What happened to the beautiful boisterous screaming queens of the 80's full of Gloria Gaynor dancing on bars & pianos & teasing & strutting & grabbing life by the *****?
Every time I go to the Op Shop & see a pair of size 11 patent leather red pumps I think of you & put them on & walk around the shop just to remind me of the fabulous times.
Are you making lounges in the shape of Cadillacs or corsets or sculpting **** - tail glasses delicately gold leafed - centre table?
Back up x 30 in the Botanical Gardens at Mardi Gras & remember the good times, the sad times, the Carmen Miranda, feather boer, wig, **** & lipstick times my friends........
smooth jazz grand piano

.......

let's all not
sleep together

raw
blunt
true
the simplicity of words
consultation & exchange
a caress in the fray of animated hands and eyes
and breath
distance near
orbit the sensitivity
conversational sensibility
withdraw with gentle salutation
don't look back
or you won't leave

I come back to the waterfall I borrowed that flooded my house
I gave it back

Hi
It's all going to be okay
Hold on
You
Are not alone

I sit with my legs crossed &
All I want to do is
Open them.
I don't think you could handle the
Smell.
I can see you
Dribbling, so
I tuck my skirt into my knickers
Only on one side
And sache to the bathroom

As I sit
I ponder
and.....
*** to the conclusion that,
It's all in the perspective
So?

and then
all of a sudden
it becomes an invisible part of the past
in which you don't exist

Blessed with a broad grin & a dance that commands attention!
Spit into the well and see the ripple
The swirl
The flowing skirt
Cool breeze & flower petals saved and dried with the lucky coin in the lucky box wrapped in sage green velvet
Gecko squeals and spiders weep as dance shines at midnight with moss under bare feet & mushrooms glowing in the dark sky
Tingling feet like sherbet on a soft serve at the country fair
See the fairy lights?
They're shining

I realise that my delusions are far more pleasurable than my reality.
So I'm going to hang on to my delusions
And live them every single day.

i thought i had an appointment tomorrow
i didn't get a txt to confirm

You are the oracle
It's all right
The uncommon thought
Hallucinations chime
Detonate like a bell
A low slung gong
There is a distinct difference in the stance of the bourgeois
And you
It's exceptional
It is your faith that drinks in creation itself
It determines your mood on occasion
Truth is a flood
An undeniable perception of things in the mirror
Be overwhelmed by your objective mood and laugh
Accept the deluge
Serve

I'm sweating your ******* out of my skin and I'm soaking in it
I'm soaking
Wet
My soggy misinterpretation
Your narcissism is sublime
Above and beyond the call of duty
I'm
Choking
You're shoving it down my throat and I can't
breathe
back up
back up

.....

that is all

we're all caught in the prison

I grin as I look into the new year
A new state of mind and heart
There is no ****** clarity anywhere to be seen
No expectations and no lined up jars
I smell earth on the breeze
There's a hum
A beautiful vibration in the dirt beneath my feet
listen

......

i don’t care about that
i care about the smell
.....

the pag
Well
there you go
it's all about the 'pag'
what ever the ** that is

You hold me in the palm of your hand
I try to leap out of it but that leaves me suspended in mid air
You climb inside my head & start eating it from the inside out
I'm like a rabbit in a warren
Running from one place to the next
Banging in to walls of dirt & dust
There is no light down here & it's hard to breathe

You play with your hair and scissor your fingers and dance on your toes and get a kick out of watching me squirm

All I can hear is the wind in the trees now but everything seems so still and silent
It's hot
But my heart feels ice cold
I haven't eaten for three years so I'm hungry and I'm tired even though all I do is sleep

You bounce

Listen ..... ..... .....

That is the guttural scream from my soul
My arms are outstretched reaching for freedom

I don't know what to say other than I'm glad to be back.
I've been wondering what I did with my time.
Then I realised I was writing.
Writing it all down.
So.
Here I am.
Back on the black board.
Rub it off?
Leave it there.
whateva
But.
Here we go.
Again.

:-)

it's a pandemic panic
i'm just hanging out & listening to
Anderson . Paak
what about you?
i've got the red cabbage & brussels sprouts roasting in the oven
with a little salt and pepper & olive oil
it's going on in my house
dancing  in the kitchen
the heater's on
no one's f*ing with me tonight
what about you?




.....

I stood in the wind and I could smell myself
I liked it
It was heady
I caught myself on the wind and it was good
I turned and walked away and was sad that it was only me that caught it
smile

......

If you take my money I want it back
I won't ask for it but if you turn up with a bit of paper for me, without me asking
I'm going to respect that
It's easy to forget the $$$ when it isn't yours
I do love that look of surprise when the money is given back like
I forgot
hahahaha
What a laugh

Run to the dawn, run run, the sun rises over the pain and the head within your head within your head, stretching, bending making no sense but it's real.
Run to the end of day, body over there, mind in the palm of your hands and looking at it so - strange.
heal

.....

Ya gotta play the game babe
If ya wanna stay in it

I'm a simple woman
There is no complexity
I sat opposite her and
She turned her back
It took me a while to process that
I wonder if she knows happiness
Her dress was emerald green and ruby red
I drank another glass of wine
Intellect is intimidating
Until you drink that last glass of wine
Then?
You get lost in the hallway
Wondering
Wandering
I sat opposite my nemesis
She gave me what I wanted
truth

......

I’m standing under the mirror ball looking up
blind
Where are you?
no where
Show me your identification badge
SECURITY SECURITY
my smile slides to the left
like a child
My whispering voice says I can’t find you
BUT I’M NOT LOST
anguish
I know where I am standing

find me

I see comfort in my work because it's easier there
I'm not starving anymore
I ate the cake
I rub my thumbs together and stare at them, wondering
The universe is asking me WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I don't know!
But if it's good, I'll take it.
I'm confused
In the void
There is a transition happening
I'm caught in the middle of a muddle bug
I speak Latin don't you know
not
Oh My God!
Your knees are bleeding

My (in)sanity has gone on holidays
It's in a place that's fluid, formless & welcoming
Cool, warm
My breadbasket is full, expanding - comfortably
Everything is relaxed and - lazy
I catch the songs of my childhood
Crystal dreaming
Silently screaming
That liquid breeze
I fold into myself and nurture the memories
Beautiful solitude
Private, personal space
No one can see me so
I'm safe here
Let this time never end
Everyone is on the move
And so am I
Being me
At home in myself

"not of an age, but for all time"

My hands are clasped in prayer to my forehead, my lips, my heart
I wipe lipstick off with my softly clenched fist
Naked face
I'm walking on the footpath beside asphalt road
I collide with city traffic where lights blind
And duck eggs make living smooth
this is a whole planet day off
My sister, the turtle shares a map of the snake that shows where the river is
It's deep
The port wine magnolia shares space with lemon myrtle
The creek slides in on the side like the footpath
I have a collapsed thought reclining in my chair
vegetables baked into the omelet
Wild food speaking
Unknowingly I fly
Straight into the sun
"With spectacles on nose my youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
My shrunk shank, and my faint voice, turning again toward childish treble, pipes and whistles in my sound.
Second childishness and mere oblivion ensues.
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything."
Steel guitar flick - riff
The morning holds on to flowers and summer and clear free days that shimmer in the candle light under the tree
shine
Fly away

As excited as I may seem
The sky still shines blue black at night
The candle wax drips and sticks
Drum beat repeats
twitch
But through the night I sleep - sometimes - on and off
And in the light - I run and pat dogs
I don't see you but you are always seeing me so
I hold my chin in my hand and contemplate
It all

if a woman wants to see you
you have to find her

savour the delusion
exclusion zone
steel grey cloud
luminous silvered trim
grin
morning light
sunrise touching fingers stretched
twist & twitch
listen
a belated moon
skin
ascending golden shadows
birdsong
sans angst

i walked in to my house and breathed an Adonic perfume
it was purely
old dying flowers
An answer to the question
i saw illuminance in the heavens
i looked out my back door and saw
drive in movies social distancing
An answer to the question
i could hear a great chorus
it was john butler
swaggin' in ochre red dirt
An answer to the question
freedom.
Freedom
i saw a goblet full of colour from a profound fruit descendant from the rose
it was wine
bargain basement
An answer to the question
one eyebrow ascended to the left
only one
and a slight grin to the right
An answer to the question
Freedom.
it can be simple
it can be hard

i like it elementary

with a broad smile at the end
.....

you know when you look for words so hard
scouring through words
it's all in my reality with no words in an index or list
alphabetically speaking
i'm not sure if the words i'm looking for ......
ahhhhh
they're floating on air
exist

It was a balmy evening.
Allan was from the Quentin era.
He hid his feminine reality but not his henna red.
The lights were dim and the pool was cool man.
It was winter but the moon shone bright and warm, just like Allan.
With port wine magnolia flowers in the water, he swam like Esther Williams.
Alone.
He was the most beautiful man I've ever seen.
Breaching.
I watched Allan from a dim room through the glass door.
My heart still feels his freedom on that night.
He has passed now.
His moments of pure joy still remain in all that knew him.
What a deep breath he was.

Your shadow is sublime
It appears on a dismal day
Green is the colour of my earth
It makes the sun shine brighter
You are a reflection of thought
The scent behind my shoulder
Everything has changed but you remain the same
A shallow calm swell in the clear turquoise ocean
Rolling reflection
How do you do that?
What is your pain?

We all get caught in the spiders web
It's not until the morning dew releases you that you realise
It's simply sticky

ya know Trish?
i've been feelin'  f.ck..g  GREAT lately
& ya know what else Trish?
it's  f.ck..g  awesome!

lost in the woods
banging into dust and earth
looking for the way out
breathing isn't a priority

Trish. Grab my hand!
.

I'm gunna drink until I can't drink any more
I'm gunna wallow in the bull$hit that makes me mad
All of it
F<ck the gratitude
I'm goin' straight in for hate tonight
Spill it
****t it
Tongue in cheek it
With pursed lips and squinted eyes

Every time I see imperfection
I see truth