The exact day... He took a ride in that hearse
Down King st. And First
I was hurt
I tried to inflict that pain elsewhere
...
It didn't work
It made things worse
Made me know that I was gonna get put in the past tense
Makes a little sense why I don't have sense
I been tense every since then
But the things I do; don't invoke as amends
So am I hurt, or am I jus selfish?
I'm just lost
I'm just helpless
So I only do what I know
What I was taught
What they showed
Who is they?
Should I repeat something I learned from them?
I try to consider what I learned from him
But the words he spoke is not audible, to a mind that can't think logical
A heart that is sorrow
And a life that doesn't care about tomorrow
Is that even a life?
Well I'm alive
But I'm not ripe

I love to do what have been done to me
I don't like how slow she sings, but I help keep the record on repeat

Contribute to the hostility of the streets, which make each corner so bleak
Keep families weeping
Throwing away possessions
Cleaning
Sweeping

Bringing congregations together,
Tearing mutual amities apart

Not valuing life
Maybe I will when the light shines on me

Until then my path is dark
...
He's dead , how do I follow my heart?

The doctor ... says...  I have a serious issue...
He say it's life threatening you guys
...
I don't know what I'm gonna do...

All this research
This inaccurate treatment
Being high to distract my lows
Not really knowing what to suppose
He gave me a date...
He claims it's an estimate, but if I keep feeling like this; this could be it.

He sends me home each visit, telling me that this is rare, but common
It happens, but don't normally conclude in such trauma
His coat, or stethoscope doesn't always mean that he has the antidote
...
As for the symptoms:

•The dry skin,
She used to help apply the Shea Butter
•My hair all over my head,
It was funny when she brushed my hair, she didn't know what she was doing
•Long nails,
She HATED that
•Morning breath the entire day
I would chase her all over the house trying to give her a kiss
•chill bumps •shivers •teeth chattering
We used to cuddle to stay warm, so we didn't use the furnace
•starvation •no appetite
She cooked 5-7 times throughout the week
•restless
I could not fall asleep until she got in from work
•angry •outburst • complaining
She always said "ahhh shut up and get over it punk"
•Listening to the talk radio station LIPZ 102.5 to be exact
I gave her my undivided attention
•heartache
I loved her

That's why it's difficult for Dr. Carmichael to prescribe me medicine
How am I suppose to treat this?
There's no special enough specialist
No surgeon so precise
Not even the smartest scientist,
divinest pastor, or
The most thoughtful psychiatrist that can save my life...

I'm doomed
All I do is sit on the couch in the house that will soon be a tomb
...
My hope is fading
My pulse has feinted
My arms are folded
My back is *****
Back and forth
My rock is steady
... My soul is light
And my eyes is heavy
I'm taking the departure hard
...
Love can be deadly

Have you ever wondered?
... Out of all them people,
Who is the ONE that you wish you were still with today?
Then, until now...
Still hanging around
Maintaining
Yea yea yea, "everything happens for a reason, what goes around comes around, or he works in mysterious ways"
I AIN'T TRYNA HEAR ALL THAT ****
...
SHE'S GONE
She left, doing the only thing that was right
She was down, but had to get up and go
Even though we moved on; I want her back
If this world was mine, she'll be the bodies of water and the lush that fill my map
And instead of trying to dig up dirt
I'll float her boat
Right alone the coasts, the rivers
Offer coats, when she shivers
...
I wonder where is she now?
Now since I have my act together
How can I assure her that deviation is not directing my intentions this time?
That I'm not just trying to make a scene?
I'm not about to settle for another cameo role!
Nor am I trying to win a Oscar
I have more than general hospitality
I want her to have all my children
So we can cherish the days of our lives
Lasting longer than a soap opera
... Before I just wanted to be a show stopper
Not really making change
When she was hurt, I just wanted to assist her
Not be the nurse
But at first I didn't realize; I didn't register for that
I posed to be more than what I seemed
Not being actuality to what she dreamed
She didn't get ideas from out the blue
I really said them things
But it's not until now that I really mean them
Now and thens are different
Every now and then I wish she knew that
Only if I was like this from the gates
...
But since I wasn't its too late

What you don't know can't hurt you
... Shiiiittt
What you are unaware of can **** you
Take advantage of you
Oppress you
Neglect you
Stress you
You don't have to be Russian
Just be oblivious, and America will roulette you
...
Educate yourself
Young men
Young women
We the content of the masses
Who turn our backs on one another,
Only to bear the government's lashes
They been digging up gold
Only to treat us like plastic
But truth is everyone want to be a rapper
Not knowing they're signing up to be a wrapper
We see success as being on the other side of the camera
So we take note of celebrity's smiles and laughter
But never consider their jobs as actors
Actors and actresses putting on emphasis
Exaggerating
And we're just gravitating
So much in support
Can't realize the distortion
The propaganda they're forcing
That money makes us
Makes us familiar
Makes us happy
Makes us better
And schemingly they show us that we can acquire everything without being educated
So the dumber you present yourself; the bulkier
the pention
Listen!
Television
Is Tell-A-Vision
We're watching a show, a performance
A rehearsed message
A vow
A clown
A style
That have beeeeeeeennn around
...
We have to think logically
Have patience
And understand that there is one life
But many worlds
Find out which one is yours
Obtain knowledge before you explore
...
If you're not wise, you don't control your guide
But if you arm yourself with knowledge, awareness; lore
You open the doors

Who understand me more than myself?
Exactly!!
That's why I never look around for help
Love been scarce every since I was whelped
Into this world when no one cares if you whelm your resistance
Here, there's no value of tradition
No nature of culture
Just individuals
Lack of spirituality
So many different religions, but no one speaks to humankind
...Just their own kind
If it doesn't matter to them they don't mind
If you don't see it how they visualize, then you must be blind
Leave it up to them, they wouldn't even want the rest of us to synchronize
The world run on the fact of us being divided
And it is the innocence in me and you that is being misguided
I was raised to be a menace
But The things I witnessed
Made me wanna change positions
Come to realize
That good intentions can conclude in your non-existence
But don't let me persuade you to resistance
Especially if you're not from the bottom of the hill
If you never had to deal
If you always had cooked meals
Always had crisp bills
To me all the things that seemed so surreal
But I still know how you feel
No one get a break
But coming from where I'm from
We were never fixed in the first place
Only thing free is negativity
Shaped to destruct the streets since elementary
Teachers weren't even supplementary
Everyone who surrounded me was drowning
And if we tried to sniff out a plan we were hounded
They never prevented crimes, they just enforced the law
So we got what we wanted, but we couldn't keep it
They allowed us to do our dirt, in order to sweep it
That's why I'm offended when America fear me
When all I did was play defense
I'm trying to put a end to this disastrous sequence
Someone told me I was too ridiculous
And that I needed to show lenience
I replied
That's the reason why our entire skin tone has been living with grievance
We just need all allegiance
We don't need no alliance
The hell with compliance
Amongst ourselves we must have reliance

Because without everyone's input we will never reach our triumph