every time I passed you in the hallways
and we lock eyes together
my pupils will grow bigger ten times more
but your pupils will stay the same
now when I bump into you
my pupils will dilate a bit
but your pupils will stay the same
before I was blinded with delusion
and now I finally snapped back into reality
I found out who you really are
so, when we met again
my pupils will shrink ten times more
but your pupils will stay the same

I’ll lit a match
and place the flame to my chest
so, when my skin burns
my weeping flesh rots
and my bones melt
you can take a small peek into my
heart
and see how much my heart beats
when I’m around you
because I would rather show you how much you affect me entirely
than just say it with my chivalry words

I was sitting in the bottomless pits of hell
staring up at the heavens
with rose tinted glasses
as angels hovered down from the heavens and placed their gentle hands onto my cheekbones
several hundred hands from the underworld holding me and pealing my flesh off in a slow steady pace
until the only thing left of me is my throbbing soul
But I wouldn’t know what I have now become until I get lifted towards the heavens
And see my rotting torso decay halfway down below

Today is the day
It is a special day for someone like me
I wake up and dress myself in my favorite color (which is orange)
went to have a delicious meal that satisfied my stomach
and then I continued my day with a smile on my face

Time passes
and I get a phone call from my lover
when I picked up the call
their voice sounded off
"I'm sorry..." she said with a wobbly voice
I assumed that she just forgot that today is my special day
"Aww it's ok, I knew you forgot but it's alright" I said cheerfully
"I want you to know that I still lo-" but then the phone line stopped

The evening came by quickly
and I knew what that the time has finally come
I'll finally obtain my special gift
and I'm excited to receive it soon
as I lay down in my bed
I hear a knock
and two men walked in and one of them told me "It's time to begin the special occasion" and I agree cheerfully
I walk with them to another room that had a glass wall between
I see my other loved ones behind the glass wall, and they were sitting down in chairs of rows and some of them were trying to avoid eye contact with me

There was one chair opposite of the glass wall
In my eyes, it was my throne
And when I sat down, I felt like a king
the two men stand next to me side by side
and one other man walked in with a piece of paper
the man looks at the paper and announced
"Today is the day where this man will put to rest once and for all
he is known for his horrendous crimes of several murders and will be put in the hands of death." he said

The two men strapped my hands onto my throne
and placed something on my head
I didn't know what rested on my head
but it felt like a crown to my name
one of them gripped onto a switch that was next to my throne
and then asked me
"Any last words ******?"
I looked forward into the crowd of faces of my loved ones
some of them had tears in their eyes
and some of them looked down to the ground
I look back at one of the men
and with a smile on my face, I said
"Thank you for giving me this gift"
I close my eyes
the switch goes off
and my special day comes into a shocking close

Nature is not your ally
she has nothing to do with one person’s actions or feelings
she didn’t ask for your permission
or rather yet your opinion
whether you love her flaws or not
you have to accept what she does
and that also concludes her final decision
for what she wants to become next

If I can just hold onto the life I have
inside the palm of my hands
and give it away to someone from the past or future who has something more important to live for
then I can end my day knowing that I have done something that will be worth it
But I guess for now
I’ll continue to cry to God one more time
and I'll beg to him one more time
to grant this life donation of mine
Because I can’t just continue running forward
knowing that there is someone else who should be running faster than I could ever run

I have one job
and that is to write your story
my wave of words can be put into long stanzas
I write about you until my hand cramps
and I’ll write until your image shines to the public eye
when your status reaches to the top
I’ll stay behind
I’ll stay behind to clean up the malicious mess that you didn’t want me to write about just so your status doesn’t crumble
you have said and done things that no other being can forgive you for
and I must cover it up with my words of propaganda
Because you would rather want people see your “pure” heart
and not your shallow soul