21

We lose—because we win—
Gamblers—recollecting which
Toss their dice again!

There she was covered in her mother’s nourishment.
The doctor removed the cord and freed her spirit.
The nurse fussed, wrote, cleaned, and wrapped her in her
Gender’s color.
Being experienced with first timers she bent and adjusted my arms
And hands creating a cradle to place my daughter.
No crying, only a dove’s coo. Eyes like Caribbean seas stared up as
She nestled in soft and sweet as a chick.
A bell sounded.
Cathy looked on sweat glistening and spent and smiling.
That wonderful smile, her smile
In a moment my eyes truly opened.
Just a moment.
Such a moment. There she was covered in her mother’s nourishment.
The doctor removed the cord and freed her spirit.
The nurse fussed, wrote, cleaned, and wrapped her in her
Gender’s color.
Being experienced with first timers she bent and adjusted my arms
And hands creating a cradle to place my daughter.
No crying, only a dove’s coo. Eyes like Caribbean seas stared up as
She nestled in soft and sweet as a chick.
A bell sounded.
Cathy looked on sweat glistening, spent and smiling.
That wonderful smile, her smile
In a moment my eyes truly opened.
Just a moment.
Such a moment.

298

Alone, I cannot be—
For Hosts—do visit me—
Recordless Company—
Who baffle Key—

They have no Robes, nor Names—
No Almanacs—nor Climes—
But general Homes
Like Gnomes—

Their Coming, may be known
By Couriers within—
Their going—is not—
For they’ve never gone—

All I know
Is how
I feel

And sometimes I
Wish I
Knew nothing

I can feel myself fade away in a cycle.
Thin skin never did suit me well.
Each day broken up into tiny manageable parts.
Built to be a curated filter my personality must fall through.

This is not repair, but maintenance.
An entropic form that must dilute to remain safe.
I am a capillary of my years, resentful of oxygen.
No pulse can sift through me now.
I'm alone in this vena of an apartment.

Certainly there is no breaking of barriers here.
A refusal to spill blood for the wait makes this almost
pleasant.

Nothing will ever be like the past.