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  Sep 2016 Gaffer
Little Bear
the dust will settle
and i will come
searching
under the ground
to find you

still breathing
still bleeding
still needing
air
my love
i will find one more
breath
for you
as you gasp
and grasp for
for heaven

but
my love
smile with me
let it go
for all we need
to hold onto
is the sky
between our fingers

hands holding tight
look at me
look
at
me
see no lie
place my promise
in your heart
where it belongs

and i will save us both
  Sep 2016 Gaffer
Sirenes
It all felt beneath me
For a few hours
How did I become
This very person
Who I never believed
I'd be able to be?  

Like things that
Didn't match a certain level
Were not good enough for me
think long term
I whispered to myself
Then I saw it all happen again

The girl with a well established
Self-esteem and self-value
Run down to the ground
Only to rise up
Roaring like a lion
Tearing down obstacles
Left and right.

I tasted the greener grass
And it left a bitter taste in my mouth.
What if I was there
For no other reason
Than to learn self-respect.
Self-love...

For one can only define me
As I allow myself to be defined.
I have not failed
On an epic scale
I've conquered on an epic scale
And I rose above myself
And what I thought I needed.
It just wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

And so maybe it's time
To go back home
And rebuild these walls
I once caressed with gratitude
And acknoweldge
That they have always served me well
And they have always been
More than good enough

Like myself,
They've always been perfect.
For who will judge my life
In the end of the day
When the sun sets
On my withered body
As I lay myself
To my final resting place?
Surely it will be me and no one else.

All of this came back together
With the humble presence
Of the most precious friend
I have ever held close.
You smiled and grabbed the hand
Of your girl.
In that moment
I remembered all that was dear to me
And all I have ever been:

The girl who likes to walk bare foot
With a heart that longs
For peace and all that is
Sacred and sweet in this world.
Gratitude and good friends <3
Gaffer Aug 2016
The first mile is tough
The last mile is the toughest
I liked the way she played with her hair
Liked her smile
She had a calming effect on me
The in between was just numb minding
Just distance for the sake of distance
Some never made it, some did
She hated cruelty
One of god's creatures
Too good for me
Just to good
The body wants to give up
That little voice agrees
Just dumb for the sake of dumb
I was a dumb one
Everybody loved her
She was one of the special ones
They always take the special ones
Sometimes when the pain gets too much
I’ll run the hill
Just to see her play with her hair
It’s worth the pain
  Aug 2016 Gaffer
Little Bear
the stars will always shine
so you can find
your way
back home
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