I felt no shame I did not cry
When I shouted: "Let him be crucified!"
And you forgave me
It was I who turned away and denied
Who swore to all I did not know you
Only later did I realize all along you knew
And you forgave me
It was I who betrayed you with a kiss
After all this time it has to end like this
And still you forgave me
I could not watch so I ran away and hid
I was a coward a scared little kid
And you forgave me
It was I who slept when you needed me most
It was I who foolishly abandoned my post
And you forgave me
It was I who mocked you and I who jeered
I who rent your clothes and plucked your beard
And you forgave me
It was I who condemned you out loud
To appease the maddened mobbing crowd
And you forgave me
It was I on your left that told you to prove
If you are the Christ, then stop this and move
And you look at me with love
It was I on your right who asked "Remember Me"
And in spite of everything, all of my history
In that moment I was free

It was I who shared the burden on the road
Helping you to shoulder that heavy load
It was I who stayed close to the very end
Why you would suffer though I could not comprehend
It was I who tenderly wiped your face
A small act of love, and mercy and grace
It was I who anointed and dried your feet with my hair
Sparing no cost to show you how much I care
It was I whom you saved from a life of sin
You would die to make new life begin
It was I whom you called from the sleep of death
And I watch as you now give your last breath
I who gave you life now mourn and weep
My heart is pierced with sorrow so deep

It is you who took our sin and shame
It is you who took on all the blame
It is you who died so I might live
It is you who said to me: "I Forgive"
It is you who looked with loving eyes
It is you who saw past all disguise
It is you who make me reconciled
It is you who call me beloved child
It is you the pure spotless sacrificial lamb
It is you my Lord my Savior, the Great I Am

I have a rather large distaste
of those who come with haste

They are sympathetic to your blight
they wish you well and a goodnight

But

Only over the telephone screen
what a way to feel seen

I'm here for you, whatever I can do
still they never come to see you

And

In the case you don't respond
they figure there is no reason to correspond

Even when you sit up to your knees in tears
as you watch your world crumble to your darkest fears

Though

This perhaps is a simple overreaction
and a fail on my part to take action

In which case I do sincerely apologizes
for my lies, unworthy cries, that begged you to sympathize

Why can't my
Heart be empty?

From here to you I say
Writing is your healing,
Never let it get away.

A giggle like yours can chime for hours in my head, though I'll cherish them instead—for the hours I decide to lie in bed.

I know time will pass, yet I lay in my bed with an aching heart.
While the time arrives—the warm days too will soon die.

I'll wait for you knowing this, hoping you'll give me another laugh.
The days turn colder without the warmth of your embrace—to continue on with lonelier days.

In a time where I'd considered you as my best—I'd been humbled to remember I'm simply one of many.

A multiple-choice question in a test,
A weakened bird among many in a nest,
The person you've left on his heart unread.

Though, for my passing, time will never change.
I could only wish for my warm days instead.