Oh my
What is this life
A doomed life
I have to live
a
Agony
I seem to dread
Another reason
To go to bed
A ****** up memory in my head
All the things that they said
A ruined pathway
I have lead
A empty heart
Needing to be fed

I love him I miss the one that was so into me the one that is happy to hold my hand happy to spend time with me
I feel alone again
I feel sad and hurt and lost
I don't know how to make him want me like he use to
To make him excited to be in love with me
Now I'm just
A side burner
I. Just a reason to avoid me. I bring up the thoughts in my brain and you get mad and say I want all I want to do is fight
I am trying to te 'll you how I feel
But a you see is me trying to cause a fight
I'm broken
I'm scared I'm losing you
And that is the last thing I want
I we t us to go back the the happy couple we were
And its breaking my heart its ripping my heart open
Its making me hurt so deep
Its starting to be like I'm just someone you hate being around
Someone that you want to get away from someone you want to not be with and that is crushing me and I'm devastated and I don't know what to do or what to say ..
I could just die today and it wouldn't phase you a bit
That there is the fear in my mind all the time
The thing I think about
And don't dare to talk about
Cuz you will just tell me to shut up or accuse me of talking to someone that is the way you get me to be so upset
You have no idea how much I secretly cry. How much i hurt inside
How much i pray to God that I'm not about to lose this important relationship this special part of my heart that isn't ever gonna be the same this memory that instead of being a happy one it will break my heart every single time I thing of it

Overwhelmed by this feeling
Seems no matter how hard I try
My efforts fall on deaf ears
My desires aren't as important
As I thought
My wants are not valued
By you
My thoughts go straight to what
Have I Done Wrong
Why am I not good enough
Why do I still get the short hand of the stick

I try so hard but its not even close to being enough
I guess its time I just give up
Broken hearted is so lame
I'm hurting so bad
This is insane

Starting to have feelings
For you
Swear its running throughout my head
Wishing I could cuddle with you in bed ..
Wishing you would grab my hand...
Needing for you to understand.
Longing to have you love me back
To see you need me back
Dreams of making love
Seem to overflow my brain
Cant tell you that because im
So afraid of rejection you see
If i dont tell you
It cant be proved wrong
Tears that have fallen
Dont really have a place
I belong
A game of tug a war
It seems
Jumping up to see what you need
Trusting enough to
Show you my seams
Even if it goes to extremes
Rambling on like a fool
Maybe I am crazy about you
Secrets my friend
We can find comfort again
Easing my mind so I dont
Cry.. Why is it that
Im falling down
To get the fire i need to
Have the desire to feed
Possibility of a future with
You
I hope its true
And im not just walking into
A gap of rejection like
A rat in a trap
*** i think my poem is crap

A spiral of smoke
       Satin rose petals
         Delicate tears
            leaks
From your Deepest thoughts

I have a sickness I
Cannot lie

It craves to feed
The fatal
Eyes

A greedy lust
A need for The sickening
Strangers touch
The need 
So strong

It haunts my mind
A
Ever flowing
Urge

To be naughty
All the time
To moan and shake
To feel the pain


Deep down Inside
Begs to make
A extremely wet
Mess
A soaking bed
Almost a lake

The illness I have
Is overwhelming
Indeed

I have a problem
An issue of sorts
No Im not joking
Or Exaggerating at all

I crave a sin so pure
I fight a demonic
Beast a
Biting, gnawing, growling
Full force
****** feast
The is my
Mental disease