His love was that of the moon.
Always genuine and always beautiful,
But from Earth’s perspective,
Not always full.

Luckily,
She was not Earth.
She happened to be the sun.
Her perspective was different.

So she continued to shine on his every being,
Showering every particle with light and warmth.
She just wanted to make him feel alive.

She knew his magic and wanted others to see him in his entirety.
So even as he faded from Earth,
She never lost sight of his beauty,
For she knew he would always make his way back around.

And each time she waited,
Longing,
Shining,
Hoping next time he would choose to stay closer.

But he did not.

Nevertheless,
Her shine is bright.
She will remain where she needs to be.
And life will continue onward.

With every word you speak
A ray of sunlight brushes my cheek
I wish to communicate
My hearts desire
Instead—I bite my tongue once more
Waiting
Anticipating
A terrible storm is sure to come
And strip me of your warmth.

And so I allowed myself to be swept
Because for once I thought I had found someone strong enough
To hold me
To lift me
To see me

So when I came to the edge
I fell
Willingly
Effortlessly
For you would be there to catch me beneath
It all

A fool
I have become

—Quit feeling sorry
No one owes you anything
And you must not take life so seriously

You are your own
And nothing was ever yours to keep anyway

Each student
Without failure
Inspires a special bond.
A connection.
And at least one moment of genuine understanding.

Aliyah was different though.
First impression typical.
Second impression frightening.
Third one leaving me confused.
Was it a lapse in judgement?
How would I handle this child?

Many times I had proven myself right indeed.
She was odd.
She was unkempt.
She kept other students distracted.

Fast forward a month
To say my mindset has changed,
Might indeed be an understatement.

Aliyah.

Not only did she teach me understanding.
She taught me creativity.
Acceptance.
Openness.
She taught me that it’s okay to be bizarre sometimes.

I thought I had so much more time.
That I could continue this bond.
Build on my influence.  
Deeply foster my connection with this neglected foster child.

But my time with this kind human has expired.  
And I can only hope she will remember mine.
For the spark in her young mind
And the softness in her heart
Deserve tenderness and care
In order to thrive and expand.  

I’ll remember her final embrace
And my failure to give her anything
Except a few short words of guidance and encouragement:

Be well, Aliyah. The world needs your light.

A new heartbeat lies inside of me
Result of loving you
Maybe it’s the sparkle when sunlight hits your eyes
Or the glow in your cheeks after saying something coy
Nevertheless I find myself entranced, no matter the silence or the
Distance that lie between us.

I finally grew the courage to slowly release my grip
Peering down at my hands in shame
Observing the open slices across my palms
Overlaying countless scars
That have taken time to heal on their own.

Seems I’ve been here before
But why I am no longer able to retrieve those distant memories?
Those scars
So deep
I must be able to trace back.

Nothing.

In this moment
The fresh wounds catch my eye once more
And they hold my attention longer this time
For I begin to feel the pain they must have been causing me all along.

Distraction.

Too focused on a fantasy
What could’ve been
What should’ve been?
And so I must have thought
Hold tighter
In fear that a looser grip would leave me helpless
Crashing to the ground below.

Reality.

Finally able to see clearer
I realize that despite my intention
And my insecurity
Holding on to you
Fearing uncertainty
Was merely holding me back.

I was created to fly on my own.

i wrote you
a letter every day
letters to tell you
just how i feel

written in neat, curved
writing i told you
just how sweet
i thought you were
how you made my heart
glow

letters in which i wrote
with various colors of ink
pouring out my whole being
to you

i wrote you
a letter every day.

i wrote you letters in which
i told you how you made me
bloom.

eventually
i found myself
pressing harder on
the paper
than i had before.

creating tears in them
similar in shape
and size
as the ones
inside of me.

i began to send
letters
with creases
and bumps
and stains
splattered with tears

pouring
from my eyes

as i wrote
the anger
bubbling within me.

my last letter
addressed to you
contained
no words

but was blank.
because
i had none that

could reach
as far

and deep

into the cracks
of my
heart

to describe
just
what you

had left
of me.