A confusion, a haunting sense
Of emptiness, an absence
Of light, while darkness
Consumes me. A flailing mess
As panic overrides my
rationale, my fear gathers
In folds and puddles, stacks sky high
They said, 'You’re not like the others;
You’re different, you’ll make us proud!”
‘But I don't think so!’ I shout out loud
And run, because I'm frightened. Pain
Shoots through my veins, and there, again
I have lifted the bar of expectations higher
Pointed the gun at my very own head
And shot. Now I have no desire
To live, to fight. My will is dead
And so am I;
So am I.
Now I hang from the ceiling, the rope
Taut against my neck, all hope
Of living again, fighting my sorrow
Gone, there’s no more a tomorrow.
Now I bleed out on the grass
My wrist split open, a shard of glass
Lying beside me, which like a key
Had opened for the world a rare sight to see.
Now I drown; in water, in guilt
I lose my breath. I grip the hilt,
Drive the sword through my leaden heart
I reach the end of existence, when a part
Of me reaches into my depths and finds
A spark. Oh, the lord’s been kind!
Death after death stirs a life inside me
Now I won’t let my grief hide me
From the world. I’m still in here!
I can hear you, fight me if you dare!
I’ve been through hell and come back, my dear
I have nothing to lose, nothing to fear
I feel like glowing, like gold, flowing
My spirits are alive
And so am I;
So am I.
It's okay to burn yourself to the ground. You'll rise from the ashes.