i'm still a little
shifty
sweaty around
the eyes

slightly
mushy
in my undeveloped
frontal lobes

falling into an
abyss between my growling
stomach and the
sweat on my neck

into where
my eyelashes
are replaced by
blackened teeth

the neon chemical
fruit smell of
raspberry hair dye
and johnny cash
i never think anything
through
or maybe i do
i just chose to keep my
thoughts silent and
lie about them later

if i could wish for
one improvement
upon my wardrobe
i would wish for my
father to stop rattling
on about the way jeans
never used to come
pre-faded and how
work was the only way
you added holes to knees

just when i like the way
things are going when it
comes to my past is
just when i am forced
to relive everything
i ever hated

it's not
purple
let me tell you something
it's not
purple
i'm not repeating
pink
it is
raspberry
get it right.

This heart is a symbolic semblance
Of the constitution that we pretend
To know that we feel and apprehend
A literal presentation of emotion

Is this an excuse for our lack of confirmation?
Could we portray what we mean without what's relative?
Is this all that you've come to see?
Or am I just a try hard with an over blown ego?

Have I just stated what is already prevalent ?
An egotist mind within your own assumptions
would be just as forbidding as it's own relativity
To claim that this love is so endlessly brilliant

A cackle from the nothingness of self assurance
The seldom thoughts that lay in dilapidation
Could be seen if it weren't that pride
Was the only benefactor to your own pleasure

And , if it's a must to be who you are
Then why the **** do you strive so hard ?
To be something that you already were
A human being with nothing but humility

I need to grow up but I don't know how
When my feet hurt I ask myself
Could that be? At this young age I have already begun to
        dilapidate?
Or is it just my brain weakening,
Panting, airless, reluctant -

I was not made to live this life, nor were you -

My mind says my legs were meant to
Traverse natural fields
And gape without scrutiny at the beauty
        of things around me
So my body tires walking on tiled hallways
Because it knows better than I
As to what this body was cut out to be -
But it's specifications don't fit
        any of these multitudes of molds
So I cram myself into angles and
        depressions unsuited
        because it's for the best
        it's for the betterment of society
        it's so I have a place on this earth -

But I already had a place, we all did,
Now our bent forms are unrecognizable to
Our Mother who wonders
"Why would my child pervert itself
        out of shape from its beautiful form?"

Through what common pair of eyes do we all see and
        at what point did we decide
        our own couldn't show us truth?