Maybe I deserve this.
Maybe I am the overlooked one
And maybe I ****** up the whole dynamic
I wasn't supposed to be the stoner
The smoker
The "borderline alcoholic"
I wasn't supposed to **** away my money
Or drop out
I was supposed to finish things
Because I'm smarter and I'm supposed to have learned from your mistakes mistakes, mistakes.
I'd you're worried about him then fine.
He's a drug addict and always has been
But lucky him hes invincible and smart and hell sober up well in time before he starts something that will ruin him.
The first one is going fine, he's got a stable job, and life, and ego.
Second one is the fixer, same **** and less ego. He'll pick us all up when we fall.
Maybe you do see what I'm trying and failing to hide
And you talk and worry about me like you talk and worry about them.
But why do I get the short end of the stick?
The one who truly ****** up you leave alone
Yet its me you scream at
Its me you can't seem to cut a break
I don't know what to do
I keep trying to ask for help
I'm just so ******* lost
So instead I turn to this newly acquired taste of liqour and nicotine
To dull this incessant noise in my head
And it ******* helps more than you do.

I'm drowning myself,
Anchoring myself to the bottom of the sea.
I've tethered myself to misery, and I could easily slip from the rope
I could easily free myself from the shipwreck of my life
But I'll just take the easy path
And tighten the knot
No longer straining to be free,
Rather yearning to be another lost soul
Sleeping with the fishes

I crave attention
Like a starving dog
Lost without its owner
I guess.

I crave love
Like a lost romantic
In a sea of tinder and swiping
I suppose.

I crave people
Like a lonely planet
Missing all its own moons
I think.

I don't crave you.
Im not lost without you.
I don't miss you

And I don't care anymore.