting a deal here
My husband is a man of integrity, he doesn’t sleep with maids
No, I think he gets his kicks when you tell him about us
You know that for a fact
Yeah, every ***** position, he gets off on it, you get off on it
Yet you played along, what does that make you
??????????.

Now is the time for a long term relationship.
I declare my intentions online
Tazmin comes through. She’s just come out of a ten year relationship.
She could be the one.
Okay, she’s just come out of prison after ten years. Caught the boyfriend cheating on her.
Okay Tazmin, get back to you.
Right, Chantelle has split from her long time lover Rosie. She wants to try something new. But i need to get a *** change.
Don’t know if that’s lesbian humour or not.
Message from Candy. Get a life *******.
I just know she’s the one. But i’m not lowering myself to that level just yet.
Tina. ******* hate men.
You don’t know me Tina.
You’re a man, that’s enough.
Any sensible women out there.
Madge, I’m 84 looking for a relationship. My last lover died on the job.
Madge. For fucksakes take up knitting.
Listen up you lot, it’s not my problem  you can’t keep your men, or women.
Okay maybe shouldn’t have said that.
You *******. Followed by, I’ll stick they knitting needles where the sun don’t shine. I’ll do another ten years for you.  Oh, and. ****** tossing *******.
What the hell happened to the gentle ***.
This was not how I expected things to turn out.
Let's get back to basics
Any of you lot want to go out tonight and get ******, have unprotected ***. I’m paying.
Computer’s going nuts now.
I’m in.  You’re the man. Why didn’t you just say that the first time.
*******, can I bring a friend.
Happy birthday Paul.

A grave deep down in the woods
Just a person, only i know who
The gravestone shines through the trees
Summer leaves its blessing, winter is near

The sun leaves, darkness brings another light
A grave deep down in the woods
Only i know who lays there
Someone must die tonight, no heaven will open

Still is the night, silence for my master
He of all supreme, the master of evil
A grave deep down in the woods
Screams in the night, no doors open

A grave deep down in the woods
No flowers ever seem to grow near it
Yet the sky opens giving it light
For someone else knows this lonely grave.

You can run, you can hide
But you won't get far
Cos I’m outside
In your dreams
Through your day
Where you turn
I’m in the way
Bury me deep
Place the stone
Read the speech
Walk alone
I see you
What you did wrong
Bolt the door
Protect your soul
Build the barricade
Dig the hole
I’m in your mind now
Do you see
Yes, it’s really me
Unbolt the door
Tear the barricade down
I’m all around
How do you get free
You can run, you can hide
But you won't get far
Cos i’m outside
I’m pushing
Surely you can see
Your only option
Is on the tree.

You only feel the pain when the blood runs true
One more lash opens your heart
Hear the beat
Thumping
I’m inside you
Cruel
But you wanted change
I’m your alter ego
Tearing down your barricade
Against the wall
You scream
It’s what you asked for
Tears and blood
Now I’m the animal
Unashamed you cry
My pleasure
Naked and bleeding
You place the whip
I release your passion
You want more
Now I’m bleeding
Walking the line
Tortured in mind
You are free
Liberated.

You only feel the pain when the blood runs true
One more lash opens your heart
Hear the beat
Thumping
I’m inside you
Cruel
But you wanted change
I’m your alter ego
Tearing down your barricade
Against the wall
You scream
It’s what you asked for
Tears and blood
Now I’m the animal
Unashamed you cry
My pleasure
Naked and bleeding
You place the whip
I release your passion
You want more
Now I'm bleeding
Walking the line
Tortured in mind
You are free
Liberated.

The wounded animal is at its most dangerous when approached.
This animal has been festering for a lot of years now.
An open wound covered by the ****** bandage of past glories.
Waiting to rise.
Seeking direction.
The inspiring leader.
When the world seeks guidance, and the house is dark.
Dangerous times lay ahead.

Angie goes on down and blows your mind
Captivates your body makes you blind
Puts you in a rage, but then you find
She kisses your love divine
Angie wakes you up, and lets you know
It’s nearly time to go
Sits upon your lap, and starts to glow
Lets her body show, lets her body show
Angie begs you to stay whilst opening the door
You know it’s time to go
Tells you, come again make it soon
Sailing ships at noon
Angie waves the ship goodbye
I swore I saw her cry
Just a face in a soldiers dream
My Angie, souvenir of oceans been.

The doorbell chimed
She answered
It’s a pregnant woman
She never read the no cold callers sign then, he thought
Are you going to see what she wants
Footballs on, a man should never be disturbed when the footballs on
Was it eight months ago
Just a bit of fun
Why the hell dont women take precautions
This was not going to be pleasant
Hi John, you’re probably wondering who I am
You spoke to my husband about a month ago
He says you’re great at assembling flat packed furniture
As you can see, I’m getting to the critical stage
Yeah, right, I remember
Listen, dont you worry, I’ll pop round tomorrow
Have that nursery built in no time
Thanks John, that will be great
By the way, if it’s a boy
John was one of the names we were thinking about.

Bottle of *****, one knitting needle
We only sell knitting needles in pairs.
Of Course, you do. All good things come in pairs.
Would you like a bag for life, save the planet.
A bag for life would be wonderful.

He lied, she thought.
But that was just typical of men.
She should show him the bag.
You said it was a bag for life.
But it’s not.
Look inside, you lied.

She sure didn’t feel good
Blood and blob
The ***** did the job
Flush the lie
Now she could die

She didn’t die
Just cried
It didn’t help
Just the way she felt

Time moves on
Secret stays hidden
Tomorrow's another day
Just another day
But life is strange

He noticed she was heavily pregnant
Nice to see you’re still saving the planet
Yes, we all have to do our part
A bag for life
Treasured possession.

Behind the wire
Watching
The keeper of life
Burdened by memories
Too terrible for mortal man
Asking only sanctuary
Crumbs to die free
Image of a woman and children
Long gone
Evoking anger
Passion long suppressed
Time running out
Glory be
The wire divides
The whistle echoes
Demons fight for the final time
Silence
Angels collect the remnants of time.

It was one of those days
Started with the shower
She wanted to join me
Which in any other day would’ve been great
But her best friend was sharing it sort of to speak
It was a sympathetic sort of share
Which was true
The wife did leave me on the Friday
To visit her mum
Coming back on the Monday
So technically she lied
Coming back on the Sunday
A good lawyer would pick up on this immediately
Granted, when I told her best friend she had left me
I maybe forgot to mention it was only for the weekend
Anyway, back to the problem at hand
The shower has packed in love
Okay sweet chops, I’ll be naked waiting for you
Right love, oh god don’t go into the bedroom
You *******
She went into the bedroom
So anyway, since it was Sunday, I popped out for the rolls and papers
He did this every Sunday the Lawyer explained
Two Police cars, sirens blaring flew up towards the house
So as the Judge stated, jailing her for 90 days, taking into account the mitigating circumstances in this sorry affair
Could have been a whole lot worse I suppose
So I was at a loose end, and a visit to the hospital was long overdue
Naturally I took the obligatory grapes and flowers
Technically she was still the wifes best friend
But my god, if you could’ve seen the venom coming out of that one good eye
I swear, if she could speak through that wired jaw
I would have got a right ear bashing
So i sat down on the bench eating my grapes, thinking
I do hope they two can put this behind them
Probably laugh about it in 83 days.

Do I physically accommodate you these days
What
Would you say that I intensify your inner being
Intensy what
Do I subjugate your very person
Is this bed talk, cos you know I’m a simple fellow
Do you still have the same propensity towards my body as you used to have
Okay, think I know this word, *** in the woods, am I right
Would you say you’re sharp and sententious
If that means well endowed, defo
I don’t mind you being thick
Length and girth, womans dream
Dumb
Of course he’s dumb, too much talk
I mean you, you are dumb
What, wow, no need for insults
Last night in the bar
I was with you last night
Were you
Do believe I was sitting beside you, I’m the handsome guy
Sure you weren’t staring down the barmaids blouse all night
Actually, at times I thought you were ****** breast feeding
How much was the bill last night
What’s that got to do with it
Just asking
Don’t know, hundred, hundred and fifty
Nothing
What
She’s not the barmaid, she’s the owner, I deliver there, usually a bit extra, get it
Loud and clear
You’re an entrepreneur
That means big boy doesn’t it
It sure does, big boy, lets go.

Do you think of other women when we make love
No, no, and definitely no
I do
Well, I’m pleased for him and you, and really pleased if it’s her and you.
Strange how you mentioned Mary in your sleep.
Well I can hardly be responsible for my subconscious, plus I don’t know any Marys.
What about her in Liverpool.
Lets not go there again.
Mary, three gardens down with the *****.
Ah, that was a text alert from Jeff the bird watcher, something about a rare speckled breast, never saw it myself.
Not even with they perv binoculars you use, I mean how would you feel if some guy was perving over me.
He  wouldn’t be, you’re not perv material. Now if it was your twin sister, then that’s a definite text alert, how is she anyway.
Probably on her back with the Air Corp.
I would love to be in that flyby.
Yeah, well you would know all about flying with my sister.
I thought she was you.
She’s got blond hair and ******* for Christsakes.
I thought you had a makeover. How did she get bigger **** than you anyway, did you get the brains.
Let me see, I’m with you.
There you go, no need to answer that, why don’t I take you for some retail therapy, followed by a candlelit dinner, and wait for it, the big game is on tonight, does it get any better than that.
Twenty two guys kicking a ball, think I'll phone my sister, that flyby sounds more appealing now.

The blade cut deep
She died laughing
Death was a relief
Unlike her life
Riddled with betrayal
He noticed no blood flowing from her hateful body
He was always sure she was bloodless
She certainly lacked all human feeling
But even a ***** like her would possess some blood
He bent down to check just as she was rising
Something in his brain registered
Sudden disbelief, sudden shock
Words in mouth froze
As total shock shook his entire being
The knife entered his neck
Spurting blood in all directions
His fingers tried to stem the flow
She watched him
Fascinated at the pattern he was painting
So strange she thought
He always said she was the bloodless ******.

It wasn’t the ***
That wasn’t important
Well it was
It was him
I gave him my time
He gave me five minutes
Christ, he came quicker than the 9.05 express
Actually, the 9.05 has been cancelled due to a ****** malfunction
He said he got excited
He’s forty two
It’s a breast thing he said
What, the two of them
Well, actually it’s you being naked
Should I keep my clothes on
Could we do it in the dark he said
Yes, just ****** do it
I was excitingly waiting
Nothing
Maybe he’s a Ninja lover
I heard him chewing
What the hell are you doing
I’m coming
For christsakes, not again
No, I’m ready for you
Well get on with it
I’ll just close the door
He screamed
Something told me satisfaction was 999 away
The paramedics put it in ice
The police took down my particulars
God, how i wished they would take down my particulars
He blamed me, could you believe it
Other patients were calling him, Bob it.
I told him straight, the ****** door got more action than me
Is that all you can think about, ****** ***
I started laughing, he didn’t get it
Just like me

You’ve got to make the body fit the box
Don’t cheat, don’t lose the shoes and socks
No point killing six foot Joe
If five feet ten is the space to go
It’s not Mary's time
She’s still in her prime
Jack’s a popular name
To be in the frame
They say no Jack’s the same
It’s like some sick game
Alas, it’s not Jack today
Shame though, he had a lot to say
No, today it’s going to be Mitch
The dog who stole my *****
Five foot ten in his socks
Boy’ he’s in for a shock
He just won't know
Not till the final blow
Going to bury him deep
Watch the ***** weep
The deed is done
Now for some fun
Okay, maybe whacked the wrong guy
Seems the snitch told a lie
That's a blow
Still, that’s the way it goes
Now i need another box
New measurements
Maybe some socks
Someone will pay
At the end of the day
Well what do you know
Turned out to be six foot Joe
Now five foot ten
You'd never know
Could have been a whole lot worse
He could have been poor Mitch
Fitting snug
Between the *****.

Lily Nurmi.


My god, red bra, orange pants, and green socks, I’m making love to a traffic light.

Get on with it.

I can’t, where do I start.

What does it matter.

It matters a lot, if I start with your bra, do I stop, or do I drive on knowing three penalty points and an eighty pound fine are coming my way. Do I start with your pants, amber gambling, if I start with your socks, then that’s it, I’m away.

Well. what do you expect me to do.

I expect you to dress appropriately for the occasion, I mean, Gok Wan couldn’t fix you.

Well, if we’re in an insulting mood, I don’t like the tiger pants you wear, especially as tiger’s are nearly extinct.

Oh god, did you really say that, I’m going out with a *****, 0.5 wit.

What does that mean.

It means you’re a half wit.

Well, I was going to get naked, and put my duffle coat on to get you excited, but not now.

Just what every guy wants, a naked girl in a duffle coat.

Some guys would die to see me naked in a duffle coat.

Do you know, you’re right, I've now got this fantasy in my head, put on an orange hat, and wow, pelican crossing.

Get knotted, and I tell you now, that’s the only action you’ll get tonight

Well, in that case I’ll just have to create a fantasy

On he went with it, hallucinating vividly while she stood there, unarmed and furious.

Hell she was already *****, maybe she could save the situation. She looked down at her pants.

You know, you could still drive, if you have already crossed the line.

His eyes opened quickly, as if trying to catch her lying. He considered it...

Lose the bra and the socks

Lose the tiger get up

Both coming halfway, they now stood in the living room, one more naked than the other. Still a little insulted she went on to caress his member.

He, too stubborn to show his pleasure, gazed at the ceiling, feigning boredom.

Furious she slapped him across his face with a high pitched shriek, picked up her things and walked towards the door, getting dressed on the go.

Realizing he had gone too far and that he was now all up and running, he tried to bring her to other ideas...

BAM went the door.

She'll call.

Lily Nurmi.


My god, red bra, orange pants, and green socks, I’m making love to a traffic light.

Get on with it.

I can’t, where do I start.

What does it matter.

It matters a lot, if I start with your bra, do I stop, or do I drive on knowing three penalty points and an eighty pound fine are coming my way. Do I start with your pants, amber gambling, if I start with your socks, then that’s it, I’m away.

Well. what do you expect me to do.

I expect you to dress appropriately for the occasion, I mean, Gok Wan couldn’t fix you.

Well, if we’re in an insulting mood, I don’t like the tiger pants you wear, especially as tiger’s are nearly extinct.

Oh god, did you really say that, I’m going out with a *****, 0.5 wit.

What does that mean.

It means you’re a half wit.

Well, I was going to get naked, and put my duffle coat on to get you excited, but not now.

Just what every guy wants, a naked girl in a duffle coat.

Some guys would die to see me naked in a duffle coat.

Do you know, you’re right, I've now got this fantasy in my head, put on an orange hat, and wow, pelican crossing.

Get knotted, and I tell you now, that’s the only action you’ll get tonight

Well, in that case I’ll just have to create a fantasy

On he went with it, hallucinating vividly while she stood there, unarmed and furious.

Hell she was already *****, maybe she could save the situation. She looked down at her pants.

You know, you could still drive, if you have already crossed the line.

His eyes opened quickly, as if trying to catch her lying. He considered it...

Lose the bra and the socks

Lose the tiger get up

Both coming halfway, they now stood in the living room, one more naked than the other. Still a little insulted she went on to caress his member.

He, too stubborn to show his pleasure, gazed at the ceiling, feigning boredom.

Furious she slapped him across his face with a high pitched shriek, picked up her things and walked towards the door, getting dressed on the go.

Realizing he had gone too far and that he was now all up and running, he tried to bring her to other ideas...

BAM went the door.

She'll call.

My god, red bra, orange pants, and green socks, I’m making love to a traffic light.

Get on with it.

I can’t, where do I start.

What does it matter.

It matters a lot, if I start with your bra, do I stop, or do I drive on knowing three penalty points and an eighty pound fine are coming my way. Do I start with your pants, amber gambling, if I start with your socks, then that’s it, I’m away.

Well. what do you expect me to do.

I expect you to dress appropriately for the occasion, I mean, Gok Wan couldn’t fix you.

Well, if we’re in an insulting mood, I don’t like the tiger pants you wear, especially as tiger’s are nearly extinct.

Oh god, did you really say that, I’m going out with a *****, 0.5 wit.

What does that mean.

It means you’re a half wit.

Well, I was going to get naked, and put my duffle coat on to get you excited, but not now.

Just what every guy wants, a naked girl in a duffle coat.

Some guys would die to see me naked in a duffle coat.

Do you know, you’re right, I've now got this fantasy in my head, put on an orange hat, and wow, pelican crossing.

Get knotted, and I tell you now, that’s the only action you’ll get tonight

Well, in that case I’ll just have to create a fantasy

On he went with it, hallucinating vividly while she stood there, unarmed and furious.

Hell she was already *****, maybe she could save the situation. She looked down at her pants.

You know, you could still drive, if you have already crossed the line.

His eyes opened quickly, as if trying to catch her lying. He considered it...

Lose the bra and the socks

Lose the tiger get up

Both coming halfway, they now stood in the living room, one more naked than the other. Still a little insulted she went on to caress his member.

He, too stubborn to show his pleasure, gazed at the ceiling, feigning boredom.

Furious she slapped him across his face with a high pitched shriek, picked up her things and walked towards the door, getting dressed on the go.

Realizing he had gone too far and that he was now all up and running, he tried to bring her to other ideas...

BAM went the door.

She'll call.

Paul Gaffney & Lily Nurmi.

Black on good
Touches his manhood
Like a mother should
Thinks it should be in a museum
For God and good
Joey, dreamlike
Always plays it cool
Keeps a gun tucked
Fourteen carat
Sideways dude
Mississippi, likes the rap
Urban cowboy
Got a holster with a flap
Just call me Missi
With an I
The first to die
Deals going down
Going down good
Expansion is the mood
Big time round the bend
Not now but when
Time to ascend
Hit the new den
Death was quick for Missi
With an I
No fast draw
Urban cowboy
Shot in both eyes
Joey heard the scream
Through the dream
Pulled from the tuck
**** you all
Shot off his *****
Sideways fall
Black on good
Like a brother
Felt their pain
Shot trying to save
Respect
Got his final wish
Passed the Museum to his grave.

Black on good
Touches his manhood
Like a mother should
Thinks it should be in a museum
For God and good
Joey, dreamlike
Always plays it cool
Keeps a gun tucked
Fourteen carat
Sideways dude
Mississippi, likes the rap
Urban cowboy
Got a holster with a flap
Just call me Missi
With an I
The first to die
Deals going down
Going down good
Expansion is the mood
Big time round the bend
Not now but when
Time to ascend
Hit the new den
Death was quick for Missi
With an I
No fast draw
Urban cowboy
Shot in both eyes
Joey heard the scream
Through the dream
Pulled from the tuck
**** you all
Shot off his *****
Sideways fall
Black on good
Like a brother
Felt their pain
Shot trying to save
Respect
Got his final wish
Passed the Museum to his grave.

The day breaks and the morning comes alive
The down and outs leave their luxurious trappings
The shop doorways are hosed down
The rush hour rushes by
Shop girls display tomorrow's must haves
Perfume lingers over the first hit of coffee
Gossip travels at high speed
Numb minding work begins
Old lady fidgets with new generation card
The war was easier she sighs
Kids try to sell you tomorrows version of yesterday's wheel
No catch up it seems in the technological world
Only the race to the bottom
Traders popping uppers invent the ten day week
Live for today, dollar tomorrow
Gold and sharp suits can’t hide the body crumbling
Clinics battery charge the fading hopefuls
New lease of life, the temporary meltdown
One born every minute
Evening drinks ***** the day from hell
Home time sets tomorrow's doom alarm
The night people emerge
Shop doorway heaters blowing, provide luxury
Last weeks paper catches his eye
He immediately goes to stocks and shares
Things are looking great
Just as he predicted
The twenty four year old drifts off to sleep, smiling thoughts of yesteryear
Those were the days
Those were the days.

January’s woman melts the snow.
February’s woman is good to go
March she blows like the wind
Aprils woman is sad then warmingly glad
May the shackles are off
June in bed till noon
July love on the beach
August same woman, roll on september
September’s woman is petite and coy
October is comfort and joy
November’s woman is fireworks, this is the one
December’s woman is ice cold, she’s just found out what  i've being doing for the last eleven months and wants a divorce.

He watched her, tenderly soothing their child
Radiance of a beautiful woman
Gentle like snow
Later he would be with another woman
One who would perform degrading *** acts on him
One who would act out his fantasies
In his tortured world
Sometimes in his sleep, it would happen
She would scream him awake
Bad dream honey
Yes, bad dream
She was so pure
He needed to be punished
He needed her
Piercing into his soul
Treating him like the dog he was
Naked and pleading
Begging for her ****** pleasures
He watched her sleeping
Gentle like snow
He saw her
Tantalising in every mans dream
Releasing the chains
But not the pain.

When the dead become insane
The tramps the down, the ill arranged
The junkies burning over flames
The fools who couldn’t be renamed
Where do they go to shoot the light
Eat the bread
**** the night
The times are changing
Tells you on every wall
Don’t expect to be caught
When you jump, get pushed, or fall
The tickets gone my friend
Like the train that didn’t depart
Start queuing up for the next life
Can the hospital have your heart
You’ll have to be quick my friend
The man on the bridge has got a head start.

The benefits of Mary, would vary
Unlike June, ended at noon
Chelsea played away
So did May
Holly turned to folly
With Molly wanting lolly
Sandy was always randy
Just no satisfying Mandy
Ann says she can
But Gwen needs a plan
Jo is good to go
Teri doesn’t know
Daisy says it’s not working out
May,  i’m never about
Mary, who the hell is Mandy
God, Molly’s talking to Holly
Chelsea’s playing away
Be with her May
Oh Sandy not today
Mandy’s on the way
Jo, could you go
Gwens found a plan
Involving Teri
Who’s talking to Ann
Mary and June
In the afternoon
Chelsea’s playing away
Where will it end
Daisy, i love you so
Oh no, make them go
Who’s at the door
Mary and June, Holly and Molly
Oh golly
Sandy and Mandy, Ann and Gwen
God, amen
Teri and Jo
Please not Daisy
It’s all going hazy
We’ve just got one thing to say
What’s that
Chelsea's playing away.

She wore blue tights on the Monday
Tuesday it was green
Bright orange on the Wednesday
Thursday it was cream
I predicted black for the Friday
She wore trousers
Hate that girl.

It’s with heavy heart I pen this verse
Watching your father pass in the hearse
Takes me back to that night in the shed
When you said, this is like fireworks
It was,  I dropped the cigarette on the petrol can
Still, as I remarked not many sheds get a technicolour funeral
He was beyond reason
Not helped when rumours of ***** magazines started circulating
He told me straight, marry my daughter and I’ll **** myself
So we married in haste
But he didn’t keep his promise
What a waste
Still, when that great oak fell on top of his new shed
I had a grin from ear to ear
It was like the chainsaw massacre, but more fun
It was about that time you found god
I found your sister
You forgave me, I was weak
She was pregnant, sixteen weeks
Your dad went mad, he said I was the devil incarnate
Then he dropped dead
They looked at me in horror, in dread
Like it was something I said
Do something they cried
I didn’t know any songs, so I punched him between the eyes
He was definitely dead
I carried the coffin
The least  I could do
I shed a tear, maybe two
We decided to scatter his ashes over his pride and joy
But they couldn’t be found
The crematorium were in shock, people were running around
It was like he just disappeared
I was agog
Couldn’t see the mist for the smog
Later that day, just to console
I produced a big rocket
Really his soul
I set it off, and said goodbye
They had a little cry
It climbed high in the sky
They gave a sigh
Should it not explode
Well it is supposed to go with a bang
Just then it made its descent
It was like he was heaven sent
Plummeting to earth
Mad as hell
We all dived for cover
Just as well
She screamed, oh god, oh boy
No need to tell you where he landed
Okay then
His comfort and joy.

It started on crimson blue
The ocean touching you
Your body free from soul
Inviting colours no
You see his eyes undress, caress
You shy away, tempted
Casual look
He’s watching, like he knows
Colours no
The waves crash
unselfish
pulses flow
Explosion in colour grows
The woman in you, glances
Free from soul
He’s watching, like he knows
Whispering to you
The secret of crimson blue.

It was the new way to say goodbye
Simply text

Dear John
It’s over
Don’t cry
Must fly
Time to start anew

And if it doesn’t work out
We know just what to do

Dear Jane
Been thinking about this for a while
It’s your style
Just not for me
Want to start something new
Be seeing you

What the hell
No style
Dear John
Have you gone mad
Are you on the moon
Been thinking for a while
I've got no style

Dear Jane
It’s not all about you
Look at the bigger picture
We can see other people
Now that we’re through

Dear John
I can’t get my head round this
We’ll have to meet up
I’m all in a tiz

Dear Jane
Only if you insist.

The rain had brought the animals into shelter
They were wary of him
He could sense their concern
The smell was wrong
He was the unknown
He felt the same
Always out of place
His mind drifted back
Her face came into view
The words distorting
Anger through the tears
She would find another
He was sure of that
The snake slithered over him
Curious, but alert to danger
Trigger alert, just like him
He hated going back
They hated him
**** water townsfolk
They flew the flag
But not for him
His surroundings suited
Camouflaged, just like his life
They came into view
Four shots, death in the rain
The animals scattered for a time
But slowly returned
They were wary of him
The smell was wrong
Dead humans appeared to surround him
Her face came into view
The words distorting
Flags were waving
She understood now
The animals began to accept him
He was part of the surroundings.

Alas we didn’t meet, and now the scene has passed
Destiny must run true
Though I wish it wasn’t you
The years have stole your best girl
Something I used to see has faded
Your nights have stayed dark
Eyes entombed in sadness
I hear the men in white talk to you now
Touched me for a time
Tried to recall a date
Saw your face to late
If I could change the scene
I’d have you in my dream
Take you from your pain
Let you start again
I used to know this girl, called
What the hell
I didn’t know her well
Seems she went insane today
I turned the page
Seemed the only way.

Did you seek the all so cool
Could you see the mortal fool
Waited for eternity at the bus stop of life
Old man of destiny, dust became your wife

Watch the woman in the train go by
See the decision in her eyes, she sighs
Running away for the final time
But only as far as destiny’s line

See the ***** as he stumbles down
To the depths of dirt that lays around
Watch his eyes as he hears the sound
You can’t go lower than destiny’s ground

Call the girl who loves so well
****** her *******, the erogenous smell
She will do things you never can tell
But when the woman finds out
Then destiny's hell.

It was never about the goodwill, the charm
Not remotely
Just the lies
But not any old lies
No, lies that made a difference
Dropped into conversation, subtlely
Then became consequences
Affecting lives
Watching as the poison took effect
Gratifying from a distance
Better than a shot to the head
Moving on to the next one
Words at the end of the phone
More words, just a hint
Heresay
Death on a dark night
Senseless, yet so brutal
No affiliations, why
Small wars breakout
New faces, click
Names to faces
Phone call in the night
Chaos ensues
Car stops as shadowy figure enters from the dark
Drives off
Dossier complete.

It was never about the goodwill, the charm
Not remotely
Just the lies
But not any old lies
No, lies that made a difference
Dropped into conversation, subtlely
Then became consequences
Affecting lives
Watching as the poison took effect
Gratifying from a distance
Better than a shot to the head
Moving on to the next one
Words at the end of the phone
More words, just a hint
Heresay
Death on a dark night
Senseless, yet so brutal
No affiliations, why
Small wars breakout
New faces, click
Names to faces
Phone call in the night
Chaos ensues
Car stops as shadowy figure enters from the dark
Drives off
Dossier complete.

He had a tattoo on his head, it read, failure
She had a tattoo hidden, somewhere totally forbidden
Not much hope, he would see them both
So Michael, life *****, you’re feeling out of it, can’t go on bla de bla de bla
So whats the future
Michael- Me topping myself
I can help there, the express train comes through in thirty minutes, should only take you ten minutes to get to the station.
Michael- Are you telling me to jump in front of a train
Yes Michael
Michael- Right, *******, that’s what i’ll do then.
Helen- Well doc, love your therapy, should I just go straight to the window
Call me Drake, and no Helen, what I would like to do is make mad passionate love to you
Helen- Is that not against your hippocratic oath
Only if Michael comes back
Helen- You expecting him back then
Yes, in about thirty minutes, so we better get started
Helen- You want to have *** here and now
Yes, if you don’t like pleasuring yourself, I’ll do it for you
Helen- How do you know I don’t like pleasuring myself
Because your mother told you not too
Helen- How the hell did you know that
You just told me
Helen- You *******
Good news Helen, your mother was wrong, you should pleasure yourself as much as possible, even better with a partner
Helen- Do you get punched a lot
I’m a fast runner
Helen- Were you serious
Never know now Helen, I hear Michael coming back
Michael- Couldn’t do it, I’m a failure at that too
Have you ever done a driving test Michael
Michael- Yes passed first time
I’ll be doing my fifth test next week
Michael- So you’re a failure too
No, let me explain.
The first test I took, I went through a red light. Didn’t pass
Second test, Learned from the previous, went over roundabout instead. Didn’t pass
Third attempt, learned from previous, emergency stop. Didn’t pass
Fourth attempt, learned from previous, couldn’t reverse park. Didn’t pass
Michael- So what you’re doing is, eradicating failure, or part failure, knowing that eventually you’ll pass
When I did my medical exam, I knew I was going to struggle at one bit, but when I got the paper back, it said failed, that’s all I saw
I understand what you’re saying now, if I did that exam again I would pass.
Helen, I think you’re slightly nuts, Drake, but you do cut through the bull. Though, If Michael had jumped in front of that train.
No chance of that Helen, they’re on strike
Michael. Drake, was your dad a seafarer then
No, he just liked a particular comedian.

Death surrounded her
Bombs falling captured the stories inside her head
Real life tears fell over blood-soaked mornings
Screams pierced right into the reality she called life
Friends, limbs missing made her look abnormal
Laughter left the country vowing never to return
She watched the burning figure running towards her
Collapsing before her, pleading for death
But death didn’t want him that day
He wasn’t one of the fortunate ones
She climbed into the basement seeking solace
Clutching the doll who like herself seemed to have survived in one piece
But something wasn’t right
Dolly was living a lie
She pulled one arm and one leg off
Dolly smiled
And the world became normal again.

It isn’t hard to explain
You do my head in
There, can I make it any more plain
You dress like a man
Make love like the dead
Does anything else need to be said
So without further ado
I say goodbye from me to you
Okay well said
Here she comes
Right, go for it
Darling, darling you look great
New dress, suits your hair
Let’s go to lunch
Bottle of champagne
Lets just celebrate us
What the hell is wrong with you
Your like one who flew over the cuckoo
Just spit it out
Darling there’s something I have to say
Let’s get married today
What are you saying, have you lost the plot
It’s dumping day, not love me nots
Now be a man
Darling I would just like to say
Don’t say anything Paul, I’m dumping you, goodbye
What, you can’t just dump me, you need a build up
It’s dump protocol
Come back
I need to tell you something
Come back, don’t go…………………………….

I watch you across the crowded bar
Woman of beauty
Tantalising in every mans dream
I seek the words of wisdom
Then pause
Tomorrow I’ll walk away
Waste what should have been
A lifetime of hope and wonderment
To a life of freedom

I watch you across the crowded bar
Woman of beauty
You sense my pain
Like it was your own
In a way it is
Your beauty attracts
But they want to covet your entire being
They don’t see the strength within
They don’t see you

I watch you across the crowded bar
Woman of beauty
Fate sadly throws us together
Magnets for a time
Till that moment
When fear throws us apart
Destined to walk the passage of people
Clinging for only hope
In the abandonment of love.

She was definitely dumping him
All she needed was the right opportunity
It was like that song
Fifty ways to leave your lover
Now just to get it through to him
You’re crap in the sack Jack
If only you were more like Stan
What a man
Or even Gus
Though you do have a lot in common with Gus
You always go by bus
God, you’re so last year
Out on your ear
Okay maybe that was a bit severe
Need a new plan
I’m just going to tell you straight
Before it’s too late
Don't come on all coy
There's something I have to tell you
It's about me and Roy
I’m having his boy
I know what you’re going to say
What happened to Lee
Let me see
It started on the bus
Him and Gus
I don’t want to discuss
Okay, well Stan caught them
Do I need to spell it out
Stan said they were all like brothers
Now it seems they two are lovers
Stan was devastated
I mean, was that in the plan
Anyway, Roy told him about us
Which was fatal for you and Gus
When the driver braked
Driving the bus
Stan no more
So I end this letter
Missing you Jack
Such a young age to leave
Just turned fifty, lover.

She needed the love
Like the stars needed the sky
The trees needed the rain
The passion would come later
Always later

She bled, like women do
Sometimes freely
Sometimes not
Just the first cut hurt
It was life

She needed the love
Like the fish needed the sea
The sun needed the moon
The passion would come later
Always later

She bled, like women do
Small droplets at first
Only blood
Just the first cut hurt
It was life

She needed the love
It was life
Just the first cut hurt
The passion would come later
Always later.

Some guys just want you for ***
And I can see that
But I really think that would be doing you an injustice
I want to know the real you
And who knows, maybe a relationship
Take it to a higher level
Who knows, we could be forever young
What do you think.

That’s quite good Paul,I mean, compared to last week's effort anyway.

Was last week’s bad.

Let me see now, you’re pulled.

Did that lack substance.

It was sort of to the point.

And that was bad.

Well I did mention it to you the next morning.

Was that in between you’re a crap lover.

You said you could do it all night.

I did do it all night, slept like a baby.

I know, but that wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.

Did I or did I not show you a great time in the morning.

No, you said you had to get a run in.

I know, but after that, were you or were you not screaming.

Are you surprised, there was blood everywhere, thought somebody had attacked you. how was I to know you fell down a hill.

After that, did you not say it was out of this world.

I could have said anything, I was still traumatised.

I’m not surprised your husband doesn’t understand you. You staying at your sisters by the way.

No, she’s at mines.

Did you two read the marriage contract. I mean, I’m not religious or anything, but I think the Priest would be a little concerned about your infidelity.

Have you met father Tom.

Don’t think so.

You have, he was the guy giving you *** tips.

Was that him, he was brilliant, told me all the things that turned you on.

****** great, you get the advice, I get the Hail Marys.

The guy went crackers in the war
Now he sells daffodils down  the old grave road
Sings songs about the dead
His daily bread
The kids throw stones
Shout out names
It’s a shame
Who can you blame
One day the kids were playing in the river
Tommy got into trouble, panic ensued
They ran to him in tears
He ran back with them, diving straight in
Tommy felt the strong arms lift him above the water
His friends pulled him onto the grass
I’ll go back for the rest he shouted
It was only Tommy
No, there’s always more
He swam out till lost from view
They talked about him for awhile
The usual words always came back
He went crackers in the war.

That sad lament flickering through her day
Buried deep, but not deep enough
Folded flag, a reminder of the love never returned
Death the escape, but still the prisoner
Married to the ego
Maybe both
The beauty queen, ugly inside
She heard the words. One ego, that’s a bang. Two ego’s, that’s an explosion.
He would wait for her, he liked the ugly side
How did he know the ending
She didn’t know, and she was living it
The flags, the medals, the shiny crown
He threw his in the river, went back to his old life
She didn’t understand how he could do that
He was part of it
They were all part of it
She was kidding herself
Like the crown that defined her
Living on memories
Waiting out time
She wanted life
The war hero’s widow
They would put that on her gravestone
She began to understand him now
He was free
He’d won his war
Now he was waiting for her to win hers
Her own freedom
The sun was shining the day she handed the flag and medals to his mum
The walk over the bridge would finally set her free
The crown didn’t make much of a splash
No bang, no explosion
Just so much more
He liked her ugly side
She liked that just fine.

The spirit awaits, you can feel it
She has let the darkness go
Moved on in life
Let her body grow
Time is waiting
You can feel it
Feel it everywhere
The moon is up
They’re waiting
The light is shining through
Her body and soul await
The anger and sorrow have gone
A deeper understanding
Returned to her
Everything made sense
The night is calling
Calling her
She walks towards the light
Smiling
Time is waiting
Her spirit moves on.
                                                By
                                                              Paul Gaffney & Lily Nurmi.

Bad run
Good run
Felt good, slow time
Felt ill, knocked thirty seconds off best time
Nighttime pasta, prep meal
What a shocking run
Night on the town, wrecked
Knocked one minute off best time
My body's a nightmare
Just run, don't think
Okay, you're thinking
Push harder, maybe harder than that
The stopwatch is lying to you
New running shoes
The hills will make you stronger
Don't look at the mile signs
Keep a steady pace
Last two miles, push
Last mile, push a bit harder
The finish line
Your fun run is over
I don't see you laughing.

He watches her
Smoke rising, playing against her aura
Diamonds in her eyes
Sparkling like the morning sunset
Transcendent goddess
Temple like the minions who befall her
He watches transfixed
The stillness of day
Dressing her ghost like
Dancers parade
Praying to be the chosen
Diamonds glitter
Charade passes with no promise
Decadent smile betrays her only emotion
The curtain closes
Lesser mortals fated
Sure as day turns to night
Diamonds in her eyes
Deathly kiss, as wolves howl in the night
Clouds free, as the moon searches
Transcending light finds shadow awaiting
Diamonds sparkle
Wolves frenzied as audience is given
Diamonds shine bright
Souls searching for the afterlife
Betrayed by her aura
Coals burn brightly
And the wolves are sated
Dark clouds in the distance
Diminish the burning light
The morning asks why
He watches, transfixed
Diamonds in her eyes.

She was naked except for a frown
I knew that face
I sat her down
Tell me honey, what’s on your mind
Are you making a statement
Am I a clown
Was it something I said
Maybe didn’t do
Give me a clue
Is it your birthday
No, anniversary, did your mum die
Let me down gently, don’t lie
Well I must admit
You’ve really stumped me now
Speak up woman
Get it out
I’m not a ****** psychic
You’re driving me nuts
No more buts
Spit it out woman

I’m not your wife
Your trouble and strife
This is not your house
You idiotic louse
Now get to hell out
And let me leave you in no doubt
If I was your wife
I would shoot you dead
Cut off your head
Dance around your grave
Shoot you again
Just so I could save
The very best for last
The final blast
Now do one.

Well, glad you set me straight
Bit melodramatic
Couldn’t you just scream
Wake me from my dream
When I said spit it out
Didn’t expect a ****** rout
A hissy fit
Raving woman, foaming from the mouth
Words heading south
Anyway, whilst I’m here
Seems a shame
Don’t suppose you fancy
That’ll be a no
Okay, suppose I better go
Although I do think you’re a real hit
Oh, and great 'personality.'

They looked like any other couple on the beach
Hand in hand
She was planning the future
Marriage, children, happiness
He would be going away
She couldn’t take it in at first
Nothing made sense
He tried to explain
It was like a calling
Something that grew and grew
Stronger than them both
Devastated, she left
He went off to war
Years of battles
Inflicting horror
Receiving the scars without complaint
Battle hardened
He saw her on the beach
Mother and child
Her dreams come true he hoped
He watched them for awhile
Thinking back to times before
Hand in hand
No regrets
She didn’t recognize him at first
His face like granite
Scared her
They talked
He would be staying awhile
The beach would bring them back
He watched as she slept
So peaceful
Unlike his own nightmares
Always death
Though at times they were a comfort
Something told him to stay
He saw a family
A future
He would be going
A letter his final gift
She didn’t ask him to stay
It was never meant to be
The journeys end more sweet
She was a woman
The attack came at dawn
******, battlefield lost
He felt good
Hand in hand
She let the sea take his ashes
Blowing back against her
The children were playing
The war was over
She was happy.