In the tender hours
When the dark devours
I will sleep by you
And let your hopes stew
Until we say what we mean
After sharing our dream

Glassy, green, genuine
aimed at me
dilating

rosy, ruminating, rejoicing
creased lines beside a lash
for things that haven't happened

beaming, brimming, beautiful
innocently conjuring
a rock on a finger

young, yearning, yielding
hovering over a question
but time's caught your tongue

As my teeth rot
As my skin wrinkles
As my bones ache
Will you still love me
As I am?

Yes I am the fool who came back twice
And I know your ancient tears are nothing more than ice
And I’ve justified my scars by telling everyone I’m better off
But every time I try my voice will quaver

Your bitter taste is resting on my tongue
My throat is burnt from singing songs that we have sung
I would tell you that I missed you but that
Sentiment has passed
But now I’m back to ask an honest favor  

All I need
Is to hear three words I’ve dreamed of hearing all this time
All I need
Is to hold you in my arms without your guilt, you shame, or anger
All I need
Is to bring myself to tears if I could stand
To look you in the eye
All I need
Is to tell you what I am
Before you tell me

Yes I am the love of your young life
And I know this to be true because I’m still your wife
Because I know when you’re upset when I’m the one who sees the way you look at you

I’ve counted the tick marks on my wrists
Like I’ve counted the books of the Bible
I’ve been drunk off wine and water
Like I’ve been baptized in it

I’ve cried monsoons of yearning and ache
Like I’ve teared up from forgiveness
I’ve justified my actions with ignorance
Like I’ve been given too many chances

I’ve gravitated towards my transgressions
Like I’ve asked for your deliverance
I’ve actively acted against your will
Like I’ve told you I would trust you

And I can’t move mountains when you can
But I can choose to accept it
And I can’t push boulders from my tomb
But I can choose to believe it

Here I am
Finally fed
Denying my premature death
And in your name I pray...
That you’d let it be

Darling, be my Anti-Valentine
Don't give me flowers or feed me chocolates
Don't whisk me away to some romantic dinner
Don't memorize a speech about love that you saw on Oprah

Be authentic.
Do what you want to do with me
Or to me
Every day, darling

Hey, are you awake?
I wanted to know because
we've been sleeping here, together
and time seems to elude us both so quickly

Are you awake?
I'm wondering what we'll face tomorrow
because today seemed too good to be true
and tonight everything seems stacked against us

If you are then turn around
And we can strategize for our future
and dream without sleeping
because we lose time together once our eyes are closed

If you're asleep
then be blissfully unaware of my worries
and be happy for both of us
because I can't meet you where you are

Hey, are you awake?
sleep until tomorrow when I've calmed my mind
and when I wake, we can talk about everything
but for now, maybe it's best that we talk about nothing

Rudimentary feelings
Bursting from my mouth
Arbitrary dealings
surely going south
I was only naïve to think
you would not remain
I had only perceived a link
between hopelessness and distain
so I’ll *** my love up in a ball
and throw it down a well
every memory bad and all
so nobody can tell
although it still exists
it won’t get in the way
because new insists
to give my old away

I’d rather remain an enigma to him.
It’s easier knowing he won’t know my grim
Starvation is not a polite conversation
Damnation is not but a plight confirmation

I’d rather remain an enigma to him.
Let my lip quiver as I try to be prim.
My eyelash vaporizes tears into smoke.
My lipstick a match for fires to stoke.

I’d rather remain an enigma to him.
Let his questions fill him up to the brim.
He would laugh if I told him cause of my pain
I want a connection free of disdain

I’d rather remain an enigma to him.
Not that I don’t think he’d handle the dim.
I just think it’s better to separate it all
After all, he’s the one who caused me to fall

So yes... I’d rather remain a tortured
Yet contained
Beautiful enigma

Lovely lovely rosy
You ran from my pale cheeks
In my mouth you’ve cozied-
Hiding there for weeks

In my spit you linger
Causing me to cough
When I’m spitting up my dinner
To shed a few pounds off

cherry blossoms bloom pink across a cloudy white sky.
a sunset washes the overcast away with a rosy hue.
a flame breaks out atop silvery ashes.
women dressed in crimson twirl around a marble dance hall.
redbirds fly in the pale morning to find their nectar.
you blush.

A walking corpse with a beating heart
Sends you her love with her smile
Though her beady eyes set her apart
She’ll still be around for a while

Go on as if she was not in the room
It’s difficult to look in her direction
Her expression blends into all the gloom
And her face holds a sickly complexion

But she’s doing the best that she can
And that’s all that should matter to us
She may not be toned she may not be tan
But we’ll help by not making a fuss

She tries her best to dance and sing
She attempts to make us all laugh
She doesn’t know what tomorrow brings
So she never lives life to only a half

A porcelain landscape
Becomes the great escape
clothed in savory splendor
masked by sweet contenders
a pool of black greets its pallet
blue mugs are decadent chalets

I wandered into a cave the other day
It was hollow and dark and damp and dank
I threw a stone into the empty grey
I smiled and turned as if I had someone there to thank

I explored the space with a candle and a stick
I cranked my neck down to the rocks below
I utterly uttered a name that made me sick
The haunting sound made a resonating echo

And for some reason I waited, expecting an answer
It wasn't long before, again, I saw I was alone
I knew that I wasn't exactly the second-glancer
But that's why I fell when you cast the first stone

That's why I sat at the bottom of a cave shivering, shaking
Waiting for an excuse to drag me back to my real life
To go from a rock ridden home to a home that's breaking
To go back and pick up my burden of strife

And on my way out I saw a drop fall and a waveform
And on my way out I saw a shimmer against the darkness
And on my way out the rain kissed my face like a perfect storm
And on my way out I knew there was a light I could harness

The sun said to the moon:
Why can I never catch up to you?
But the moon replied:
Were we not running away from each other?

I remember when I was a kid
When you counted and I hid
And you found me curled up, hiding
Behind the dark, I was confiding

Don’t leave me here
Paralyzed with fear
Find me again
Just count to 10

She left her keys on the coffee table. But he wouldn't give them back. In fact, he kept moving them around the house, places where he knew she would eventually see. But as soon as she caught sight, he would move them again. And she couldn't ask him where he had put them because after this long of a time had gone, it was too humiliating to admit she was still looking. And even though she knew he knew she was, she kept dangling the replacements in his face to show him that she'd taken care of it. But she still wants the original keys back; desperately.

My cell phone screen lights up
Like my face when I see your name there.
But I don’t have enough storage
For the conversations our texts hold.
And I’m running out of data
From googling all your references.
The family plan isn’t good enough
For the family we could start.
And Snapchat can’t keep the memories
I’ve kept of you and me.
You can’t make digital eye contact
But if you could, we do, all the time.
And there aren’t enough keys to type
About how well I know you.
And there aren’t enough emojis to express
The raw emotion we’ve shared together.
But I cracked my screen today...
and I cut my finger on the glass.
Because texting you instead of seeing you
Is a mistake in more ways than one.

Droplets rolling over oily-feathered wings
Dew weighing down the lady bugs’ shelter
Wrinkles characterizing an aging set of eyes
A tea bag floating in unboiled water
Grey clouds strangling the sun
A gorgeous curve without a hand to touch it
A stained tear caressing a red face
You are disappointed

Am I what you expected
As you pet my hair and pull my fingers
Towards you
Telling me my smile lights up a room

Dirivitive
Misleading
A complete
And utter
Failure.

Words that puncture my lungs
And drill their way through the walls
surrounding my heart
until they reach the main artery
And demolish the confidence I knew
Until the new words like

Sub-par
overrated
under-achieving
And cliche
take form.

The bread is thick enough to soak the oil
And words fall to the bottom of the glass
Like a residue that rests with crumbs
Below the surface
Suffocating under a layer tense silence

Dear skin,
For all intents and purposes
For all those willing to listen
For all people who are lost
For all the threatening thoughts
For all the times it happened
For all the times it never did-
This is why I did it.
Sincerely,


Knife.

There’s a place where ivy grows too thick
Spilling over wooden walls of white lattice
It stands on a platform of grey brick
Where fireflies wallow in a luminous status

In the night, the lights give off a hazy glow
It traps the sounds of laughter and lust
Where daytime fades and shadows grow
Where a lovely sigh becomes a windy gust

In the morning the leaves whisper secrets
And the flowers listen in with open ears
And the dirt stays moist and weedless
So the vines creep up from cloud’s tears

That beautiful hideaway we used to share
I’ll always remember what we had there
Now summer arrives and you hardly care
And you’ll never love me, you’ll never dare

But at least I still have my gazebo
It’s roomier without you

Close your eyes, take a breath.
There's no need to be scared.
cover your ears and shun the death
of the innocence we once shared.

Pretend the raven did not crow.
Pretend that Paul did not deny.
Pretend that highs aren't always low.
Just look to the golden rye.

Tread through the weeds and find a patch
where sunlight bathes earth's skin.
Here your dreams may stay and hatch,
But commandments won't let you sin.

lay down, lady with gleaming hair,
and stay a while in thought.
Just fade away and smell the air.
Forget the purity you once sought.

Nine hundred people
Don’t know what to say or do
So they’ll look to you

Happily Ever After
Alls well it ends well
Ending and beginning a different story, slightly less intriguing

than the last
Still there
Still charming
Just dull

Dull when hands swim in hair every night
When minds meld and eyes dilate
When your skin burns for theirs

And then it doesn’t
And then you sit side by side
Having the time of your life as your life passes you by

Staying sat and saving money
Making lists of things to do
And their name sits between laundry and dishes

When their kink becomes coupons
And your fetish is a foot rub after a long day
And you wash it all down chamomile and sleep

And you fall back into their grasp
Never having left
And still feeling far away

Youngblood with old souls
Barely a history to have had
Sorting through the things that happened when nothing’s

happened in ages
Still knowing this is yours
Where you belong

Carrying the torch to a fire unlit
But when embers never die
They must be nurtured

Through meaningful breath and dry brush
Until they sting your leg with a spark
And you burn them with your silence

As you climb back onto their lap
And smoke rises to your mind
And smothers your doubts

As you light a bonfire scented candle for the night
And for every night
Rekindling the spark and rolling over to read on your kindle

Soft skin
Flirty grin
Brown eyes
No disguise

Curvy figure
Gazes linger
Lips are bitten
While we’re smitten

No honey as sweet
None other can compete
No addiction so enticing
My mouth’s full of icing

I am alone, yes
But I feel surrounded
By your words
Your desires
Your touch
Your needs
Your energy-

And I hate you for it
And I love you for it
And I need you for it

A voice cuts the quiet with a butter knife
And spreads it across hollow space
A voice that carries passion and remorse
And yet it travels without a face

She sings through her teeth and I can hear her smiling
She sings with lust and charismatic aim
She opens her lungs for a crawlspace
Where I will sit in shame

I can feel her breathy words
pulsating in my neck
I can feel her venom in my vein
But I accept its effect

In her song, I search for her
Though I know her all too well
We've known each other for years and yet
Only I am under her spell

So hear my voice through your soft soprano
And drink your cherry wine
I'll compliment you with my tenor
And harmonize your story with mine

Nimble fingers and humble toes
Each with a different set of fingerprints
He examined each one and kissed them
And then he lay them down

Tight cheek bones and a concave torso
He let his hand run down her jagged ribs
He memorized the veins she tried to open. And his tears took her blood’s place

He felt the lines etched in her skin
And he noticed their strategic placement
His lip quivered when hers lay still
His eyes watered when hers turned pale

He couldn’t collect himself
So he collected thin strands of her hair
He compiled enough to touch her forever
Then he stood, taking her in one last time

I’m burning the back of my throat
Every time I speak to you

I’m pulling the muscles in my neck
Trying to look away from you

I’m spraining both of my ankles
Trying to be far from you

But it feels natural
To be hurt by you

I do not have an hourglass figure
But I do cast a shadow that stretches beyond
The shape of my hips

I do not have toned features
But I am stronger than what you can see
Under my skin

I do not have manicured nails
Because I dig with with my bare hands
And rip out the weeds and the lies I tell myself

That I am not attractive
Because I’m not the one defined that word
But I am the one who wants to change it

I, the owner, will promise to take care of him.
I will love him, powerfully,
I will not hurt him, sourly,
I will feed him, brush him, and play with him.

I, the wife, will promise to take care of him.
I will talk to him, honestly,
I will not damage his ego, purposefully,
I will cherish him, think of him, and be forever with him.

I, the mother, will promise to take care of him.
I will teach him, rightfully,
I will not lose my temper towards him, level-headedly,
I will raise him, trust him, and give him all I have of myself.

I, the young girl, will promise to keep these wishes to myself.
I will act immature, expectedly,
I will talk about boys, not men,
I will suffocate my lovely, accelerated, traditional thoughts.

Because I am not an owner, a wife, or a mother.
And I may never be.