i'll squeaze out the words and make them my allergy
an interesting itch that makes me bleed

It wasn't me but, it's me now.

.
out!
.

you are a book
with gold binding
unique

.
Brubeck &
Daffy Duck
.

music
simple

Take me to the festival
I'll bow at your feet
Leave me in the mud

It's a Nina Simone kinda' night tonight
Everything is plas
tic
isn't it a pity
It's 3:30am
& the gin
just kicked in

i need tea

.
good question
.

What are you doing!?
Same as you.
Intellectualising.

i wanted a solid ground
but i don't have one
so i dance on my feet lightly
with absolute passion

softly
as you stare into my eyes
i see stars
and i wonder why
you share my love
i feel the glow
of your heart
standing by
tenderness
tender- ness

you crown me
in the city lights
my heart wanders
aimless- ly
hand in hand
shimmering in the spot light
grey roads
turn to blue
as you say goodbye
i start to softly cry

why are the burnt bits always so

tasty

....

i sit and i try to eat and i sleep and i drink and i think and i look at my feet and i can't help but shake up my
soul
i listen to music and i dance and i cook and i tap my fingers on the table and i look at my nails and don't eat the
food
i sing and i sing in harmony to myself and the sound on the radio it's old school and it's new school and it's good and it's bad but when it's good it's pure and
warm
it's winter so the heaters on and the slippers are snug and the gin is spicy and cooling and hitting the spot in the full moon no moon dark and
light
i think of the love that isn't and the love that is never found and the love that is and the love that just
isn't
i've got the music in my head and the lyrics in my head and the words repeating all at the same time singing speaking thinking and it's all
silence
the owl is still and the orange tree is still and the tree of life itself is still and the beat repeats repeats repeats
re re re r r (glitch)
repeats


....

....

i look in the mirror and i don't mind what i see
but sometimes
i just can't take that sideways glance
just in case i see the monster
that's always on my shoulder

....

How can you possibly....
Why?
I

Let your mind rest
In the weeping of your stricken heart

do it.
okay!
don't do it.
don't do anything at all?
do nothing.
nothing?


.....

You regret what you said but it was so simple
So pure
You wait for the fire to die down
Their superiority turns to dust in the fireplace
Ultimately

Footsteps in your dreams and red velvet curtains turn the stage
to bare boards
quiet
Their silence is killing you

the wind was knocking at my door, my window, my pain.
i'm tired but all I can think of is birthdays
i hear an echo through the phone
deep in my ears
delusion
a whisper that I can barely hear
passion and heat

.....

You know when you feel that excitement of life in your throat?
it's a guttural tone
The gratitude zone.
Primeval.
When it hits you
You know it and you smirk on the right side of your lips

I SEE YOU ZIP PAST THIS POEM
zippidy ******* do dah
Blues Fest Byron Bay Australia
The best ******* pie I've ever eaten
kangaroo
Had to high five the guy who made it

it was a narration of a humble detonation
a crack in contented gratification
obscure and concealed in the shade
an observant witness
it represented a courteous compassion
an unpretentious kindness
hidden, camouflaged, cloaked in a shroud of dappled shade
satiated complacency
the birth and death had wings and scales
wild, raw and logical instinct turned to slumber
a stupor of beginnings and endings
diurnal, nocturnal on a crowded street
pure natural installations of respect and dignity honour the alter
the ignorance of youth stands with the wise sage of balance
captivated by the significant symbol of seniority
innocence and age poised in the seduction of voyeurism
safe and protected to witness and contemplate the invulnerable
a lazy satisfied and secluded pleasure appeased
rest and doze as the serpent and the bat embody the epitome of survival and death
strip, shed and peel the obscurity of night and day and embody the creation of bleached pigmented hues

you don't come out the same person you were when you went in
boundaries
they will question you
self control
a curiosity

I find men intriguing
Men with rhythm and strong but gentle hands
Confidence, determination and courage
Who walk with direction and intention with every step -
Without even knowing it
You are a protection against the man who is lost
Who has no self worth
There is no woman who does not respect a man of honour
These men are a rare commodity who do not violate human dignity
They are an intimidation justified

i feel my words (i hear my soul)
it is a warmth that
heals me

okay so
let's just go back to self indulgence

I’d go to bed but I can’t get up

Well Janet
I caught you in the end baby
It's in the blood
Under the November moon
'62 must've been a good year
The plums, blackcurrants and dark cherries curled around the vanilla
The wild geese flourished and the money tree thrived in the silver lining
24 days and the luck kicked in
Stop right there girl!
But you know you're no going to
Are you bored?
"Look at that Janet, a Blue Spotted ***!"
belly laugh
Driving straight into the rainbow

forgive me for who i am

when you're old things don't work
the step rots
the shower rose clogs
the stew sticks to the pan
it always comes back to the mind ****
a **** would be a whole lot better but
it isn't going to happen
bring on the music
the tequila
the midnight promised kisses
the skin - on - skin
that text that - isn't going to happen?
but it sounds - good
a whole lot of fun
chocolates filled with cherries
long hair
no fear

the truth is that when you're suicidally unhappy
words
twist and **** and grind deep in your throat like a virus
switch
still can't swallow?
but it's easier to breathe
speak and dance and skip high on toes
my back is itchy
scratch
wallow in the op shop blanket soaked and dried in the sun until crisp
sharp
beautifully worn
comfortable
solitude binding
i'm going to share my blanket with you tonight
my water bottle
my hot water bottle
fever has turned to cool
like toes under the ice water dripping from the down pipe on a stinking hot day in the reflection of the red
dirt
i too
am confused

I'm an ol' woma in a young woma
i'm a young woma in an ol' woma

I am a woman

calm down girl
Nah! **** it!
carry on

.......

Healing the mind is a process
calming
We need to surround ourselves with beauty
In sight, sound
Tactile
feeling objects
Stress is unforgiving
unless you forgive it yourself
It's a practice
forest bathing
Ocean cleansing, constantly moving
Strawberries and hibiscus in the sunlight
Stroking the forehead of your child
gently
The smokiness of the molasses
The sweetness of the maple syrup
the purity of the water

.....

....
i've got something in my eye

It could be life.

the actress said
i lost one line
one line
and now i'm here
with
you

cusped in hands as i sit alone without the paranoia of you and yours



alone


.....

Avocado, coconut, chic peas and chic - ken
brrrk
brrk brrrk brrk
Oranges, apples, bananas
Mc Donald's for dinner?
Every night!
"kids, let's eat out tonight and every night at.....  Mums house!"
Spicy coconut lentils
Moroccan Chicken with dates
Chic pea pasta
Brown rice
WILD RICE
hang on - this is a bit weird
just wild food eating whilst listening to a blues piano keyboard

try
again

Pain lies with the living and their perception of guilt
Not the dead
For the deceased is free
It is that thought of their sufferance that stops the rope from its short but lethal tug
If non existent time ensues
Happiness returns but remember
Had guilt not played its part
White light would have been the utopian end

i'm turning to honest
real
i was numb and not hearing your voice calling
i want to be sticky with sunshine and sand
i want to be an organic woman but i'm living in a world that demands work and discipline and only breathing from monday to friday at lunch times
my cake burned because i wanted it to be perfect
my cake is perfect
because it burned

Nevertheless.
Morality reigns - doesn't it.
The principles of freedom.
Of speech.
Of action.
Remember - you yourself - meet eye to eye.
Nature itself will be the universal change of everything you see.
Commit to the conscience.
The global consciousness.
Every experience is a meditation for the love of mankind.
All the wrongdoing - is transparent.
Who is your father - your mother?
Yes.
It comes back to life doesn't it.
Love comes without ignorance.
What do you call - light?
An inevitable quiet correctness?
Absolute binding laws, of our actions, will not reign.
Lets be practical.
Dissemble suspicion?
Let's see what happens with intelligent beings.
Apply and illuminate truth and reality.
Which now - it certainly not is.

It’s like a sink hole
Everything's going along then
Boom
You’re falling
You hit the bottom again and you have to find your way out of that
***** muck
Don’t look at me
I’m filthy
***** muck
I’ll reach up as far as I can until
It hurts

My adrenalin is curdling
Douse me in rose water to dampen the steel blue and olive green in the mist
breathe
Gratitude and silver kettles
stepping stones
Complacent?
no
Diffident.
naivete surrenders

....

Let's slow life down just a little
with a sprinkle

...