I didn’t want to see you like this,
A bullet at the back of a barrel
Pointed right at me.
Is it because
You're, too, **** proud
To take that gun
And turn it back around.
So, over this now
Lukewarm coffee
I’ll feed you kindness
To mellow you out,
If that kills me
I’ll know you’ll still be bitter
but at least you'll still be around.
I’ll feed you kindness
And if it kills me,
I’ll know that
You’ll still be around
It took me too many now long spent years to grasp this lesson.
So, now I’ll teach you
That when you swallow pride
You radiate joy
To those you’ll leave behind
So follow me
Behind your teeth
Past that lump in your throat
Over those forgotten needs
Let’s slip beyond this
Beyond this together
Through this perilous journey
Please remember
That I’ll be there
that I’ll be there
I will be there
Let’s radiate heat
Like the sun in the spring
Let’s radiate heat
Just to make that dead green.
Let’s radiate heat
Let’s radiate heat
Let’s radiate heat
A joyous dream.
A letter to myself at nineteen from a much softer me at twenty-seven