One breath,
At a time.
One memory,
At a time.
One word,
At a time.
That all I need—
To keep going.
I just need to try,
For one at a time.
Till I can love myself,
Not leaving myself behind.

I'll never surrender,
Not a pretender,
Just a fighter.

Not chasing demons,
They chase me.
I'll keep on fighting.

Day or night,
I fight.

So many wounds— open scars,
Why didn’t I stand up for myself?
—have them put behind bars?

Blood is red,
Roses are dying,
Everything hurts.

Pain amping up,
So now—
I’m sitting here,
Crying.

This spiral im in,
Each wave that comes,
I just need to wait
For the meds—
To make me numb.

I felt overpowered,
I stood on top of the mountain.
They said, "You are great —
A truly pure soul,
In a world full of fake purity."
"You are more than a normal girl."

And then my father said,
"I wish I had a son instead of a daughter."
I fell from that mountain...
And became just a speck of dust.

What good am I
if I can't help the ones I love?
I can't stop the anger
or the violence
I can't stop her demons
from destroying her mind
I can't help as much as I want to
And trust me
I want to
All I can do is pretend the bad things aren't happening
tune them out like I've done
so many times before
I want to help
but I'm just helpless

And it hurts the most
When you try everything
And you still feel
Like someone is constantly twisting your chest
And banging on the inside of your mind

I saw a familiar face in a crowd
Like dye in clear water
Disappear before I could reach it