DAF: Poems

143 · Mar 2019

familiar faces

DAF Mar 2019

familiar faces

sad again
but feel it less
ill take that as a sign

#familiar

142 · Oct 2019

masks

DAF Oct 2019

masks

often i can see the sadness
through the smiles and the jokes

laughter can only drown out so much

142 · Jan 2020

One-sided Conversation

DAF Jan 2020

One-sided Conversation

What keeps you up at night?

I ask myself with no reply

142 · Jul 2023

Floating

DAF Jul 2023

Floating

There’s a journal in the cabinet
Right beside my bed
In it filled are pages
Covered in pencil lead
Scribbled are the things I’d never dare to say
Thoughts that have no voice
Dreams that have no place

141 · Feb 2019

Duh

DAF Feb 2019

Duh

Tragic is the list of things
Sadness till it's Dizzying

#sad

141 · Apr 2019

simmer

DAF Apr 2019

simmer

Uneasily await
Fingers tap while knees they shake

Only stillness settles dust

139 · Oct 2018

Hearts Don't Break In Halves

DAF Oct 2018

Hearts Don't Break In Halves

love used to be
lovely and beautiful
now comes the nervousness
trouble for cuticles

broken frames
of pictures we'd take
hearts that break so ill sit here and shake
my head and say na not again
liquor in hand as i nod off to bed

it's times like those that i never feel lonely
til i wake up distressed with no one to console me
i swear that i'm solely devoted to fortys
where once was my heart theres a hole in my chest
my love used to be whole and now its a fifth

132 · Oct 2019

Hide and Seek

DAF Oct 2019

Hide and Seek

While out looking for my sanity

It seems I’ve lost my mind.

129 · Sep 2020

soured fruit

DAF Sep 2020

soured fruit

she always smelled like oranges
now i stay away from citrus
distance is
tough
but you see trust
is miles away

129 · Nov 2022

trapped in a portrait

DAF Nov 2022

trapped in a portrait

images in picture frames
shelves to hold them up
wrinkled smiles gloss over
eyes that shout for help
silence
nobody to the rescue
no distant sight of shore
hopeless

128 · Jan 2022

Not enough

DAF Jan 2022

Not enough

And it all is too much
As much as I want me to stay
As much as I want to
As much as I want to

125 · Oct 2022

Couple Past Midnight

DAF Oct 2022

Couple Past Midnight

2am turns the bend
My mind begins the quiet
I lay awake with sober thoughts
That murmur amongst the silence

How am I?

Am I good?

Have I done enough of what I can?

Questions left uncertain
Destine to be ******

116 · Jan 2021

writer's talk

DAF Jan 2021

writer's talk

once again the words run out
i sit and wait for their return

116 · Feb 2021

message received at

DAF Feb 2021

message received at

sugar i've been sweet to you
why the sour promises?
honey we don't speak at all
how the silence stings

116 · Feb 2021

covet

DAF Feb 2021

covet

sometimes you catch a glimpse of it
the way things used to be
momentarily
wondrous
however fleeting
odd what gives rise to such occasions
if only one could hold it

114 · Oct 2019

Double-sided Cardstock

DAF Oct 2019

Double-sided Cardstock

Blank Pages
Leave Lots Of Room For Prose
The Best Poems
Have Not Been Written Yet

114 · Feb 2021

second guessing

DAF Feb 2021

second guessing

i am not faster than tomorrow
one cannot outrun the calendar
the stopwatch never ceases
hands of time are always at work
once i grasp this certainty
i will move on

111 · Jan 2021

Journal in the Cabinet

DAF Jan 2021

Journal in the Cabinet

I vow to never break from writing
Though my writing may take breaks
For when heart shatters
Momentarily wrists do too
Stayed away
Left pages blank
Spent the time just missing you

111 · Jun 2022

nothing nice to say

DAF Jun 2022

nothing nice to say

teeter totter
jibber jabber
tangled tongues unwind
pitter patterned
t-shirt tattered
by words once said unkind

110 · May 2019

How's it going?

DAF May 2019

How's it going?

Lately I've been checking in on me much less

What once was twenty times a day has dwindled to maybe twice a month

I wonder how I'm doing?
We talk much less myself and I
Its difficult to get the whole picture
Perhaps distance shows progress
Can't hold my hand forever
I worry I should worry more
Just hope it's going well

#mental

109 · Nov 2022

when the tongue twists

DAF Nov 2022

when the tongue twists

hope so
or hope soon
disappointment rounds the corner
photos
of long June
again begin to surface
missteps
misspoken
miss the lips that led
lips the lied
mystified
wish that hope was dead

109 · Jan 2021

Terrors

DAF Jan 2021

Terrors

I've been having nightmares
Dreams that shake me out of sleep
Moonlit hours
Now comprised of open eyes
I lie and fight the bedsheets
Later and later my eyes shut
Until late becomes early
Birds chatter as my head hits the pillow
Still there is no divorce
It seems as though
Sunrise brings no solace

109 · May 2019

no second chances

DAF May 2019

no second chances

My words are not beautiful
                        Nor are they unique
Swear they've all been said before
                              Confessions of the meek
Forever dreamed of wearing mask and cape
                                     Presently it's hard to sleep
Close my eyes so I can lie awake
                                                             Thinking of promises I didn't keep.

108 · Oct 2020

Check Engine Light

DAF Oct 2020

Check Engine Light

Here's the truth.
I lied.
When I said my car broke down
My vehicle was fine
However I very much was not.
I apologize
It was just easier
To say it couldn't drive
Rather than I had no drive.
Much more relatable
Everyones had to replace a part or two
I wish fixing me were so simple

108 · Mar 2019

early a.m

DAF Mar 2019

early a.m

conversations with the moon
such a night owl that one
awake until the the sun is up
back and forth about the past

#up

106 · Feb 27

without a paddle

DAF Feb 27

without a paddle

and I’m not sad anymore
in fact I cant feel a thing
not from anger
not from kindness
not when instruments sing
emotionally muted
my tender tenderized
terrorized
and then burnt up
put out and then deep fried
I’d become despondent
then drifted out to sea
no longer look for shore
decided to just be

105 · Jan 2022

psych

DAF Jan 2022

psych

ants in the room
roaches in the car
bugs crawl on skin
brain hears alarms

105 · Jul 2018

Hoping

DAF Jul 2018

Hoping

I loved you
I say this despite all your lies
Now I write this not for likes
But
     For
          Lives
Who feel dead inside
Terrified no longer
Those who wish to stop giving
A ****
     Up
          Their breath
To people content with living underwater
Living less then they were meant for
Living under harsh conditions
Screaming
     In
          Their loves ear
Hoping that their heart would listen.

103 · Feb 2021

spill

DAF Feb 2021

spill

the stains will not come out.
though
i have started to like the way
they've begun to fade into the fabric
almost indistinguishable from cloth
as if they were not stains at all

103 · Feb 2019

Starch

DAF Feb 2019

Starch

I loved you but you weren't able.

You make me feel like mashed potatoes.

#stillonmymind

103 · Apr 2019

mosquito bite

DAF Apr 2019

mosquito bite

wonder why i itch to write
when wanters only wander
doers dance a simple step
still i know that most are somber

102 · Apr 2020

unsettled

DAF Apr 2020

unsettled

we were screaming
then there was silence
unsure of which was worse

102 · Mar 2019

two step

DAF Mar 2019

two step

danced with the devil

now im groovin

#electricslide

102 · Mar 2019

not necessary

DAF Mar 2019

not necessary

steal my heart

honest take it with you

                                                               it’s been causing too much trouble

                                                                       swear i’m better off without it

#bye

102 · Sep 2021

work in progress

DAF Sep 2021

work in progress

tell myself that i should smile more
but it seems i've tuned me out
think that i have lost my mind a bit
better times are rumors now
a grin of course may cross my lips
a momentary gift
only seconds though of sweet relief
still so far from fixed

101 · Sep 2019

4:42am

DAF Sep 2019

4:42am

No the night is not done yet
On the counter there's some drugs left
Take a sip or sniff
Start mixing sins

Conversations while on substance
With no substance
Hold no weight

But to lift the weight that holds me down would take
Too many highs
I am afraid

100 · May 2022

Hold Your Breath

DAF May 2022

Hold Your Breath

Dull pencil scratches notebook page
Regret the air that fills my lungs
Not always though
Not before
Not forever

99 · Mar 2019

hooked

DAF Mar 2019

hooked

i could write a novel filled with thoughts of you
although it sounds cliche
like legends told by fishermen
the one that got away

#catchandrelease

99 · Jun 2022

blanketed

DAF Jun 2022

blanketed

it’s been cloudy for so long
the rain now brings me comfort
hands reach out for shore
though the water holds me under
lungs still
heart beats through the chest
will there be a day
when i can finally rest

98 · Dec 2019

content in context

DAF Dec 2019

content in context

let it be
for now it seems as if it works
and if it works
i'd say its best to leave it as it were

content in context

however
there is something better i am sure
though i am uncertain how to get to it
so i'll go with what occurs

content in context

but comparably unhappy
a move to makes
a move that shakes
the foundation i am standing

96 · Oct 2021

gray skies

DAF Oct 2021

gray skies

just a shower

bound to pass

though it’s been raining quite a while now.

95 · Jun 2020

currently

DAF Jun 2020

currently

no such thing as perfect timing
sometimes things just happen to workout
poor timing though is tangible
just isn't right
right now

95 · Oct 2022

after hours

DAF Oct 2022

after hours

life is fine
i see it pass
stoic nonetheless
qualifying strands of mind
seams begin to stress
did what i
no going back
sleepless i will rest

95 · May 2022

Tied Shoes

DAF May 2022

Tied Shoes

“run on sentence!”
keep going until you can no longer
then take a few more steps
worry not about the way you read
or if the spelling’s right
the world must know the words you weave
“run on, run on, run on”

95 · Oct 2019

Reflection

DAF Oct 2019

Reflection

I am not happy with myself
How can that be so?
Are not myself and I one of the same?
Yet still
I am not happy with myself

Perhaps there are two

Many times I make choices and decisions that don't reflect what my true intentions are. This shows a gap between the self I want to be and the self I am. Hopefully I can someday merge the two.

93 · Jul 2020

maps

DAF Jul 2020

maps

lost my head
while searching for
my mind
so wrapped up in seeming well
insanity in vanity

93 · Jun 2018

Rhetorical Questions

DAF Jun 2018

Rhetorical Questions

I sleep a lot
I'm always tired, however never of you

I know distance makes the heart grow fonder

But sometimes space can cause the mind to wander

Well don't you love me anymore?

92 · Mar 2021

Campfire Memories

DAF Mar 2021

Campfire Memories

And
Slowly she smiled less
Her stories became shorter
And
I could tell it was the end of ours.

92 · Oct 2019

Jotted Down

DAF Oct 2019

Jotted Down

the mind
moves faster than
the hand
that holds
the pen
that's trying to catch up