It's been a very long time
since I was typing at a computer thinking and even longer since I last heard this song.

I find myself thinking,
Overly about my future,
About our future
A future that may not exist.
I love you.
I love you
Repetition never really seemed important.
Repetition always seemed so powerful.

If I sing you songs of what is
will you remember what was?

I'm wounded
I'm wounded
By you
I'm hurt
by what you could never see
because for you
Self reflection is a step, too, far.
For now at least.
There will come a day
I think when you will look back
Maybe
A day that I'm no longer here.
Not dead.
Just not with you.
I can't spend my whole life waiting for you.
I won't,
So
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.

With repetition
Comes the loss of meaning

I am sober
I miss the flick of a bic
The lick of smoke past my lips
I am sober
I miss the taste of whiskey
The bite to make me shiver
I am sober
I miss the intoxication of you
I am sobered.

When we met you smelled like roses
I felt a love for a flower.
A love I never knew I could.
When we moved in together
You smelled like roses
It became the smell of home.
But
You don’t like the smell anymore
I still love the smell of roses
I’m not quite ready to wake up

I’m sick of this endless cycle
Running on empty
While watching my back
I swear I’ve seen this before
But I can’t remember how it ends
I’ll eat myself alive
Trying not to end up dead
I’ll find the path
Just to see my back again
I swear I’ve seen this before
But I can’t remember how it ends

Ouroboros

She was beautiful,
Then,
Probably, still is.
I dont know.
I haven't thought of her in a long time.

We only met in passing a few times.
Once in the basement of a party
Once in my bedroom,
Once while I was working
And
The last time,
That last time
was on the roof of a parking deck

Each time she was beautiful.
She always smelled of autumn.
I was in love.
With her.
Yet, she would never take me.
I think,
it's because of my feelings for her.

Someone she met so few times.

I thought of her today
While listening to music.
I felt as though
she was listening to me sing
She was listening to me sing
About how much I'm looking foward.
I dont think of her any more.
But,
I know I'll meet her again.

In my final moments
she'll offer me her hand.
To take me as a friend.

I am rooted
Here I sit
Here I stay

In the breeze I watched you fall
I've seen your sprout grow strong and tall
with your roots still young and thin
you may leave my planted kin

while my leaves would give you shade
in the sun you'll need to play
So, off you go. Grow thick and strong
And follow the winds sweet sad song.

I shall still grow.
I ebb and flow.
I am still rooted I can not go.

In your winter I'll send my leaves
Wait for them upon that breeze
All my love our memories

You may be far
And I still here
But
In the breeze I'll hold you near

Mix me blue
Mix me pink

I'll never know
Just how to think

Mix me pink
Mix me blue

Who am I?