I hate how my eyes gravitate towards you
Like you are some sort of magnet
I hate that I get butterflies at the thought of you
Like you are some kind of sickness
I hate that I always think about you
Like you have infected my brain cells
I hate how you can make me smile
When it’s the last thing I want to do

You would think
Even as I lay here crying
I would feel something
But I don’t
I don’t feel anything
I’m empty

I just wish I had the courage to call you a ******* to your face

it's a good thing i don't share my writing with you
because if i did,
you'd see that
you
are the boy with the ocean eyes and
i
am not really okay.