If I opened up right now
to show you all my insides
no weak stomachs, no censors
just who i am
it'd make you *****
just like it makes me
and maybe you could stomach it
but even strong, tough people
can get sick when someone coughs on them
who's to say that my personality isn't contagious
that my thoughts aren't contagious
that I'm not contagious
I should just quarantine myself
so that you don't catch me



there's too much going round already

Don't tell me I'm pretty
Tell me that I'm passionate
That I have drive
Tell me that I make you laugh
That I know how to make your day better
Don't tell me I seem nice
Tell me that I'm kind and compassionate
Tell me that I'm not afraid to dream and to dream big
Don't tell me I'm perfect
Tell me the you love me despite my flaws
That you want to spend the rest of your life with me
Don't tell me I'm beautiful
Tell me that you'll be faithful and forever true

I stand here weak
and lonely
afraid of what I'll do
On one hand I want to lie
on the other, tell the truth
but the truth is overrated
and it's really not so fun
because once you say it out loud
you no longer hold the gun
Even if it was aimed at your own head
even if it is still
You are not the one teasing the trigger
You are not the one cheating thrills
So I lie here, sad
I lie here lonely
Until I'm weak and tired
I wait for the moment where my heart will stop
When my brain finally expires
I roll and ruffle
trying to get comfy
and I wish and wish for a message
from someone to help me
And then someone does
someone asks
and I'm faced with the same issue
Keep the gun, or hand it over
Either way, the bullets going through you.

If I were to write you a letter,
fill it with sparkles, and happiness
and a hundred smiles
would it matter that all it read on the inside
was that I don't care anymore?
If all you perceive it to be is love
and affection
to feed your ego and attention
would it matter that the meaning of it was


could you kindly *******?

Maybe if I stay in bed
and never get up
maybe then I can pretend
that who i am is enough