think i'm mad
out of control
crazy upset
whatever butters your roll
i'm going lightspeed
and that challenges your morals
concerned like it's a high salary position
but i'm okay with not being "normal"

i'm dancing like a drunkard
in an empty street
lit shittily by some yellowed lamp posts
looking stupid but feeling free
every step feels wrong
but i move like i'll die if i dont
in the night i fall over myself
trying to feel what i don't show
to them it all seems so clear
they think they've seen it all
vulnerable as i have been
there's a lot hiding behind these walls
so i'm spinning like a ballerina
tears cascading and dripping to the floor
everything i have is nothing
compared to what i had before
i do the huge leap and land in a crumple
i crash and burn and i succumb
it's hard to look back and not collapse
i know i'm still young
but i walk on these mauled feet
and write with these mangled hands
always picking at the wound so it can't heal
never had a chance
tip toeing and twirling pointedly
pretending this pain hasn't torn into me
the ****** hooks are finally ripping away
and all the maggots are pouring out; just wriggling
it feels good to be free of all that hatred
but it hurts to see the world as it is
god i wish i could just go back
to being a kid

It bears a secret,
so immense and heavy,
it’s worth a thousand keys.

And laden like a million treasures -
all locked in a lone chest.

To write of it,
taboo.
To speak of it,
blasphemous.
But a taste of it,
heavenly bliss.

So I bear its secret...
One that paints grandeur
and weighs a lifetime.
And it’s worth my every breath.

tired of being tired
but i have to go
sitting through my classes
listening to things i already know
you don’t even see me
but i am so close
the second you need me
i’m the only person you know
answers money food
whatever floats your boat
then it’s right back to ignoring me
back to being alone
tired of you saying you care
when i know you don’t
just keep using me over and over again
to give you what they won’t