Will you comfort me
when winter time is upon us
once again
or leave me out in the cold
wanting the warmth of your embrace

your love is sweet, loving and one that is forever
when whispers of doubt surround us
we ignore the whispers
and carry on with our day

secretly I'm hoping you'll stay
but in case you don't
think of the unfiltered parts of our love

Checked my drafts for the first time in a long time
saw the email just collecting dust in my drafts
honestly thought I had pressed send by accident
so glad that it's made a home in my drafts instead of being sent to your inbox

I think what I've learned the most while being in quarantine
is the importance of treasuring every moment and not taking things for granted

I remember the pattern asking me this question : What has been your biggest lesson
or realization over the last month

spend time with the ones you love

you think that you have all the time in the world to spend time with them
or to have them with you in this life
until one day you lose them
It will hurt the familiar pain of grief and loss
Sadness, shame and anger are normal emotions to feel
you might feel a lot of guilt and shame towards yourself
in addition to anger
Forgive yourself for what you could've done differently and the what-if's

there will be days that aren't the easiest
on those days do whatever you need to
whether it's journaling or watching your favorite comfort movie
just know that you aren't alone in feeling like this

grieving wise
just be gentle with yourself
take it one step at a time

The true lesson in all of this is life is short


grief isn't easy
it's even harder in the pandemic
you think for a moment
maybe life will give me a break
only to realize that the world doesn't stop for anyone and that life goes on
nothing prepared you for the worst news of your life
in that moment it felt like the whole world had stopped
everything I held dear came to a screeching halt
started to overthink the littlest things such as did they realize how much I truly loved them
the importance of saying I love you to the ones I love and care about
along with the words did you get home safely & how are you feeling
isolating myself even more by curling up under the covers and putting my phone on mute
there were days I didn't want to get out of bed
just wanting to be left alone
I knew I couldn’t stay in bed forever
Took it day by day being gentle with myself

but what helped me through my grieving process was knowing that there isn't a right or wrong way to grieve
taking my time to truly process my emotions
not feeling rushed to be productive or happy when I didn't feel like it
that it was okay to take all the time I needed to grieve
my friends words brought me comfort & helped me realize that I wasn't alone


I wanted to help other people who might be experiencing grief by sharing these words

I was going through my emails
deleting some of them
for some reason, I decided to look through the sent folder.
scrolling and scrolling
until one email caught my eye
it was the one with your name on it
if anyone were to ask i'd answer no i don't regret it

this is for anyone going through anything at the moment
lots of people might say it's going to be okay, or it'll get better
while that is helpful
you might not feel that way
in case you're feeling that way right now
take all the time you need, be gentle with yourself
give yourself tender loving care

love when you've found it
is very beautiful
love truly is something to be treasured and cherished
perhaps that's why I hold it close to my chest and nurture it everyday
like my favorite flower

When I think of the word love
it makes me think of someone saying this to me
''I'll be with you through the good days and your bad days''
holding my hand through those times