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Kyle Janisch Aug 2016
Happy faces and false smiles
A strong glare, promoting dishonorable intentions
Fake handshakes, not bearing truth;
And corrupt minds corrupting others
Ones that were once pure, stained with defeat
We are easily persuaded
Overthrown and defeated
We are human beings
Claiming we can conquer a planet
How can we do this?
When we can’t even conquer ourselves?
Kyle Janisch Aug 2016
Today is my birthday and to celebrate my parents have thrown me a party. Unfortunately no one came. I spent my day of birth, a rather exciting day if I do say so myself, by myself, it would appear that no one else would agree with my excitement. I thought I had friends, not many, but I thought that they cared about me. I guess not. I suppose I wasn’t completely alone for my biggest fan and greatest supporter showed up, a person I’m proud to call my mother, but where’s my father? Why hasn’t he shown? I asked my mother where my father is and she says nothing, but instead hands me a present with a card attached. I open the card to see a sloppily written paragraph of nonsense attached to it.
“My dearest son, I apologize I couldn’t be at your party, I’m sorry I couldn’t celebrate your birthday with you, I hope you’re not too mad at me. I unfortunately have bad news for you and your mother. I’m afraid I have left and have no intentions of returning, I am sorry my boy, and I hope the contents of this package help ease the pain. I need you to know that I am not angry at you and my leaving isn’t your fault. You’re a man now and I need you to act like one and take care of your mother in my absence, I love you son, I didn’t wish to tell you like this, but **** happens, right?
Signed with love,

Your father”

My heart broke in a millions pieces and I can see that my mother’s did as well as soon as I relayed this unsavory message unto her. She cried and ran off into the house, I sat frozen, tears rolling down my face, fingers trembling trying to open the present that was supposed to ease the burden my father placed upon my shoulders. I ripped the poorly wrapped package open and tore the box ***** open so that I may gaze upon my redemption. It was an old model train set, specifically the one my father had bought for me ten years ago on my eighth birthday, the one I had wished for, the one my father helped me assemble in the living room, the one that helped create the warmest of memories for not only me, but my father. How did my father think this would ease the blow? How could he be so selfish and self-centered? These were questions only he could answer and according to the card, I wasn’t getting answers anytime soon.
I no longer remained frozen, now a new feeling came across me. It was the perfect combination of cold and warm. It ignited my hatred and froze my feelings of self-love. I went inside the house and headed straight for my parent’s room, specifically aiming for the box in the closet, for it contained my father’s old .357 handgun. I went downstairs and back into the yard. I pressed the gun against my temple and shouted to the heavens “I’m sorry father for I have let you down, I am not the man you think I am, I must leave mother alone the same way you have left me alone.”
Holding the gun firmly with my finger on the trigger, I pull it releasing myself from the pain my father bestowed upon me, in the same motion I now bestow pain upon my mother, who now bears the pain of loneliness.
This wasn’t how this day was supposed to go, but hey, **** happens, right?
Kyle Janisch Aug 2016
Standing tall, standing bold
Standing in the world of old
Charismatic and curious, I dare explore;
This mysterious realm
Confusing and cold;
For that is the overall tone
For its citizens remain clinging to the darkness that shrouds the area
What is this place?
How can I go home?
This place resents my presence;
It craves my soul
I begin to run, shout, and cry
“Dear lord, release me from this prison, please free me”
“He cannot hear you, he will not hear your cries”
The townsfolk chant as they approach
One grabs my head, as another cuts my throat
“You’re free to be with your god, no longer bound to this realm”;
“For now you may sit next to the man bearing the thorn helm”
They chant and sing as my body dies
My soul, no longer in my body, ascends towards the sky
Clouds open and light begins to disperse
Demons laugh and angels weep
Mother won’t understand and father cannot sleep
For now I am among the light
No longer in the realm of old
I am no longer charismatic;
And I am no longer curious
I no longer stand tall;
And I am no longer bold
Now my body may be cold;
But my soul forever remains warmed by the light
I am not in pain, no longer do I know such torment
Instead I now lay on a bed of solace;
Warmed with a blanket of love;
And caressed by the hands of the caring
I am now truly at peace
No longer looking for a release
Kyle Janisch Jul 2016
It’s dark and it only grows darker. The sounds of footsteps ascending the stairs now grow louder as they approach my door. A shadow appears from underneath the door, most likely belonging to him. The footsteps have stopped right outside my door and now a loud deep pounding begins, for he now knows where I am. Why is he here? Why has he come? I kept my end of the deal, just as I promised. I suppose that doesn’t matter now. He now begins his assault on the one and only thing separating him from me and I fear I do not have much time before my room is breached. I fear this may be the end of me…dear lord he has broken through. He stands in the doorway tall and shrouded in long black robes. He holds a weapon, it appears to be a scythe, but it is dark and I am frozen with fear. He draws ever closer, reaching out his cold boney hand to grab me. This is it. My demise is near and if you are reading this I want to make whomever is reading this aware that I kept my promise. My promise that my soul would be up for auction if I did not do everything in my power to save that child. I did what I could, even if it was not much. I didn’t break my promise. I. Did. Not. Break. My. Promise……I’m sorry dear child….I’m sorry my dearest daughter…
Kyle Janisch Jul 2016
Traveling down this road
No idea where it goes
Compelled to find out;
I blindly follow
This trail paved in blood and gold
Signs of others journey to success
Perhaps I too will find what I seek
But what is it that I seek?
I wish to be great, but also want to lead others to greatness
I must hurry without delay
Before procrastination plagues my brain
Halfway through the trail I begin to see
Something that wasn’t meant to be seen
Another traveler on their quest to greatness
They appear to be stuck;
In this thick black muck
I offer a hand and they refuse
Now confused I question why;
They refuse my help to aid them to the sky
“I am fine and I need none but myself’
For now I see that their self-righteousness is the cause of the muck
The traveler soon becomes consumed by the black;
And I continue on, for it is what I must do
Now arriving at the end of this road
I find myself dumbfounded
I did not achieve greatness
Wait…
Perhaps I didn’t achieve greatness because I am already great
Greatness has always lied within me
It was the traveler;
The one stuck in the black
That made me now realize that too much self-righteousness will suffocate you
It will blind you from the light
Disarm you, remove you from the golden sight
Greatness is achieved by helping others;
And when I offered a hand
The muck blinded the traveler
I must now stay true;
To myself and my path
I am great;
And so are you
Kyle Janisch Jun 2016
Here I come
There I go
Traversing through the universe
As a solemn soul
Don’t know where I am going;
And I have no need for directions
I seek no destination
Among the stars is where I belong
Out in the blackness
It calms my being
No longer have eyes;
For I use my mind to guide the way
Here I am, traversing among the stars
For this is my purpose
This is where I belong
Kyle Janisch Jun 2016
Walking through a dark place
Not a care in the world
Unaware of your secret admirer
Observing from the distance
Checking out your skirt
Eyes gazing upon your thighs
Shins covered by thigh highs
He can’t help himself;
At least that’s what he tells himself
He grows ever closer, now you start to sweat
Stomach tight, head filled with regret
Now right behind you, breathing down your neck
Violently throwing against the wall;
Bruising up your neck
Now bent over, for he is fully *****
Pulling down your *******;
Forcing himself inside
Pain and agony fill your soul
Now wishing you would die
It’s almost over;
The world can’t see you cry
Now left in a puddle of tears and blood
The attacker vanishes from your eyes
Forsaken and broken;
Underneath the cold dark sky
You now wonder why
Was this my fault?
I didn’t mean to be the apple of his eye
I wish that I would die;
Or was already dead
My attacker’s face forever burned in my head
I am victim of ****, but it was my fault
I provoked him, looking like a ****
I am a victim of ****, perhaps it isn’t my fault
I did nothing wrong and my attire doesn’t matter
I am a victim of ****, I know it wasn’t my fault
Maybe someone should have told my ******;
**** is against the law
Now I have a message for those used and abused
You are strong, beautiful, and grand
Don’t let your experiences shaken your hand
You were ***** and it wasn’t your fault
You were ***** and it wasn’t your fault
Now go show the world that true strength;
Lies within your soul
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