i lose the mystery and i lose your attention
i'm better off as an idea in your head

I never dream but i dreamt of you
no idea why instead of nothingness until i wake up
you occupy my mind
it is odd
peculiar
unusual
my mind has an attachment to someone who left
in no more than 2 months

nodding off opiates i want a ****** girl who isnt afraid of the void like me
she knows what the ground feels like and we can lay there together
without a responsibility in the world
companionship is all we need to get by in this world
this version of us is not the most beautiful
but it is the one that we are stuck in

so lets leave together while we feel the most connected
she needs to know i was one of a kind
never to be seen again
in the sunlight or the moonlight
only in her dreams will i live on

i dont know you and you dont know me
but we can make this small room feel so serene
taking x and benzodiazepines
our brains melt away with so much ease

your not the one for me as i am not the one for you
but tonight we can make it feel like eternity in this room

we are worlds away
but i wanna make you feel immense pleasure
simply blissful
maybe there is no true connection
but our bodies were made for eachother

I am scared of getting old
can i stay pretty like a porcelain painting forever?
keep me in this frozen state
lifetimes pass
i stay the same
no changes to my young face with dark circles
no wrinkles around my neck and crows feet by my eyes
only pictures capture my beauty which is long from this earth
never to be casting a shadow from the sun again
ashes in the wind, one with the nature that kept me breathing in life

keep my memory close it is my way of living

i embarrass myself too much
i looked like a ******* idiot
like being on my hands and knees pleading for someone to come back
someone who doesn't want to come back
someone who i know loves me and has my best interest
but can never come back into my life
it is truly better that way
they know it and i know it too

we both knew it too well
those last couple nights we both felt like we were in limbo
nowhere to go
stuck

running in circles because our lives have very different paths

Young teenage Love, Real Love
which inevitably means your first real heartbreak
love is real and it only took me 17 years to find someone who i loved and who loved me
someone who loved me enough to realize being together was not healthy for each others future
love comes and goes like every other emotion in life
but i'm too young to know if their name and face will ever not make my stomach turn sideways