being bugged at all hours,
at all hours, the ******* phone.

I wish I could incinerate it;
I will, one day.

or I will just end everything and the phone could be collateral damage

sleeping giants

in a trash bag
with the toothbrush
bent like a crackpipe under your boot.
why do you pretend you know so much?
  you know so little and that makes you one to admire;  strike up a conversation with a gypsy
and the
lighter magic will sway with you then.

   but if ukraine
dies, so does the maybe kids

human relations bother me,

they're too much for someone who doesn't need much.
I try to be stoic, but they want me to be a faithful consumer and to give up all of me

I want love but hookers are expensive.
I want silence
but the tinnitus keeps me up at night.
I want solitude but the brick is a little too stiff to sleep on. I want death, but to see it for myself.
and I can't wait to see it

she blocked me finally, well I did first, but she had the last word.
2.1 years gone.
Some say the best way to look at it is as though it was a chapter.
What did you learn?
And if nothing, there's always a new story

I need to prioritize my health again and that means
mental health  too
.

That means absences from all the calls,
and time wasters; people looking to be strung along because they can't find their own path.

you need to detox,
and it takes a lot of self-reflection and
BOREDOM.

boredom heals in the same way starvation
cannibalizes
a tumor through autophagy. give yourself some

time

The reality is we'll all die alone
I'd thought maybe you'd be there
to guide me
through the next realm.
but the reality is
I'll be there alone.

in the fabric of time and space, we are one,
but
  here we're on our own

I've never met a ******* like this.
My ex would complain of my *** tasting
like battery acid and would always put on a pouty child's face when
her *****
was the strongest I've ever had to trek into.
Yet I would make her *** numerous times because I thought I loved her
and could see past superficial
     c r a p.

but this new girl,
***, so young but ***** as though she's a seasoned pornstar. She'll dislocate her throat like a boa and engulf my **** and as I *** and spurt into it she inhales it and then gently moves to my *****
and caresses my **** then kisses all over my thighs and says "thank you daddy, that was yummy"

She does this multiple times a day. some girls are fakers, this isn't one.
I'm looking forward
to the pissplay tomorrow