It seems like my mind is finally back in control
Like I figured out I don't need that filthy drugs in my life anymore
The reasons I've had to throw my life
Away have become pitiful and selfish
I have been seeking my high power
And He has shown me
That I have the power in my mind and with his guidance
I the strength to say no more
I want to better myself everyday
And maybe soon I will have the courage to make contact with the
Right people and back to work on being a good mother and actually
Putting forth effort to get my youngest back in my life and maybe
Someday with the right support system Get to visit and see my other two baby girls as well as my son.

My love for you my dearest friend
Has been the only
Truth i know


Your smile
The  
Highlight of my day

my best friend
Always making sure
Im okay!

My struggle with addiction has not only caused damage and destruction in my personal life but in my childrens lives if not more so then mine.

My own fear of not being good enough or not being worthy of my children was my reasoning in the process of self sabotaging and giving up
I lost myself in the methamphetamines

That was the reality of my situation failure to provide the necessities and to protect the well being's of my children
  I ignored my childrens pain
I failed to notice their silent pleads for  Attention
That is where I now come to understand
The reason
Counseling is truely necessary
I want to overcome this weakness
This fear ..
THE ONLY REASON I
Still have faith I can overcome and succeed is
Because
Jesus gave me the strength to
Overcome my fears.

I WILL SOMEDAY HAVE  RELATIONSHIPS with my children

Maybe not in the near future but someday and that is good enough for me to continue to put forth effort in improving my situation every day