Does it make you feel better
thinking you're better
than everyone in the room

Does it make you feel warmer
making me colder
leaving me alone in a tomb

Does it make you feel smarter
dating the smarter
of the corpses you exhume

Does it make you feel better
taking out everyone better
who you perceive in the room

I want someone
to joke with
laugh with
learn with
talk with
live with

"Do you guys have a thing?"
no
at least not what you mean by that
but yes
we do
have a thing
called friendship

"Did you guys have a thing?"
did you think
now that I moved away
my answer would change
niether of us
ever wanted anymore
than our thing
called friendship

"Don't you miss your thing?"
I do
miss our thing
called friendship

Words trail around
in my head
with no semblance
of organization
no rhythm no rhyme
certainly no sense of time
and I long for
the perfection that used to be
where now I see only me

here to win
or here to run?

I got exactly what I wanted
but I can't avoid being haunted
by the notion that I don't deserve
all the kindness and caring I observe
cause so many great people wanted you
that you wanting me is too good to be true

It's not difficult to go against the crowd
if you have a precedence for doing so

Pushing back on bandwagoning
is often a bandwagon activity

Making all decisions as the exact opposite of the crowd
is still allowing the crowd to decide what you do

It isn't very hard to beat the status quo
but it is to beat your personal precedence

Always going against the crowd
isn't any better than always going with it

The real challenge comes in
making every decision for yourself based on truth

Not going against the crowd
but ignoring it entirely

It's that time of year
yet another season of joy
so dont shed a tear
it's a time to enjoy

but the day it comes it's gone
so much hype
just to move on
it's not my type

we don't need thousands of dollars
worth of "Christmas Stuff"
When we could be giving a holler
all year round of his love

Nothing I haven't already been doing
but also become an aero engineer
Just keep loving people in every moment
but also get married
Engage with my surroundings as I always have
but also become a mother
Continue optimizing every moment
but also win a Nobel prize
Forever live all in, changing the world with every action, as I am now
but also get a PhD

This may be the last sunset I see
so I'll take it in, I'll take it in

This may be the last breath that I breathe
so I'll breathe it in, I'll breathe it in

If lonely is a state of mind,
where is the interstate?

missed it so much
it's a huge crutch

working out
feeling great, and then stepping under that shower spout

missed it a ton
though sometimes it's not all fun

everythings sore
but you just run, swim, crunch more

missed it abundantly
both amazing and excruciating uncomprendably

when it's time to quit
you just feel plain fit

a promise, a plea
drowning in the sea
life, far from me
no roots to this tree

a promise, a plea
I've finally broken free
but that comes with a fee
the universe would agree

a promise, a plea
henceforward, simply
no connections to be
no happiness to see

One decision
can lead to many others

One decision
can change a life

One decision
and we knew about the cancer

One decision
and we lived somwhere new

One decision
And I got to meet you