i'm not a mistake
but i am a problem
however you can't just solve me

you have to listen
you have to witness
the damage that you've been causing

to make me like this
i was never normal
but i was never this faulty

i can't function
i can't deal with this normally
but i will try to do so calmly

disgustingly sweet
your loves leaves me with a bitter feeling
like we both deserve so much more than this

but there are times i lose myself
in your eyes, in my dreams
i forget myself with our kiss

you are real
you are something present, i can see you
something i can touch

but when i try to reach out
you disappear
and so does our love

it's not that i hate you
it’s how i hate feeling like
you are never really present

i tell you all these things
but your eyes are all glossy
and i wonder why i even said it

like why waste my breath
or my time
just so you can get the message

you blame me for feeling alone
when you are always on
a mental vacation

somewhere i can’t reach
boy, do i try
i'm always just a touch away

but you’re just too far
and it hurts to not have you
so I just give up and shift the blame

from you to me
i shouldn’t have expected you
to be who you say

it is ******* crazy
i thought you wouldn’t
disappoint or betray

but it’s all over now
my tears are dry
so why do I still feel pain?

why does my
indecisive heart
continue to break

why do i make these choices?
why do i wake up
just to fall back asleep?

why do i love?
why do i care when it always
backfires on me?

why do i argue?
why do i hurt you
just because you don’t answer my questions?

why do i care?
why do i care?
power of suggestion

why do i come back
when i fought so hard to leave?
why do i go back and forth?

why do i even try
to make this relationship
work anymore?

why do I need to go away?
you’re everything that is good
yin and yang
night and day
there is bad in the good babe
you were worst promise I ever made
but definitely my best mistake
why do I always choose
the ones that cause the most pain?